Posted: 11/29/2008 3:21:19 AM EDT
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My wife got this e-mail earlier this week. Thought it was funny but in many ways VERY true.
TEXAS......Some interesting reading for us Texan's Ok, Folks. Texas has given you complainers plenty of time to get used to the election results. After listening to all the whiners after the election, some folks from Real Texas have decided that we might just take matters into our own hands. First a little history lesson. It's our independent nature to point out the people who enjoy the Texas Lifestyle have the right to secede and form our own country once again whenever the people of Texas choose to do so. Some other states also have this right. The difference is, Texas has actually pulled that trigger before. Yes, Texas was an Independent Republic before it became a state and can secede. Nothing inherently prohibits that from taking place. Let's get this straight. John McCain, a real American hero, carried Texas by over a million votes. Texans can still smell the fires of the Twin Towers . We would also honor President Bush. George Bush simply did what any Real Texan would do and that is to go try his best to annihilate anyone who was responsible for attacking us. We don't fault him for that. We applaud that sort of behavior. It's Texas politics, Texas style. We're ready to secede. Don't get me wrong. We're like y'all - We just don't want to be like y'all. #1: Barak Obama becomes President of the United States (all the other 49 states). #2: Ross Perot becomes the next President of the Republic of Texas and invites John McCain to be an honorary Texan. We honor our heroes in Texas and honor their service. McCain is welcome here and he can be Secretary of the Texas Navy. Native Texan George Foreman will be Secretary of Defense. After that is all said and done, we wish Mr. Obama well. We really do. We expect one of Perot's first acts as President of the Republic will be to tear down the border wall and erect a 10' wall around Austin to keep the "Austin Weird" folks in and away from the rest of us. If they will just pipe their Texas music out over the wall, it will keep the rest of us happy. ( Just kidding my Austin relatives on that one.) However, Willie will be Secretary of Agriculture and music. Wonder what he will grow? So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic? Here's a few things to be aware of. Texas is the 11th largest economy on the planet. We are bigger than Spain and right behind Great Britain . We are also bigger than Russia . We are an economic force to be reckoned with. We have a constitutional amendment to balance our budget..and we do it. We also have a multi-billion dollar budget surplus this year. We are so big, we have our own power grid. Yes, that's true. What else? NASA is in Houston . (we will control the space industry). We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States . Defense Industry? We have over 65% of it. The term "Don't mess with Texas ," will take on a whole new meaning. Oil - we can supply all the oil the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Obama states? Sorry about that. As David Werst said, "We're like y'all, we just don't want to be like y'all." You can buy oil (pronounced like y'all) from us instead of terrorist countries that hate you. We will love you for paying so much to us instead of Saudi Arabia , Venezuela , Kuwait and others. You don't want to 'drill baby drill' or put up with those nasty oil wells? Well, we do and we know how to do it without polluting the land, air, and sea. BTW-We have our own ports and shipping lanes. We're also not "waiting on our FEMA check" to rebuild Galveston . We are doing it right now as we speak. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and again, it's just too bad about you blue Obama states who don't want drilling. We've been driving around with those big tanks in the backs of our pickups for years now. We'll switch over to compressed natural gas. Obama will figure a way to keep y'all warm..according to your need. Or, you could use ocean waves, or make friends with Hugo Chavez or what's his name in Iran . Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell, EDS, Raytheon, Motorola, Intel, Austin Technology Centers Etc , Etc. The list goes on and on. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, and other large health centers. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Texas State University , Rice, SMU, TCU, University of Houston , Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway. We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some more). But, we won't have an illegal immigration problem. Former Texas Governor candidate Kinky Friedman solved that. He proposed we pay 5 Mexican Generals a million a year to control illegal immigration-folks coming from Mexico to Texas illegally. For every illegal that slips through, we deduct $10,000. Wonder how many will get across the border into Texas ? We won't need a Border Patrol. We like tourism. Come stay a while. Enjoy a Cowboys game or go to Six Flags over Texas ..then go home. We don't need any more Californians coming here and messing things up. Or, they could live in Austin where we can keep an eye on 'em. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here is heavily armed and has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 6 hours if we need it. That's the Texas way. When the tower sniper started shooting in Austin a few years back, citizens piled out of their cars and pickups and started returning fire within 2 minutes. Our citizens are licensed to carry handguns on their person. We have a saying down here: "If you mess with the bull, you're gonna get the horn." And an even more remarkable finding from the past.. Average murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Bush: 0.1 of one percent. Average murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Gore: 13.2. In Texas , even some of our school teachers carry guns. We won't surrender our kids to nuts and terrorists without a fight. Don't even think about messing with us. If you want the sticker, click on it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Texas DPS and ask them to send over a couple of Texas Rangers. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and vegetable produce and everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food. Arts? Bob Wills is still the king, but we also like different types of music, Country..and..Western. We even have our own beer. Lone Star, The National Beer of Texas . This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have. Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, we'll sell you gas too. We'll call the gas company Texasco or something like that. Happy to do it. You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications or ask you to pay for the signal. It will be Texas Direct TV. Hank Jr. will move here and be in charge of programming. Did you know we don't even have an income tax? We have all we need here in God's country and like I've already said, if we don't have it, we don't need it. We will have cheap, plentiful energy. The new Texas Secretary of Energy, T. Boone Pickens will be putting up thousands of wind generators all over the West Texas plains and since everybody else thinks Texas is full of hot air, we might as well take advantage of it. Good luck. Y'all are gonna need it. Signed, The People of Real Texas |
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Quoted: What we need is a leader who can carry through with secession.
I'll do it. As former President of the Harvest 4-H club, I have more executive experience that Obama does. If he can run the entire Union, I can run Texas. 
Let's do it, Texicans! Remember Goliad! Remember the Alamo! 
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Quoted:
If we did leave the USA, then Mexico would be on us like a duck on a June bug. Mexican troops would flood over Texas, taking anything they wanted. Talk about gun rights? Kiss'em goodby. Do you want to live in Mexico? They could (would) try, but for some reason taking over an armed population is a very hard task. |
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They could (would) try, but for some reason taking over an armed population is a very hard task. Only if that armed population is willing to fight? Young kids armed with Gucci type AR-15s equipped with all the latest "tacticool" gadgets are not going to cut the mustard. Watch how fast your armed population rapidly becomes a, "Si, some of my best friends are Mexicans." crowd. |
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WE could take mexico. We would rip them to pieces. They can't even secure their own country from drug gangs much less try to hold parts of Texas.
I'm all for secession but I don't want anything to do with John (stab conservatives in the back) McCain. We have much better "heroes" in Texas than the likes of McCain. Whoever wrote the article must be an idiot or a yankee immigrant since there is so much stereotyping in it. Quoted:
If we did leave the USA, then Mexico would be on us like a duck on a June bug. Mexican troops would flood over Texas, taking anything they wanted. Talk about gun rights? Kiss'em goodby. Do you want to live in Mexico? |
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Quoted:
They could (would) try, but for some reason taking over an armed population is a very hard task. Only if that armed population is willing to fight? Young kids armed with Gucci type AR-15s equipped with all the latest "tacticool" gadgets are not going to cut the mustard. Watch how fast your armed population rapidly becomes a, "Si, some of my best friends are Mexicans." crowd. What Texas do you live in? |
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Quoted:
Quoted: What we need is a leader who can carry through with secession.
I'll do it. As former President of the Harvest 4-H club, I have more executive experience that Obama does. If he can run the entire Union, I can run Texas.
Let's do it, Texicans! Remember Goliad! Remember the Alamo!
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Quoted:
Quoted:
They could (would) try, but for some reason taking over an armed population is a very hard task. Only if that armed population is willing to fight? Young kids armed with Gucci type AR-15s equipped with all the latest "tacticool" gadgets are not going to cut the mustard. Watch how fast your armed population rapidly becomes a, "Si, some of my best friends are Mexicans." crowd. What Texas do you live in? The real one, where words speak louder than action. Where intentions are worth more than substance. Welcome to the new Politically Correct world. |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
They could (would) try, but for some reason taking over an armed population is a very hard task. Only if that armed population is willing to fight? Young kids armed with Gucci type AR-15s equipped with all the latest "tacticool" gadgets are not going to cut the mustard. Watch how fast your armed population rapidly becomes a, "Si, some of my best friends are Mexicans." crowd. What Texas do you live in? The real one, where words speak louder than action. Where intentions are worth more than substance. Welcome to the new Politically Correct world. I didnt know you were from Dallas County!!!!!  
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God please let us be able to import beer.
I have had a Lone Star before .... ONCE. 
Of course this is Texas and we all have our opion..... I would rejoin the Texas Navy in a Heart beat. Then go to cool foreign ports like Cuba for cigars.   
Could we be required to have Sidearms in the Navy?
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Quoted:
Yeah, like Juan Seguin, Lorenzo de Zavala, Jose Antonio Navarro, and Jose Francisco Ruiz.....
They could (would) try, but for some reason taking over an armed population is a very hard task. Young kids armed with Gucci type AR-15s equipped with all the latest "tacticool" gadgets are not going to cut the mustard. Watch how fast your armed population rapidly becomes a, "Si, some of my best friends are Mexicans." crowd. Not to mention that there are a couple Juans and Joses numbered amongst the Alamo Defenders..... 
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This is fun to bullshit about, try to figure out how powerful we would be on the world stage, but.
There is no way in hell we will secede. It's our country, not theirs! We will take it back no matter how long it takes. We won't do it by force- we will outsmart them. That shouldn't be hard. We take it back one seat at a time if necessary. No matter how difficult they make life for us, it won't matter. We will take our country back. Secede, no. But I guess we could invade and annex the rest of the U.S., just for fun. Jim |
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A little history lesson.
Prior to the war of northern aggression (civil war to you foreigners), each state that seceded, issued a list of reasons for doing so, commonly referred to as an "ordnance of secession". Take a look at the Texas ordnance of Secession In it, were listed reasons for leaving the union. One of them was that the feds were not holding up their end of the bargain with border security. Funny how things never change. The Federal Government, while but partially under the control of these our unnatural and sectional enemies, has for years almost entirely failed to protect the lives and property of the people of Texas against the Indian savages on our border, and more recently against the murderous forays of banditti from the neighboring territory of Mexico; and when our State government has expended large amounts for such purpose, the Federal Government has refused reimbursement therefor, thus rendering our condition more insecure and harassing than it was during the existence of the Republic of Texas. |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
If we did leave the USA, then Mexico would be on us like a duck on a June bug. Mexican troops would flood over Texas, taking anything they wanted. Do you want to live in Mexico? Too late! 
Um, I live in San Antonio, aside from El Paso, we arent too far from "little Mexico" as it stands. Mexico Can't afford a War, and the Hispanic community that is indigenous to Texas would fight to keep Mexico out along side us. They are after all Texicans. Besides if the fed wasn't holding us back, our borders would be more secure ;) |
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Happy New Year ALL!
Glad to see the (Texas Could Secede) interest again. The last one got locked, too hot a topic for the time. Take a look at this link, http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123051100709638419.html I ran across it at http://westernrifleshooters.blogspot.com/ |
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Talk about serendipity....
I thought about this very thread today, while catching up on my reading in the LaRue "That's no moon, that's a battle station" gross speculation thread: Quoted:
We could also force Don Williams to rewrite his famous "Tulsa Time" song to read "Livin' on Texas time....."
Quoted:
It will be, once this battle station is fully-operational.
Quoted:
Yee-hah, and damn strait. All time should be Texas time...i think Mark's part of Texas is Central time, meaning he still has an hour left Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha....... Oh, and because no "Death Star" thread would be complete without it: http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b277/wise_jake/vader_thinkitthrough.jpg 
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Quoted:
Was watching the Western Channel at the in-laws over the Christmas holiday, and there was this one quasi-comedy with Dean Martin.
Full, geographical seceesion!  A Spanish Nobleman "accidentally" murders a Union officer and is running from his brothers-in-arms. His fiancee tells him to flee to Texas, and meet him in a certain town. The Nobleman asks if it will be difficult to find, and the fiancee replies "How big can it be; Texas isn't even a state!"
So he flees, then crosses the river (Red River, I'm assuming) and finds his way to the town where his fiancee said she would meet up with him, but no one's heard of her. He asks a shop-keeper if he's in Texas; shop-keeper answers in the affirmative. So he asks if this is the *only* Texas.
Shop-keeper says something to the effect of "Son, if there was more than one Texas, there wouldn't nearly be enough room for anything else."
Even funnier when you consider the size of Texas during the time period the movie likely was set in..... |
| The only problem is the people here keep voting for that idiot Perry. We need a governor who is willing to stand up to the US government and tell them that if they don't start taking care of Texas then we will be forced to take matters into our own hands and leave the union. Then of course we would have to worry about the US military presence that is all over our state. This is really not a realistic option. There is no way to peacefully leave the US and we are in no way able to fight our way to freedom. We would have to rely on help from Mexico and South America. Lets face it folks this would never happen. We are stuck here. All we can do is keep trying to get the right people voted in to office. |