Posted: 8/29/2010 2:29:11 PM EDT
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Well it made me laugh...
Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the bar-room, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria's pint.
Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over, then walks over, waves a fist at Germany while Britain knocks it out, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends. "In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it." - Field Marshal Erwin Rommel |
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What a way to describe how 15million people were butchered  .
Tony I am with Tony on this one, I would not expect anyone on here to make light of the losses being sustained by our people (i.e. UK, US, Canada, et all) in Afghanistan. The recent court cases in the UK where people have disrespected war memorials and veterans show that respect for and understanding of the sacrifices and suffering of the most devastating wars in history is slipping, an unsatisfactory state of affairs. Lest we forget, gentlemen. |
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What a way to describe how 15million people were butchered .
Tony Interesting observation. CH4 ran a documentary recently about the worlds 100 most offensive jokes and discussed whether everything is fair game for humour. I tend to think it is as long as the audience is all of the same mind. |
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What a way to describe how 15million people were butchered .
Tony I am with Tony on this one, I would not expect anyone on here to make light of the losses being sustained by our people (i.e. UK, US, Canada, et all) in Afghanistan. The recent court cases in the UK where people have disrespected war memorials and veterans show that respect for and understanding of the sacrifices and suffering of the most devastating wars in history is slipping, an unsatisfactory state of affairs. Lest we forget, gentlemen. Hmmmmmmmmm If I remember rightly France were our Allies ? Lost one hell of a lot of men in both wars ? Yet, I have lost count of the number of times I have heard jokes from British people referring to French tanks having 1 forward gear and 15 reverse. And who coined the "Cheese eating surrender monkey" nickname ? The British I believe ? I think that it goes without saying that guys on this forum respect the sacrifices made in the past and being made now. Does not stop us having a sense of humour though. |
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I have and always will crack a joke on the equipment of one army or another.
Here's an old Tankie joke about our beloved Chieftain tank's, "they are good in a war, just as long as you breakdown in a good fire position". As to the recent court case of urinating and lewd activity at or on our war memorials. In the past these things have happened, but with the inception of 24/7 CCTV and a total lack of discretion on the part of those who are paid to monitor them systems, things that should never have come to light have been blown out of all proportion, thanks to the big brother mentality. Just a though, who has in their past relieved themselves or had a quickie in a public place  What none of you .
It is only in recently been seen fit to honour our troops from the great war in my home town Chorley Pals, and yes there are quite a few from my mothers side who fell in that war  .
BTW, it was an Italian model of tank that had more reverse gears than forwards. 
Tony |
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I have and always will crack a joke on the equipment of one army or another. Here's an old Tankie joke about our beloved Chieftain tank's, "they are good in a war, just as long as you breakdown in a good fire position". As to the recent court case of urinating and lewd activity at or on our war memorials. In the past these things have happened, but with the inception of 24/7 CCTV and a total lack of discretion on the part of those who are paid to monitor them systems, things that should never have come to light have been blown out of all proportion, thanks to the big brother mentality. Just a though, who has in their past relieved themselves or had a quickie in a public place What none of you.
It is only in recently been seen fit to honour our troops from the great war in my home town Chorley Pals, and yes there are quite a few from my mothers side who fell in that war .
BTW, it was an Italian model of tank that had more reverse gears than forwards.
Tony How very dare you with your racialist anti Italian attitude. They were our allies too. Well, part-time anyway. 
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Does this mean that you don't/didn't like Black Adder goes Forth? Me ? Or Tony ? I loved it. Fantastic stuff. Flash-heart was fab. And The Red Baron too. +1 But if all you can conjure up is Black Adder goes forth, when you think of the great war, how sad. Think of the rat infested trenches, massed attacks into no man's land and the mustard gas attacks that killed hundreds, not to mention the execution of troops who were obviously shell shocked (PTSD), trench foot, the list is endless. Tony |
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I was out one night as a lad on the razzle, and nipped down an alley for a pee. There i was, peeing merrily down a grate, completely out of sight, and there was a tap on my shoulder. I wheeled round, to see two coppers stood there.......with now freshly pissed on boots.
That cost me £110......25 years ago. The bitch that peed on the war memorial should be made to scrub it every day for a year. That was bang out of order. |
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Very creative and entertaining read.
And no, that doesn't mean I lack respect for those that fought and lost their lives in WWI, and yes I did find Black Adder Goes Forth funny, and poigniant at the same time. Furthermore I don't think it makes light of the butchery of 15 million people either. What it does make a mockery of is the political clusterfuck that seems to be behind every war fought including Afghanistan, Iraq and all the other wars. It just puts that political clusterfuck into the context of a pissed up brawl in a pub....... Taking a cynical view of the utter political stupidity and incompetence that leads to war, doesn't reflect on the men that fight it....... they are there because the politicians screwed up and someone has to fight to pick up the pieces. I don't think anyone is failing to recognise the sacrifice made by those that fought. That's my view anyway.
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Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Does this mean that you don't/didn't like Black Adder goes Forth? Me ? Or Tony ? I loved it. Fantastic stuff. Flash-heart was fab. And The Red Baron too. +1 But if all you can conjure up is Black Adder goes forth, when you think of the great war, how sad. Think of the rat infested trenches, massed attacks into no man's land and the mustard gas attacks that killed hundreds, not to mention the execution of troops who were obviously shell shocked (PTSD), trench foot, the list is endless. Tony  |
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The bitch that peed on the war memorial should be made to scrub it every day for a year. That was bang out of order. What about her human rights , and I'm being more sarcastic than the most sarcastic one from sarcastic land .
Anyhow, in this topsy turvy PC anything goes environment in which we now live, that allows certain groups (religious/political/ whatever) carte blanch to do as they wish in public, its almost not worth getting upset about, which in itself is a crying shame .
Tony |
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Well it made me laugh... Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the bar-room, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria's pint.
Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria's trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone. Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change. Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall over, then walks over, waves a fist at Germany while Britain knocks it out, then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends. "In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it." - Field Marshal Erwin Rommel USA! USA! USA! |
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Does this mean that you don't/didn't like Black Adder goes Forth? Me ? Or Tony ? I loved it. Fantastic stuff. Flash-heart was fab. And The Red Baron too. +1 But if all you can conjure up is Black Adder goes forth, when you think of the great war, how sad. Think of the rat infested trenches, massed attacks into no man's land and the mustard gas attacks that killed hundreds, not to mention the execution of troops who were obviously shell shocked (PTSD), trench foot, the list is endless. Tony Tony, If you want to imagine true horror, just think of the chocolaty bits on Baldricks cappuchino.
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Does this mean that you don't/didn't like Black Adder goes Forth? Me ? Or Tony ? I loved it. Fantastic stuff. Flash-heart was fab. And The Red Baron too. +1 But if all you can conjure up is Black Adder goes forth, when you think of the great war, how sad. Think of the rat infested trenches, massed attacks into no man's land and the mustard gas attacks that killed hundreds, not to mention the execution of troops who were obviously shell shocked (PTSD), trench foot, the list is endless. Tony Tony, If you want to imagine true horror, just think of the chocolaty bits on Baldricks cappuchino.
I much preferred his poetry, you know the one on the guns of the German Artillery .
Tony |
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Does this mean that you don't/didn't like Black Adder goes Forth? Me ? Or Tony ? I loved it. Fantastic stuff. Flash-heart was fab. And The Red Baron too. +1 I have taken his advice and carry a bullet around with my name on it
But if all you can conjure up is Black Adder goes forth, when you think of the great war, how sad. Think of the rat infested trenches, massed attacks into no man's land and the mustard gas attacks that killed hundreds, not to mention the execution of troops who were obviously shell shocked (PTSD), trench foot, the list is endless. Tony Tony, If you want to imagine true horror, just think of the chocolaty bits on Baldricks cappuchino.
I much preferred his poetry, you know the one on the guns of the German Artillery .
Tony |