Posted: 8/25/2010 12:50:41 PM EDT
I just opened my wheelie bin and a wasp flew out. What kind of sick fucker would throw a wasp in a bin?
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Im savin that gif, luv it
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A woman is out shopping when she finds herself strongly attracted to a male shop assistant. She persuades him to carry her shopping out to her car and once in the car park decides to confess her urges to him in an attempt to seduce him. As they walk through the car park she says to him '.....I've just got to tell you, I have an itchy pussy'
He replies.' You'll have to point it out love, these Japanes cars all look the same to me...' |
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A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight, the lawyer thinks that seniors are stupid and that he can get one over the old guy.
The lawyer asks the old guy if he would like to play a game to pass the time, the old guy says he is tired and wants to have a nap so declines. The lawyer persists telling the old guy it will be a lot of fun. The lawyer explains,I ask you a question if you don't know the answer, you pay me £5. Then, you ask me a question, if I don't know the answer, I pay you £500. Eventually the old guy relents and the game starts. The lawyer starts by asking the old guy "What is the distance from the Earth to the Sun?". The old guy says nothing, puts his hand into his pocket, takes out £5 and gives it to the lawyer. The old guy then asks the lawyer "What goes uphill with three legs and comes down with four?". The lawyer uses his laptop the search all the references he can, he emails all his smart arse friends but to no avail, after an hour he gives up. He wakes up the old guy and hands him £500, the old guy puts it in his pocket and goes back to sleep. After ten minutes the lawyer is going mad not knowing the answer, so wakes up the old guy and asks him, "Well, what goes uphill with three legs and comes down with four?". The old guy reaches into his pocket, takes out £5, gives it to the lawyer and goes back to sleep. |