Posted: 3/5/2009 12:50:17 AM EDT
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For her wedding, Camilla bought a new pair of shoes, which got increasingly tighter & tighter as the day went on. That night after the festivities were finally over, she & Charles retired to their room. Camilla flopped on the bed and said 'Please remove my shoes darling. Ones feet are killing one.' Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour . . . . but it would not budge. 'Harder', yelled Camilla, 'Harder'. Charles yelled back, 'I'm trying darling! But it's just so bloody tight!'. 'Come on give it all you've got ' she cried.. Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla exclaimed 'There! Oh God, that feels so good.' In their bedroom next door The Queen turned to Prince Philip and said 'See, I told you she was probably still a virgin with a face like that!' Meanwhile back in the other bedroom Charles was attempting to remove the other shoe when he cried out 'Oh god, darling this ones even tighter' At which point Prince Philip turned and said to the Queen 'That's my boy - Once a Navy man, always a Navy man!' |
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Robbie Williams, Elton John and Kylie Minogue are walking down the street, suddenly Kylie trips and gets her head stuck between some railings. Quick as a flash Robbie whips down her knickers and gives her a good seeing too. He turns to Elton and shouts " c'mon Elton, your turn" Elton starts to cry so Robbie asks him what the matter was, Elton said "I'll never get my head between those railings"
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The Sensitive Man
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, She is quite impressed by his sensitive side. but doesn't mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?' She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well,how was it?' The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says: 'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf' 
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I went to on the pull last weekend and got this real fit 52 year old  I mean she was fit ,  anyway , we get back to her place and she says , would you like some mother , daughter action .  I say, would I ever  then she stands at the foot of the stair's and shouts up . mother are you still awake |
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The marriage A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.' He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.' So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, 'That was incredible!' He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.' So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths. After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath. He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?' 'No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the Mersey
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