Posted: 12/23/2006 11:12:01 AM EDT
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Just spotted this on the net, I thought it was quite good Man Laws 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth. 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice. 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free. 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy. 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man While lifting weights: a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers! 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting In line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 24:The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was. 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue. 27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. 28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. 29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below: "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next! Steve |
I'm on my 3rd can of Wife Beater. I've been given 4 bottles of Whiskey over the last few days and there's only one left  I've been posting some right old bollocks over in GD and a couple of threads have been locked or disappeared 
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And you, A Mod You should be tared and fethered, then stripped of you right to delete  Steve |
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You better be shitting me  18 my assand as for queen, get a grip ! Steve |
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I would but as a Scouser, you'd probably nick my car |
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Sooo, you're 18, and he's 30 and you're both crapping on about Queen and the Floyd I'm f**king old enough to be your dad and currently listening to Lily Allen  Figure that one out. BTW I highly recommend her new album, it's very excellent and has surprised me as to how good it is 
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Lily Allen |
Dunno how you can say that. Obviously Tyga's not the juvenile here. Could be that you haven't listened to her album to realise how good it actually is. Anyhoo, even if it was shite, it could never be as crap as all that Ferry Cross the Mersey Bollox 
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Hey Gramps..  So I take it you aint coming to see Roger Waters next year @ Earls Court...? Taffy  ETA Steve Tickets are already on sale.....the first day has sold out already. I've got tickets for the second day. |
Nice one Taff Are the tickets on sale yet ? And you wouldnt happen to have live at pompeii would you, Is that the one with the greatest comfortably numb version ? I've got a rough copy but i'd love it in high quality Steve |
Old f**kin' hat ! Water's ain't officially recognised as the Floyd anyhoo. I've done my share of all that music, but I'm not stuck in some time warp like you guys. f**k off back to the '60,s in Dr Evil's time machine and see if you enjoy rickets and Typhoid while you there too. You lot haven't got a clue and this threads off track That girls got talent, unfortunately as you all live in the provences you don't have a clue about what's going on in the bigger world That's all. BTW, next one to reply is a poofter.........who's it gonna be?
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Me It's my thread and i'll decide when it's of track  Floyd will stand the test of time, unlike some loud mouth little shit like lilly allen ! You might think your in with the crowd, but that just proves you want to be younger that you are  Laters dude  Steve E.T.A. David Gilmore is Floyd, but it wouldnt have been the same without Waters ! |
You're wrong as I make my own decisions. Floyd are been and done and would rather listen to something that's new and fresh rather than all that pretentious wank that was written under the influence of every illegal substance known to man. ps haven't you heard....drugs aren't cool
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regardless The music that results is some of the best ever, Each to there own, it's not an arguing point, you either like it or you dont, I do and others dont, thats life ! Floyd aint done, you anounce a floyd concert and it'll be sold out quicket than a ticket to see Blair play roulette Steve |
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Erismena Try some proper music, not now, wait for the Stella to wear off guys. Floyd live at Pompeii, saw that at a cinema late 60's Lilly Allen, I like her, clever lyrics 
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I cant believe Mark woke you up just to post in this thread Steve |
I respect your view but to me Waters is/was the core to Floyd.IMHO Gilmore just took up the batton once Waters moved on to do his own stuff. |
You don't have to do drugs to listen... BTW I'd imagine drugs fueled many bands out there and still do. 13.14 pm Crimbo eve and third beer What else is there to do? Taffy |
Well I've just got back from last minute shopping @ Tesco's It's mental down there
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You'll love this.... Link Tesco Taffy |
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