Posted: 1/22/2009 4:40:51 PM EDT
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It feels good to laugh at Portland.
"This scandal has probably left a bad taste in Beau Breedlove's mouth." "I'm not going to get behind Sam... and I'm not going to let him get behind me." "Portland: the only city in Oregon where an 18 year old can enjoy a Sam Adams." |
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Quoted:
I can't wait for the Breedlove jokes, what the fuck kind of name is that. Well, I don't know if you're serious or not, but.. http://www.breedloveguitars.com/. They make fantastic guitars, and they're in Bend.. not sure if there's any connection or not. |
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Somewhere among the many road construction sites in Portland OR.
Generic Riveter," Hey my boy has a great job with the towns biggest engineering firm, and I was just informed that my third grandchild made his first poop. The doctor said the only other time he saw an obama that big in a diaper was at the Bush ranch in Texas. My son and daughter in law can sure build a little trooper." "Oh yeah" says the second generic riveter," my son is in the Oregonian because when he was 18 he sucked Sam Adams poop of of his cock. I heard from Randy Leonard that he did a really good job and saved a pube to floss the tadpoles from between his teeth." replied Sr. Breedlove."When Mayor Sam Adams finally impregnates my son I bet the child will blast the diaper with a massive obama." Generic Riveter is somehow holding down his laughter mixed with disgust and replies," hey dipshit you know that two men can't make a baby right?" Sr.Breedlove shoots back,"while if they can do it in Bend then they sure as hell can do it in Portland. In case you didn't know we have a gay Mayor in this town. That proves that rules of traditional math, science, and biology are behind the times. Two men can make a babies here in Portland, and if you say otherwise I'm gonna tell our diversity coordinator on you. If she finds you guilty of "hetero sexism" not only will be fired, but your ass will hang." Generic Riveter heads back to work, choking on a tragic sort of laughter. Meanwhile a phone call is made. In the Pearl District a woman is wiping hair off of her pantsuit, she just got a "high and tight". Even being 5' tall this woman is hard to miss, her hips match her highth,and even though she never smiles, her lips are so thin you can see her blackened teeth. She feels a buzz far to her right,struggles to remove her cell phone from her hip (its so far away) and growls "hello". |
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Now that's funny! 
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