Posted: 10/31/2013 5:47:05 PM EDT
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A cabbie picks up a Nun in San Francisco. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you.'
She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.' 'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.' She responds, 'well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.' The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!' 'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.' The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush but when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. 'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?' 'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm Jewish.' The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.' |
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I told my wife that I wanted to start a new tradition in our neighborhood with a night called "drink or treat" instead of trick or treat. I said it would be a house-to-house event where you go up to the houses and say "drink or treat" and they give you booze.
She looked at me and said: You want to have a night where you try to scam drinks off the neighbors? I thought you called that Tuesday. |
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A woman is having a costume party for halloween. The only rule is you have to dress up as an emotion.
The night of the party, the first guest arrives.The woman opens the door and sees a man wearing a green custume with green face paint. What are you dressed up as? The man replies, well I'm green with envy. What a wonderful costume come right in. After awhile another guest arrives. The woman opens the door and there's a girl dressed all in pink. The woman says to the girl what a unique costume, what emotion are you? I'm tickled pink. What a great costume! Enjoy the party. After awhile the woman hears another knock on the door. She opens the door and is shocked by what she sees. Standing naked on her porch are two naked men holding something in front of their crotches. One of them has his dick in a custard, and the other has his dick in a pear. The woman says to them, you have some nerve! You have to be dressed as an emotion to attend this party. What are you talking about lady? We are emotions. I'm fuckin disgusted and he's deep in despair. |