Posted: 9/5/2015 2:53:09 PM EDT
| Hey arfcom, I need some help here. I just moved to St Louis 2 years ago (wife has family here)and I'm currently going through a divorce. I'll be sharing custody (50/50) of my 3 daughters with my ex, and she's keeping our current rental house. She wants me out asap, and I'm having trouble finding a place to live. I'm willing to move within 1 hour of St Louis (preferably around St Peters/ Ofallon/Wentzville) but not to Illinois, and I need at least a 2 bedroom (3 would be better)place for my daughters and I. Here's the kicker, I can only afford $800/month, I have a dog, and I have poor credit from the divorce. I do have excellent rental history for the past 4-5 years, and before that I owned my home. I've placed some ads on craigslis (I know, I know) without any luck. Any advice or resources you guys or gals care to share? |
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Talk to your lawyer. May be best to stay in house until divorce final. Divorce should be final in 30-60 days, and she's given me 60 days to move before she starts the eviction process. We were both on the lease originally, but she resigned in August without my knowledge. We've agreed on 50/50 custody, no child support or alimony. She makes roughly twice my salary, so I could get child support if I really wanted it. I'd rather just get this over with so I can move on, thanks for the advice though. |
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Divorce should be final in 30-60 days, and she's given me 60 days to move before she starts the eviction process. We were both on the lease originally, but she resigned in August without my knowledge. We've agreed on 50/50 custody, no child support or alimony. She makes roughly twice my salary, so I could get child support if I really wanted it. I'd rather just get this over with so I can move on, thanks for the advice though. Quoted:
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Talk to your lawyer. May be best to stay in house until divorce final. Divorce should be final in 30-60 days, and she's given me 60 days to move before she starts the eviction process. We were both on the lease originally, but she resigned in August without my knowledge. We've agreed on 50/50 custody, no child support or alimony. She makes roughly twice my salary, so I could get child support if I really wanted it. I'd rather just get this over with so I can move on, thanks for the advice though. It's for the kids, not you. Try to think about that for a second. |
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It's for the kids, not you. Try to think about that for a second. Quoted:
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Talk to your lawyer. May be best to stay in house until divorce final. Divorce should be final in 30-60 days, and she's given me 60 days to move before she starts the eviction process. We were both on the lease originally, but she resigned in August without my knowledge. We've agreed on 50/50 custody, no child support or alimony. She makes roughly twice my salary, so I could get child support if I really wanted it. I'd rather just get this over with so I can move on, thanks for the advice though. It's for the kids, not you. Try to think about that for a second. I thought long and hard about it, believe me. I'll spend 10k-25k on attorney's fees just to get child support of maybe $1,000 bucks a month for 3 years, at which time I'll be making the same salary as her. In 5 years, I'll be making 80k/year to her 60k, then she can get child support from me if she's pissed. We've agreed to split parenting costs 50/50, and so far it's working well. It's true, I'll have to sacrifice and pick up a second job to make ends meet for now,bbut it will be better for the kids in the long run. I've discussed this in depth with multiple attorneys. I appreciate the advice though, thanks. |
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You'll have to look a little further out to find anything in that price range that isn't in the hood. If you'll come as far out as Montgomery City, I know a couple of people that have a lot of rentals. IM me if you want some contact info. I appreciate the offer, but my kids are enrolled in school in St Peters, and I usually work near downtown St Louis. That's just too far for me to commute. |
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Good luck OP. Divorce is hard on everyone and especially the kids, where they're not privy to a lot of grownup talks and court proceedings. So all they can do is guess or listen to the possible bad things the other parent is spewing about the Ex. They might appear ok on the outside, but inside they're crying and rebelling.
Have you set up counseling on both sides to help the kids to cope with this? I went through a divorce when my 2 girls just became teenagers close to 20yrs ago. Man was that a wild ride to try and help them on. Their mother lied and told them the all the shit-storm things she could think of to make me look bad. Now that they're grown and have family's of their own, they know the truth as I was telling them to be true. Their mother has lost a couple of great ladies from this. I told them you only have 1 mother and love her anyway as she won't be here, forever. |
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Good luck OP. Divorce is hard on everyone and especially the kids, where they're not privy to a lot of grownup talks and court proceedings. So all they can do is guess or listen to the possible bad things the other parent is spewing about the Ex. They might appear ok on the outside, but inside they're crying and rebelling. Have you set up counseling on both sides to help the kids to cope with this? I went through a divorce when my 2 girls just became teenagers close to 20yrs ago. Man was that a wild ride to try and help them on. Their mother lied and told them the all the shit-storm things she could think of to make me look bad. Now that they're grown and have family's of their own, they know the truth as I was telling them to be true. Their mother has lost a couple of great ladies from this. I told them you only have 1 mother and love her anyway as she won't be here, forever. Yes, I signed them up for group divorce counseling at school, and I'm looking into individual counseling for them as well. I talk to them frequently about divorce and life in general, and I always treat their mother with respect. I don't say negative things about their mother to them, though I can't say she doesn't talk negatively about me. We were always close to her brother and his wife, and when they heard about the divorce they gave me the whole " we love you and you'll always be a part of the family no matter what" speech. Then I noticed they all dropped me on Facebook, and they haven't been inviting me to any get togethers that I usually attended. So last month my wife accidentally sent me a text message meant for her brother/sil where they were all referring to me as "the douchebag". I'll be honest, that sucks more than anything negative my wife could say about me. You're right though, divorce sucks for children. All I can do is spend as much time with them as possible and show them how much I love them with my actions. My ex spends most of her time with her new boyfriend, and they're definitely noticing that he is her priority right now. I tried talking to her about it, but she wasn't willing to hear me out. |
| Not the area that you were really looking for, but we live in the St. Louis County side of Fenton. Our apartments aren't bad, people are generally friendly & keep to themselves, and with a dog and a cat we pay $750/MO for 2 bedrooms. We also had kinda shitty credit and unstable work history and it was still pretty easy to get in to. Rockwood school district, and about 5 minutes from 270 & 44. |
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There is a house for sale near me that bet can be bought for that monthly payment. I will check the price. This house is on St Paul road just north of P. 1860 St Paul Road, 636-497-2267
I have a friend with a different house for sale on H. P north of O fallon about a half mile east of St Joseph road, and he might be willing to rent since he is pragmatic. I can ask tomorrow. 2743 H P, 636-724-5844 , ask for Roger. There is a nice little house on the market at 2067 St Paul Rd, 314-882-7050. The last house is listed, the other two are FSBO. |
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There is a house for sale near me that bet can be bought for that monthly payment. I will check the price. This house is on St Paul road just north of P. I have a friend with a different house for sale on H. P north of O fallon about a half mile east of St Joseph road, and he might be willing to rent since he is pragmatic. I can ask tomorrow. That would be great, thanks. |
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This would be an easy trip up I-44 to work, and changing school enrollment shouldn't be that bad, since school just started. Quoted:
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You can get a house like that in Washington for that. I can ask around of you like. This would be an easy trip up I-44 to work, and changing school enrollment shouldn't be that bad, since school just started. Changing schools isn't an option, the girls are happy where they are, and their mother is staying at our current address in order to be custodial parent. I could fight her on this, but imo it would only make things harder on the girls and it would delay the divorce indefinitely. Also to clarify, I can't move as far as Washington, my kids go to school in St Peters, band I usually work all over St Louis to include downtown. I would consider commuting, but I can't do that to my kids. I don't think a judge would allow it anyway if my ex decided to get nasty and fight me on it. I think the furthest I would consider is Lake St Louis/ Wentzville. |