Posted: 9/18/2012 3:28:38 PM EDT
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I couldnt believe it, standing there in the hippie co op - Yes I go there- looking at a bottle of bacon, maple voodoo doughnut beer....oh shit can such a thing be possible?
three wonderful- and critical- elements of life in one bottle. I took it home, along with a bottle of Pliny the elder....still having a hard time beleiving such a thing possible. my other half was just as enthralled, we poured it into our special glasses reserved for only prized libations. it had a rich brown colour, my spine tingled expected a sweet brown ale or maybe a a hoppy hybrid....the end result.......the first sip gave me heart burn, and set my gut to churning. My other half dumped her glass down the sink and ran to the bathroom where she used half a tube of tooth paste I took a deep breath and tried it again. It was like getting punched in the throat by a very strong and angry midget The third attempt nearly brought second breakfast and first lunch back up and all over the kitchen....it was like drinking liquid smoke and instant coffee..... Several bottles of cider and a six pack of IPA could not erase the memory of that horror from my mouth, by midnight I was drinking makers to kill it.....I dreamt of open sewers, sweaty buttonholes and Iraqi fountains.... I learned my lesson, dont fuck with nature, bacon is better left in its purest form.....on a plate at Beths cafe, not in bottles. Learn from my example and leave that evil alone |
| Nothing can erase the memory of a childhood attempt to drink diet chocolate soda. Initially it doesn't sound all that bad, but fizzy, saccharine laced mockerys at chocolate are not permitted in some country's and should be outlawed in ours as well! My first try at bb gun skeet shooting was done in an effort to rid the world of that horrid 6 pack..... |
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Quoted:
I couldnt believe it, standing there in the hippie co op - Yes I go there- looking at a bottle of bacon, maple voodoo doughnut beer....oh shit can such a thing be possible? three wonderful- and critical- elements of life in one bottle. I took it home, along with a bottle of Pliny the elder....still having a hard time beleiving such a thing possible. my other half was just as enthralled, we poured it into our special glasses reserved for only prized libations. it had a rich brown colour, my spine tingled expected a sweet brown ale or maybe a a hoppy hybrid....the end result.......the first sip gave me heart burn, and set my gut to churning. My other half dumped her glass down the sink and ran to the bathroom where she used half a tube of tooth paste I took a deep breath and tried it again. It was like getting punched in the throat by a very strong and angry midget The third attempt nearly brought second breakfast and first lunch back up and all over the kitchen....it was like drinking liquid smoke and instant coffee..... Several bottles of cider and a six pack of IPA could not erase the memory of that horror from my mouth, by midnight I was drinking makers to kill it.....I dreamt of open sewers, sweaty buttonholes and Iraqi fountains.... I learned my lesson, dont fuck with nature, bacon is better left in its purest form.....on a plate at Beths cafe, not in bottles. Learn from my example and leave that evil alone A real man would have backed it with a shot of Bakon. Pfft. Okay... I have a bottle of Voodoo Donut at home, and am not dumb enough to actually drink that sludge. |
