Posted: 4/8/2007 5:40:24 AM EDT
I'm looking for some patience.  My son turned 15 in January. We signed him up for the 911 driving school which he completed. Next step is for him to get 50 hrs of daytime driving and 10 hrs of nighttime driving before he can get his license next year. (No problem with the time frame) Every time the wife takes our son out driving they come back on "less than happy terms". She pretty much gave up. So now I'm tasked with the full-time effort of teaching him. I don't remember it being this difficult for me when I started. Heck, I was stealing my dads pick-up truck and cruising around with the neighbor girl when I was 15.  Seems I'm getting impatient with our son as he makes the same mistakes over and over. I got pissed at him yesterday and literally "went-off" with full blown "what the "F" are you doing comments. I felt like shit the rest of the day for yelling at him and I need to find some patience and allow him to learn. Maybe listening to other similar hometown stories will put my mind at ease.  Thanks for listening for my cry for HELP! Happy Easter |
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I grew up in an area where we had field cars to drive. I pretty much learned on my own where running into a tree or another friend's field car was a great learning tool for judging distances, etc. When I did drive my parents around on the street though my father would bitch at me for going too slow and my mother would bitch at me for going too fast. I think they both forgot they were driving a long time while I hadn't been. After a while I wouldn't drive my mom anywhere unless she sat in the back seat. Those nails in the dash would make me nervous too. I cured my dad by just lighting up the tires a few times. I think he eventually realized I would drive at my own comfortable speed and he would deal with it if he actually wanted me to drive him somewhere. I have no kids and can't give advice at that level. I will make a suggestion though. When you are riding with your son and he does make a mistake, no matter how many times he's made that same one, instead of telling him what he did wrong just say something like "you just made an error, what was it?" Make *him* have to concentrate on learning what he is doing wrong. Even though you've bitched at him just let him know that you *have* been driving a while and things you don't even have to really think about any more you know he has to learn. He'll be ok. We all know that parents are made for bitching. 
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Well, I've got at least 10 years before I have to teach my boys how to drive. By then the .gov will have mandated self-driving cars, so that won't be a problem Maybe he's not ready? I didn't get my license until I was 18, and am probably better off for it. I took drivers ed in school and drove with my parents off and on for the next 2 years. I still flunked the driving part the first time (still can't parallel park to save my life!), but I was mature enough not to get into a wreck my first time driving by myself (unlike alot of my friends who got their licenses at 16). I'm not sure what 'driving schools' do these days, but if I paid someone good money to teach my kid to drive and he couldn't, I'd want a refund. Washington also has a bunch of new laws relating to when < 18 can driver and who can be in the car with them -- all good ideas IMHO. If you're losing your temper with him then its probably time to back off and start with simpler driving tasks, building up to longer trips. Remember the way to learn to shoot is to start at 5 yards, shoot till the whole mag is in the 10 ring, back up 5 yards and repeat. Don't quit though. Driving is a learned motor skill, and the more practice he gets the better he will get. Eventually 
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The state driving schools give much more classroom time than actual behind the wheel time. I think they prepare the kids for the written more than the actual driving part. They offer 3 levels of the course. Lowest level provides classroom time and 4 hrs drive time with an instructor. Middle level provides same classroom but 6 hrs of driving. Highest level provides 8 hrs driving. I've had my son out at least 15 times driving. (This is in my extended cab pick-up truck with a canopy. He likes it better than the wife’s convertible as he thinks mom's car sets too low) Yesterday we did highway driving. Scenario: I asked him to change lanes. (Right lane was changing to exit only) He puts on turn signal, looks in mirror, see's car beside us, proceeds to run driver out of their lane.  Before he actually ran them off I mentioned he was about to run another car off the road. He says, I seen him there but thought he was farther back. He's really good at applying brakes at the last minute. Me and the passenger side windshield are getting real close.  Turns, from the stopped position, are generally made with the pedal in the same position as a drag racer in final elimination. The new tires I put on last year got scuff marks on all of them but one tire. He takes turn a bit narrow. When backing out of a parking spot I didn't realize you were supposed to crank the wheel several times in one direction before moving.  We did a few days of parking lot training well before he ever hit the streets. Deep down inside I know he's getting better but I just need to relax a bit. Thanks for the comments. |
| I think pickups would be great for learning in. The canopy however might cause a little bit of blind spot/distance judgement error. If it isn't too hard to remove I think I'd take it off for a little while to let him have better visibility for lane changing, etc. |
Big +1 My dirt bike and 4 wheeler taught me to use a manual transmission too. |
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Commonsense and smarts are two different things. Our son just turned 15 and is very smart but IMHO does not have enough commonsense to save his life. I don't take him out on jobs because its just to dangerous for him, me, and any one around. Some kids just don't have good motor skills, and if you put them in a situation they could get them selves or innocent by standers hurt. Something to think about. |
That a big part of learning anything, take the pressure off so the "learner" is as comfortable as possible with no pressure, if you can find a very rural area with no traffic it might help alot. I steered my first CATIPILLAR 2 TON at 4 years old and mowed the lawn with a riding mower at that age, growing up driving tracters and trucks but the very first time in a brand new D-9 CAT pushing pit run to loaders I had a hard time of it because I was under a lot of pressure, and so it goes with just about any new learning experience, slow is smooth, smooth is fast
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Howdy BMG. We've had a new puppy around the house for a few months now, so I can totally understand your desire to scream and shout and curse. If you're still soliciting advice, I'd suggest making him drive the girly car, rather than the truck. With the top down, it'd be hard to beat the visibility, and it'd be a lot easier than popping your canopy off. Plus, what with being low to the ground and small, he'd feel more vulnerable. I don't know about you, but I pay a lot more attention when I feel like I might be killed at any moment. My wife still doesn't have her license. Her old man left right at that time when it's time to teach your kids to drive. Started her out in lessons in my manual tranny fj60, and it was just too much vehicle for her. She couldn't ever quite relax enough to learn. We got a little wagon with an automatic, and it's been much easier going. She's even taken it out a few times without me! Main thing is man, just don't beat yourself up too much. If he's 15, they'll be at least a few more times where you'll feel like yelling before he's out of the house. About all you can do is crack a cold one, take a few deep breathes, and resolve to try it again the next day. Good luck with it man. I'll be pulling for you. |
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I could not wait to legaly drive. I had been taking my Suzuki SP100 and riding it around the city and the river bottoms in Orange when I was 14. My dad had been letting me drive his car out on the dry lakebed since I was 11. I was a student of all drivers whenever I was in a car. By the time I was 15 1/2 I knew how to drive. SoCal freeways didn't scare me.  However, I used to drive my mom and dad up the wall because I was too much like your typical SoCal freeway driver of the late 70's. My biggest problem was speed limits. From when I got my liscense at 15 1/2 till the time I was 18 I received 21 "good driving awards" from various SoCal police agencies. After I turned 18 and had to start paying for the tickets, after a couple court apperances and after a very nice judge consolidated all of the tickets into a very large fine (for 1979) and gave me the maximum number of driving record points allowed by California and let me keep my liscense I spent the next two years paying off the fine and changed my driving habbits. The biggest things I did were to obey the speed limits in town, stop at every stop light and stop sign and to use my turn signal everytime I made a turn. Haven't had a "ticket" in almost 25 years. What kind of mistakes is he making? Stupid mistakes? This is how a friend got his thick-headed son to figure out how to drive. He had a friend of his, a CHP, sit in the car with him and his son and evaluated the boys driving. The CHP didn't say anything, but at the end of a 15 minute drive had written him a list of items he could have gotten a ticket for. I think it was 4 or 5. A few days later the CHP took his son out alone and gave him another driving evaluation, came up with another list with probably the same items. The kids father then told his boy that each "infraction" was going to cost him $25, and in order to get a drivers liscense he would have to pay the fine and pass another evaluation by the CHP. I think he finally got his liscense when he was 17.
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I already started teaching my son how to drive. He's 10. The reason for this is that I want to get the solid basics driven into his head BEFORE his hormones kick in and he starts thinking with his dick all the time instead of his brain. And by basics, I don't just mean the actual act of driving a vehicle, but also traffic laws, right of way, how to merge like a human being instead of a fucking asshole zombie, common courtesy, etc, etc, etc. Sure, he won't see an actual street for some years, but if I get the good stuff pounded into his thick little skull now, I won't have to fight his teenage bullheadedness and hormones in the future just to get the basics into his head. But then again, I took him shooting his first time when he was 5 because he proved that he could be safe with firearms by that age, and he was also able to not just tell me what the basic firearms safety rules were, but he could explain in his own words what they meant as well, not just babble off some crap that he memorized. Gotta start young with just about everything. I know that dosn't help you much now that your son is already 15, but if there are any younger siblings, get them started sooner rather then later. |
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I got it perty good when my dad decided it was a good idea to teach me how to drive a standard in our little econo-box. The next day my mom took me out in the Jeep, it was a breeze learning in something with some torque and a little bit of gearing... I to this day cant realy paralel park... 
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My older brother taught me. By the time dad found out it was a done deal. On the parallel parking thing, my wife never could. I took her outside and walked her through it once. Stood outside the car while she did what I told her, and created a monster. Now she is not afraid to go into downtown Seattle and shop! Screwed myself on that one. |
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Thanks for all the comments and advise guys. RS_Coyote, I think our son's are similar. My son is a straight A student with a 4.0 GPA and a member of the National Honor Society. He's very intelligent but lacks in the common sense and Life Skills department. I took him out driving today. Made it almost the entire trip without raising my voice. Only once when he was going a bit too fast into a red light. He did one of the stops that catapult you forward and slam your head back against the headrest. Oh wait...what's that???? Hmmmm....It's my Gin and Tonic calling me. Now I'm relaxed.  |
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It took 9 years for my wife to finally get a license. I realized after trying to teach her for a while, that I too was making her nervous by raising my voice. So we talked about it and decided that it was best if I did not teach her. She then started having her girlfriends drive with her. I know scary thought..... Anyway she was more relaxed with them. Less pressure I guess. Do you have any family friends that might be able to help out? After she became comfortable driving, I started having her drive me home from PCR-00's on Friday nights. It wasn't too long after we started doing that and she had her license. Now she drives all by herself and I get to sleep in on the weekends.
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This might not sound like a good idea at first.... but if you don't already have one, go out and buy a Playstation 2 (they aren't very expensive now), a copy of Gran Turismo 4, and a steering wheel to go with it. Nothing can beat real-world experience, but this will certainly help with hand-eye coordination. It might sound totally ridiculous, but Gran Turismo 4 has very realistic physics and is technically a driving simulator. Unless your car is 2004 or newer, they probably have it in the game. Buy the stock model, put it on a road-course with no other cars to compete against, and make him drive. |
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My youngest is 4 going on 5, he drives the riding lawn mower. He has gotten to where he likes it so much that I let him have the wheel of my truck on our dirtroad driveway ( Its private property) and he can pull into the driveway, and make all of the turns. My daughter (6) likes to run the lawn mower, but is scared to "drive" the truck. I learned how to drive in a 1965 cheverolet Pickup when I got a job at the Monroe Golf and Country Club at 14. We had those little cushmans that we drag raced, and drove that old pickup around the golf course setting sprinklers up between midnight and six a.m. during the summer. |
and our 15 yo just a could weeks ago was mowing on the riding mower and mowed over some clearly marked shrubs in a planter 16" off the lawn.  
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