Posted: 9/2/2008 7:28:22 AM EDT
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A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag. The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 9 inches high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful Piece by Mozart! 'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.' So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. " I will grant you one wish.. Just one wish... each person is only allowed one!' The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I want A million bucks!' A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they just keep coming, duck after duck after duck! The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think your Genie's' a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million Ducks.' 'No shit!!' says the man, 'do you really think I asked for a 9 inch pianist?' -------------------------------------------------------------------- Naughty Riddles Q.What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A: A cherry float. Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? A: 1 US leader Q: What did the sign on the whorehouse door say? A: Beat it - we're closed. Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties? A: To find a tight seal. ! Q: What's the difference between sin and shame? A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out. Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68. At 69 you have to turn around. Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box? A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!" Q: What's another name for pickled bread? A: Dill-dough. Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy? A: She's withholding evidence. Q: What's the difference between light and hard? A: You can sleep with a light on. Q: What's the definition of macho? A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy. Q: What do a Christmas tre! E and a priest have in common? A: Their balls are just for decoration. |