Quoted: its for carrying. I was looking at the ported to reduce recoil as my wife would be getting one as well and she dislikes recoil. i know there will be some flash but other then that what are the cons?
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if its for your wife then I would go with something a little more recoil friendly and not a ported gun. esp for any self defense reasons. other cons are, Ported guns are loud as hell and would cuase permenant hearing damage if shot indoors for sure. The flash is very overwhelming in low light cond. They tend to trhow trash out of the ports that can hit you in the eyes. The front sight will be hard to keep clean and you can forget about night sights. You can easily catch things on fire with a ported gun when used for protection like loose clothing, curtains, or anything flamable near the muzzle. You loose velocity. It really doesnt reduce the recoil much to make it worth while compared to the all the cons.
My mom is a small girly girl woman and she can handle my xd40 no problem, the XD357 is a tid bit snappier and I have no doubt she couls shoot it. I have let several toung teenage boys shoot my xd357 with no issues also.
IMO go for something else for your intentions. XD357 is an excelent carry choice but not one in a v-10 noor for someone that dislikes recoil. Get her some time on the range with several different ones before you bite.