OK, lets see if I can get my thoughts in order...yeah, I didn't think I could, so I will ramble instead
I carry a Ruger SP101, .357 Magnum with a Hogue. I like the feel of the Ruger with the Hogue grip (And the stock grip wasn't bad either). It is a little heavier than other snubbies, but it will hold up to firing the Magnum loads better. I carry it in an "Inside The Pant" holster, and it does n't show (But I have a large framed body and that helps to hide it). The newer versions of the SP101 (In all calibers, I beleieve) are hammer-less, which allows for a better concealed carry, and easier to draw.
My Advice -
* If you only intend to fire .38, don't buy the .357
* Carry what is comfortable, and what you can fire easily and accurately.
* 5 rounds is fine for self defense. With a .357, the rounds that hit will really be effective, and the BOOM of the ones that miss will scare off any half-hearted criminals.
Keep in mind, I have medium sized hands, and with the stock grip, it would have fit in my hand with almost nothing showing
http://www.geocities.com/fatmantpk/HPIM0910.JPG