Posted: 11/28/2005 10:55:08 PM EDT
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Any SPs out there? 81152 1987-91 12th SPS Randolph AFB TX 12th SPS |
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+1 on the augmentee duty some of the coolest motherfuckers i've met in the air force were SP's. Some of the biggest blowhards too! Glad I don't have your guys job. Probably the most "military" group of motherfuckers I've met, and that includes Army bases and Air Forces bases that I grew up on. ETA: here at offutt it seems like the SP's get in trouble more then anybody. Probably due to the fact that they are ridden so hard. Thanks for what you guys do! |
That and they get in trouble for things like "falling asleep on duty", while on the line that's known as "waiting for the jet to land." |
Big -1 for the augmentee duty.  When I got shafted into that detail, I got stuck with 2 top-shelf choads: one was a bag-o-donuts high-tenure SSgt who wouldn't STFU the entire time we sat in the truck on the flightline; the other was a bag-o-donuts A1C who told me he went to Airborne school at Ft. Bragg, but "didn't feel like wearing his wings." I asked him if he meant Ft. Benning, and he said "nope, it was a special program at Bragg that only a few of us were able to go to." mmmkay. |
Not an SP, but I played one after 9-11. My ANG station needed security troops PDQ. Being fresh out of the Navy with plenty of force protection experience on a guided-missile frigate, I was hired on the spot. It's a rough, cold, wet and sometimes thankless job and I have great respect for those who sign up for it on purpose. Except CATM guys. . . those lucky bastards get to play with all the cool toys under the guise of "we're training you".
Sounds like this young Airman needs education.
With a little bit pf paperwork, you either catch him in a lie or you make him impersonate a paratrooper. Either way, he officially looks like the dumbshit he is. Good thing my four days of Petty Officer Indoctrination nine years ago geared me to be the swell NCO I am today. 
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LOL. I was mostly amused by his claim that he'd gone through a "special" Airborne school at Ft. Bragg. (The only schools I know of which award the Parachutist's badge are Ft. Benning & the USAF academy in CO.) (If Bragg DOES have a "special" Airborne school, I sit corrected.  ) |
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I was a Crew Chief, not an SP, but here's a chance to throw out a story. I was stationed at McGuire my first term. I was working grave shift on the flightline and left my line badge in my dorm room. It was the middle of winter, so I wasn't about to hoof it back over to the dorm to get it. I just figured I'd ride out in the metro and stay on the airplane. Low profile. That was fine until the end of the shift. The truck wasn't coming to pick us up, so my two coworkers and I picked up our tool boxes and started walking in. It was COLD! The wind was blowing pretty good. As we're walking to the ECP, I see a, SP truck coming our way. I start walking faster to try to get off the line before he got to me. However, he intercepted me and asked me for my line badge. I just looked at him and said, "I'm busted!" and told him about leaving it in the dorm. He said, "Put your tool box in the back of the truck and get in." I did (the cab of his truck was nice and warm!). My buddies were laughing at me for getting jacked up without my line badge, having a mountain of entertainment at my expense. The cop said, "It's too cold to walk", and dropped me off at the tool crib!  I don't think that would have happened at my next base, which was a SAC operation!
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Sure there's a 'special' jump school, they use the short yellow C130. Back in the 1980's I heard of officers geting 'paper' wings at Ft. Bragg or in Germany. They were second class wings and no self respecting paratrooper wanted them.
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Has the name changed back to SP again or is it still SF for SEcurity Forces? I worked pretty closely with some K9 handlers, but they are a bit different since K9 handlers from all branches also work for the DoD as well as their own branches and can be sent anywhere. It just happened that all but one of the two sets of K9 officers we had were Air Force. One when we first got there was Navy, and the Kennel Master was Army. I didn't get to know many of the regular cops, either set (yeah, I'm jealous of the 6 month deployments the AF has). A few were pretty cool though, and a fairly hot A1C. Well, she probably seemed a bit hotter in the desert than back in the US, but whatever. |
| Im an SF E5 out of Nellis AFB. Im currently on deployment to Kyrgyzstan where I work out at the S4 shop. Im primarily law enforcement. Im on my thrid deployment in three years. Ive been to Saudi, Kuwait, and then branched out doing fly away security missions all over the Arabian pennisula. Iraq was a real garden spot. Ive been a mortar man and Mk-19 gunner. That was a hoot. Other than that Ive done normal cop stuff. I have two more years until I punch out. |
Shit, the SPs I saw get in trouble did so for stuff like punching an LT while drunk and naked after throwing a fire extinguisher thru the window of their dorm room or attempting to run over a guy they got in argument with the night before when they see him leaving the NCO club. I know that at Incirlik, we had double the number of Art. 15's of the next worst squadron every month during my tour. I was a 3P051, Incirlik '97-'98, "Langley" (I guess my shit was there) '98-'00. I deployed out the ass while I was at Langley. Just ran across this tonight: You know you're an SP when- You have been arrested You have been divorced… Your squadron leadership has never worked on flight Augmentees are telling SF how to do the job Dependents are telling SF how to do the job Civilians are telling SF how to do the job You had to catch a stray animal You speed on base because you know where patrols sit and don’t sit You don’t know half the peoples names on flight You don’t know what a 6 hour work day feels like You think you are highspeed cause you work on the desk You think that you are needed at work You have the taste of dip when you wake up in the morning You find yourself listening to more and more country music You know that getting a promotion to “BACK OFFICE” is a nice way of being fired…flight chiefs, you know who you are You thank god for caller I.D. for those awesome SFCC calls on your DAY OFF, or as some flight chiefs put it, “A PROVISIONAL PASS, VIA AF INSTRUCTIONS” You are briefed that NOBODY MADE YOU SIGN UP FOR THE MILITARY…thanks All the decent females go to Day shift People have been in 15 years and still getting out of the military and/or career field You are told and imbedded with INTEGRITY FIRST, but have to bend the rules for anybody remotely important in your squadron and on base You think that you could just clep a few classes and you’ll have your CCAF DAY SHIFT thinks they are actually needed You know that you could cut at least 5 post You know the post briefing for the North ECP, you know how to function check a M240 and you know the caliber of bullet your helmet and vest can withstand. But you have a problem remembering when is your spouse's birthday. You are afraid of touching anything in the gate shack Your bloodstream is 30% coffee, 70% mountain dew You have been to life skills/mental health at least 4 times You have wrecked a patrol car You are only an A1C yet you've seen more action than your flight chief who spent 18 out of 20 years in back office or at a special duty assignment You think you can get out and get straight into a civilian police dept You been at your base for 3 years but everyone thinks you are new because you've been deployed for 2. You have pissed on the flight line You have quoted the movie Super Troopers You have had an STD, don’t fucking lie. YOU WORK A 4 2 SCHEDULE WHEN BACK OFFICE IS (SUPPOSEDLY) IN A 6 IN 1 8’S!!! ALL THE FEMALES ON FLIGHT ARE PREGNANT BURGER KING IS A MAJOR FOOD GROUP BACK OFFICE IS NEVER IN THE OFFICE!!!! YOU’VE BEEN WATCHING THE SAME UXO AND SELF AID BUDDY CARE FRIGGIN VHS TAPE FOR THE LAST 10 FRIGGIN YEARS!!! VOLUNTOLD IS AN ACTUAL WORD? YOU REFER TO YOURSELF AS A COP! YOU TRAIN FOR THE DESERT IN THE WOODS!? YOU TRAIN FOR THE WOODS IN THE DESERT?! YOU SIGN OFF ON STUFF YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW THE MOST INCOMPETENT PEOPLE ARE IN THE MOST CRITICAL POSITIONS YOU WONDER WHAT THE REAL AIR FORCE IS LIKE THE DUMBEST IDIOTS SEEM TO HAVE ALL THE INFO ON THE MOST USELESS INFORMATION YOU END A SENTENCE WITH “ROGER THAT” YOU KNOW ACRONYMS BETTER THAN THE ALPHABET YOUR WIFE IS CALLED “OFF DUTY SUPERVISOR” (WHAT?) EVERY SENIOR IS DISGRUNTLED BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T MAKE CHIEF YOU WEAR YOUR SHARPEST UNIFORM TO PARTICIPATE IN AN EXERCISE YOU SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOUR FLIGHT THAN YOU DO WITH YOUR OWN FAMILY EVERYONE HAS A LIFE STORY TO TELL YOU IN A SHIFT! THE WORD’S “GUARDMOUNT BROKE” IS LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY THE SHARPEST TROOP ISN'T THE ONE WHO KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT THE JOB, IT IS THE ONE WHO HAS THE MOST STARCH IN THEIR UNIFORM. EVERYTHING IS THE OTHER SHIFT'S FAULT(DAYS BLAMES NIGHTS, NIGHTS BLAME DAYS) A 12 HR SHIFT IS ACTUALLY 16 You can light a cigarette using only a radio battery and a paper clip. You've ever drilled a hole in your gas mask so you can smoke during an excercise. You've ever disassembled the dash in your vehicle and then put it back together just to have something to do. You're convinced you're the greatest spades player who ever walked the earth. You not only know how to play spades three or two handed, but when someone asks you to play regular spades you launch into a three-minute recitation of the rules YOU play and get pissy if someone else wants to play it differently. You've ever gone shopping at the BX dead drunk at 11 am on a Tuesday. You've ever sat in your patrol car behind the 15mph sign in base housing with your beret in your hand folded into the shape of a gun and a mean look on your face because every radar unit in the squadron is broken. |
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Scott AFB, IL 95-98 Thule Greenland in 98 Funny story time: I was working in the armory in 97. We stored all of our high explosives (claymores, HE grenades, etc) at Little Rock AFB, AR. Every 6 mos - 1 year we had to go down and do a "munitions inspection" to make sure no one had stolen our shat. I was lucky enough to go once. Myself and the NCOIC of the armory went down, got our base hotel room, and proceeded to get completely shit-faced. At about 10, he passed out, and I stayed up doing nothing. About midnight, I was really bored, and still in uniform. I decided (very stupidly) to go for a walk around base (still drunk). After about 30 minutes, I found the SF squadron building, and walked in to talk to the desk sgt. I'm pretty good at passing myself off as sober when I'm not. I told the guy that I was from Scott AFB doing a munitions inspection, and was wondering if I could do a ride-along because I was bored. He misunderstood a little, and seeing my inspectors tag on my BDU's, thought I was doing a surprise inspection of the base SF. Like I said, this was really stupid, but I was 21 and dumb. He handed me the keys to a patrol car, gave me a base map, and marked the locations of the manned gates, and flightline security points. He asked if I wanted the troops to know I was coming, and I said "sure". So, still buzzed, and more than a little red-eyed, I proceeded to entertain myself by going to each of the gates, and flightline security vehicles. Each of them stood at attention, gave their post briefings, and answered my humorously serious questions about their security and problems with their squadron. At 0400, I turned the car in to the desk sgt, told him to have a good shift, and that the inspection had gone off very well. The next day, we did our munitions inspection and went back to Scott. I didn't tell anyone about it until I got out, as it was really a moronic thing to do, but was absolutely hilarious. |
81150-81172 1977-1988 Glad to see some things never change. 
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Roger that METT-T. Retired 811X0 here and I still have never really fit into society. I always want to stay awake while I'm sleeping, listen to late night radio, and am going crazy living in one place for so long. My wife and children won't walk up behind me. If I ever told her (second wife) how much booze I drank (I am reformed) and how many women I've been with (reformed here too), she would divorce me. I am seriously thinking about opening a coffee shop. I am very good at making coffee and playing spades. hought |
Ditto
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