Posted: 9/26/2007 3:28:40 AM EDT
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So I'm at work yesterday and just left the prison on an escort. One of our new CO's is working the main gate and after 4pm all the calls to the prison get redirected to there. It's time top have some fun so I get the cell phone out and call. She answers the phone "hello..****** institution". I change my voice a bit and say "ya..my names Mark Johnson and the cops got a warrant for my arrest. My parole officer told me to turn myself in to prison. Is there anyone there that can look after me?" Her "Uhh..just a minute please" and puts me on hold. I'm thinking..damn she's gonna transfer me through to the on duty supervisor..who would tell me to fuck off and get back to work!  Instead she transfers me to the officer in our communication control post. by this time my partner has just about bit his lip through from trying not to laugh. Him..(really polite and concerned sounding) "hello..where are you now?" Me.."I'm on the fucking highway". I'm talking in my normal voice now too... Him.."okay, well just turn off when you get to the exit and come out to the prison. We can look after you". Me.."why the hell would I do that? I just left the damn prison" My partner burst out laughing at this point... Him.."Just left the prison...long pause...YOU ASSHOLE...**click**  |
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I got a paniked call from a police officer who is a friend of mine who told me he had been involved in a shoot out and chase that took him over the Thousands Islands Bridge (he worked near there) and that the RCMP was taking him into custody. I eventually caught on from the giggles in the background that I was on speaker phone at the stationhouse. Har har.  |
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Worked a major accident. I asked my partener (who was my FTO when I started) to do a follow up investigation at the E.R. He called me after the scene was clear and said "dude........did you drop paint?" me: "ugh no she had a cut elbow, its not life threatening injuries so there is no need for paint and measuring." him: "she died at the E.R." Me: "yay right" him: "no really" me: "for real?" him: "yeah for real! You better get those measurements!" me: "oh shit this is baaaaad!" ***Pucker factor*** him: "just kidding man" me: "ass hole! I physically had to sit down for this you wigged me out!" Few months lator similar thing happened. Only this time the guy really did die and luckly for me the car wasnt towed off yet so we were able to measure the scene. Turned out guy died of natural causes but that was determined my the M.E.'s office a month after the crash. My partener pulled the same thing as above and it took him and a supervisor about 30 minutes to get me to believe them.
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Last sunday one of our FF's (the engineer on the BRT) was BBQing burgers for the shift. We had the grill at the engine door, and there was heavy gray smoke pushing inside the station. The ambulance crew was out on another call, leaving 3 of us in the house. After I got done surfing ARFCOM  I stepped out of the computer room and saw the smoke filling the bay. Walked into the Shift Commander's office and told the acting (my old S/C) not to answer the alarm line (our hotline to dispatch).  Mmmmkay....I walked towards the radio room that overlooks the bay and made sure Jane was still grilling. She was. I picked up my cell and called the alarm line. "BWAAAAAH!!!" "BWAAAAAH!!!" I run in and grab the phone. As I pretend to write down the info, I glance up and notice she's turning off the grill. I hang up and head for the bay "C'mon partner... go to work time" "Whaddawe got?" "Smoke showing, 1234 Main Street....south side of the building" "OK" as she's heading for the driver's seat. I stop and look at her. "Smoke showing, 1234 Main Street....south side of the building" "Yeah, I got it" she says, pulling her duty boots off. "Jane..." "Yeah?" 1234 Main street..." Blank stare... South side of the building..." Blank stare... The Fire Department..." Starting to come around... What's the address here?"   "YOU ASSHOLE"  Needless to say, she was laughing about it in a few minutes, but that "deer in headlights" look as she realized the address was priceless.  |
