Posted: 7/29/2005 3:15:30 AM EDT
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I'm going to make this intentionally vague due to the content. Got a good friend, works for a larger agency to my north. He got in a shooting awhile back, it was pretty hairy but he came out on top. Him against a carload of gangsters. He killed two, left the rest on the ground by the time backup arrived. He's now being processed out of his agency, he says they're "getting rid" of all the ones who have had LID shoots bc of some innate PCness in the agency. I know of the other ones and they are already gone. He's done a couple of loopy things (nothing stupid, criminal, or unethical) in his time there (he's a lateral from another big city agency) and the mucks are using those as grounds to dismiss him, prove he's unsuitable due to PTSD. We've got that last part in common, one reason we can talk to each other so truthfully. Anyway, since he heard he's getting the chop (he's fought it and fought it) everytime he calls he's drunk. He sounds like someone ran over his dog and swears he'll never get near LE work again even tho that's all he's done since high school. He's a good cat, I worry about him eating his gun. He's got a wife (who I think is getting real tired of this) and some kids. I've never been a cop, I grew up with LE, was raised by LE, used to want to be LE but I don't know how to handle this. My approach has always been to let people find their own way and if they want to check out then it's their decision. I don't see any shame in wanting to die well. FWIW, he's never ideated any such desire. Is there anything I can do for him? My current sked puts me off of seeing him since he's days and I'm nights. Anything I can say or just sit back, let it play out, and hope for the best? |
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He bro, that’s a tuff one. There is really no good answer but you need to try and spend as much time around him as possible. If you need to talk to the wife to get the scoop and can without causing problems then do so. He needs to get back into the saddle somewhere fast! Needs to either get back in were he is or get to another department ASAP for a change. I think there are a lot of departments that would value a good officer with experience and real life experience at that. He obviously has what it takes to live at this job now all you need to do is find out what it is going to take to help him live with this job. OIS are a bad deal for everyone and when it happens they need the full support of their department to make it through it. Sounds like he is in a dangerous spot with the bullshit department he is with. After that even if it only happened to a fellow Officer I would be looking for a new place to work. Keep us posted and I am sure most if not all of us on here will do all we can to help. |
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Might wanna first get him to give up alcohol for a while. That may allow him to see things more clearly and better plan for his future. Things often look far worse from the bottom of a bottle. After that, helping to focus him on the possitive things he's done and more importantly, the positive things still left to be done in his life. Lastly, if he is at all religous, perhaps suggest he meets with his clergy member. Sadly, if he is on a self destructive spiral, it is very difficult to get him off unless he wants to. I wish you good luck. Regards, Gary |
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Steer him towards an EAP (Emplyee Assistance Program) - hell, if they're trying to oust him for PTSD, he should be eligible for a duty-related disability pension. At least it's some $$ for house / car / food. +1 for cutting down on the  - I fully understand the concept of gettin' blotto for a while, but he'll need a clear head to navigate this course successfully.Good luck to him, and you. You sound like a good pal. |
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+2 on getting him off the sauce. Nothing good will come of trying to drink his troubles away. And if the word gets around that he tries to crawl into a bottle when things get too stressful, he'll have a tough time finding any kind of responsible job, much less get on with another agency. That's one of the problems with large agencies: the troops are just numbers to the brass. The brass all tend to think they're flowers, and want to use the troops for fertilizer. Tell him to start looking around at smaller agencies, where his experience will work for him, not against him. In a small town/county, his training & experience will make him a much more desirable applicant than a rookie just out of school. If you think he needs some help with his problems, contact the FOP or PBA in his area, or the union if his agency is unionized. For sure, they will know someone he can get help and advice from, who will be interested in HIM, not the agency. Good luck to him....and thanks, Tweak, for trying to look out for him. |
Thanks for the advice folks, on the subject of the sauce, I dunno if he's staying on it or just happens to call me when he is. I ain't got no claim to fame on drunk dialing  I'll check with his missus, feels a little strange (going behind his back) but you're right, she's probably on top of it. The disability bit is in the works IIRC but it's up in the air since he is being terminted "for cause". I'm still trying to work that part out, our conversations seem to ramble around a bit. thanks again |
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He needs to get documented proof he is suffering from PTSD. That is the only way he will be able to fight whatever bullshit reason they put down for "cause". Tweak..having been off with PTSD myself..I know all the highs and lows you go through. Having a friend like you would have made a world of difference. don't give up on him. |
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yeah we tend to cushion the other's ups and downs. he called today, more to check on my sitch than anything else since he knew I was up to ears in the VA and was wondering about the outcome (I told them to shove it was the outcome) He's doing a 180, looking at a totally non LE city job, even getting away from guns and training following the advice of his shrink (state .gov supplied) he's not drinking. He's taking (so far) a medical discharge. combined with his insurance he says he's good. Getting heavily into the church and volunteer work. keeping busy sounds like. He told me I need to do the same (get away from guns and such) I told him you can't hide from who you are. In my case I have to learn to deal with me as I am. He sounded a lot better. FWIW, the union has been all over his case and of great assistance as have labor and industries and unemployment. thanks all for the kind words. I'll keep and eye on him nevertheless, this crap is insidious. |
