[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Radio Slip-Ups? (Page 1 of 3)
Posted: 4/23/2011 1:58:49 AM EDT
|
It occurred to me a few days ago that I had managed to go through my meager career without saying anything colossally idiotic on the radio. After my shift yesterday I can no longer say that.
What I meant to say was: "I'll be checking on a male on ANGEL street" What I actually said was: "I'll be checking on a male on ANAL....errr....angel street" 
Anyone else have a good one to share? |
|
I can't really think of anything I've said really stupid on the radio, but I recently heard a tape of a stolen vehicle dispo: Deputy: County, complainant advises it was his girlfriend of two weeks that he met on facebook. He doesn't know her phone number or address. Can you look up a Ginger Bread County side and see if we have any information on her? Dispatcher: ummm...10-9 (repeat) that name please? Deputy: Yeah, I just realized that's probably not her real name huh? Second one: Dispatcher: County, 141 go to _______ for a report of a vehicle whipping shittiiiii erm doing doughnuts in the parking lot. County, what were they doing?  |
| Every agency in my county uses the same radios and they all go through the same dispatch center. A couple years ago before we got new radios our old ones were prone to keying up but wouldn't transmit when you would push to transmit then they would for a few seconds when you let go of the button. Dispatch was trying to get a hold of an officer and his radio would key up but nothing was coming across. After 3 or 4 tries of dispatch saying 10-9 all of a sudden everyone in the county heard "goddamn piece of shit fucking radios" then dead silence. Followed by dispatch's response, "10-4." IIRC he didn't get in trouble because even the brass knew how much the radios sucked. |
|
One time I was on a traffic stop with a whole bunch of dopers. Great car to stop and I was gonna search it and find the dope and take everyone to jail. I also had a trainee with me so of course, I was hoping for a good case to show the trainee how it was done.
Just before I got the ball rolling on the stop, I got dispatched to a fight in progress with knives and ball bats (that's what came in). I keyed up the radio to say something but what came out was a very irritated "Shit". Guess it came across clear as day. Another officer was running to the call hot and was laughing so hard that he hit a deep dip in the road and bottomed out his car. So, I let the dopers go and went to the call. Of course, there were no knives or ball bats. Just a bunch of drunk rednecks acting retarted. |
|
I seem to remember an officer telling dispatch that they needed a back because, "this guy's looking at me like I have a dick growing out of my forehead."
We had a female officer tell us that report of suspicious activity was actually, "the boys are just playing with their balls." Oh, I heard a tape out of California where a local dispatcher was telling her deputies that CHP was working a rollover with ejaculations! Great tape. They ask her something like, "what kind of rollover?' She keyed up and there was all kinds of laughter in the background, and she got it right the second time. Oh yeah, at shift change one day, the off-going Sgt asked what one of the oncoming deputies was doing. He was told, "he is doing a horse, bleeding from the anus." I think she meant to say he's working a report of possible animal cuelty. A medic unit headed to "Golden Living," retirement home checked out at "Golden Showers." A fire district once hailed themselves, and answered. "FD6 to FD6.' "This is FD6, go ahead." |
| One of our officers received a call to respond to "a car hung up on a guard rail". Due to the distance between the RO and the location of the vehicle in question, it took a while for the RO to arrive. RO arrives and advised that the disabled vehicle was nowhere to be found and added: " It looks like the guy jacked himself off, and left". Needless to say, hilarity ensued. |
|
We had a Corporal do a 30 second rant in Cartman's voice while he was struggling to get his MP5 un tangled from the rack after shift, with his radio accidentally keyed up.....After numerous F-bombs, god damnits, and piece of shits, dispatch finally broke in with an emphatic "OPEN MIC ON CHANNEL ONE!!!"
We also had a Deputy get flustered with dispatch, he started swearing, calling her a mother-f'ing bitch, going off about dispatchers, the whole nine yards.....with an unintentional open mic. We had an LT who was working at the state fair get on the radio after they had a guy get robbed. "The suspects gonna be a WMA, wearing a wife beater, scraggly hair, walking a shitty looking german shepard." |
|
I dropped my radio on the button once while taking an emergency crap at the hospital.
It wouldn't have been bad if the transmit button hadn't stuck in the "on". It wouldn't have been legendary if I hadn't been narrating the experience in a creepy mix of Howard Cosell and Ace Ventura. 
|
|
Dispatch asks for clothing description of a run away juvenile as I stand talking to his mother... she starts describing his clothing while I key the mic and relay what she is saying... Me:"Last seen wearing blue jeans, tennis shoes, wife beater" Dispatch: "Blue jeans, tennis shoes, white tank top, clear".    |
|
Was not me, but an old timer who told me about this:
He was driving down a very big main strip in the city He receives a radio call for a raccoon on the highway, just sitting there on top of a parked vehicle. "Radio, I'm in the area, I'll be looking for this Raccoon." So he's driving around and he sees it, sitting on top of a parked car. As he pulls up, to take a better look at the raccoon and tells radio an update - he sees a guy walking across the street pointing a gun at someone standing on the corner... "Radio, I found this raccoon he's........ugh......GUN! He has a GUN!! get me units!!" So the street sergeant goes over air... "Radio, did that unit say that coon is armed?" turns out the guy with the gun was a plainclothes officer making an arrest of a guy wanted for armed robbery... *no offense to anyone who may take offense, just repeating the story* Another one which was pretty funny. "Radio, I'm going to have to CRD (call radio dispatch - for stuff you can't say over the air), please clear a line for me" "NEGATIVE" weird pause in radio traffic "Radio, I need to give you info on this job, I need to CRD" "NEGATIVE" So he finishes up the job and goes back on patrol. "Unit, take this location for some random job." "NEGATIVE radio" "Unit repeat?" "NEGATIVE" "Unit what is your location?" no response "Unit CRD IMMEDIATELY!" "NEGATIVE RADIO" it was a lot more funny over air we were DYING...I almost fell out of my car. edit: have to add this one - there was a period of time we weren't allowed to say "muslim garb" over radio....the silliness ensued. "BLEEEPPP, All units in the xxxx district robbery in progress, point of gun at this and that street...unk description on doers, complainant is at xxx and xxx streets." units start putting themselves in on the job. 10 second pause in radio traffic *running* -"foot pursuit, north on xxx street by xxx ave" "Unit, give me the description!" "stand by!" "Unit give me a description! direction!" "west on xxx street now...." "unit description!!!" "DARTH VADER RADIO, DARTH VADER!" "BLEEEEPPPP, all units in the xxx district, assist the officer police by radio, unit in foot pursuit of black male wearing a black traditional garb wanted for a robbery point of gun, west on xxx street." |
|
since my biggest pet peeve are no complaint calls for speeding vehicle, man down, intox person, etc. I got a call for a pick up truck with what sounds like moaning coming from the truck. once i get on scene, the truck is goa, no call back on the tool who called it in, so i tell radio the truck is gone, but there are a couple of people smoking a cigarette. the dispatcher was laughing.
|
|
Quoted:
Dispatch asks for clothing description of a run away juvenile as I stand talking to his mother... she starts describing his clothing while I key the mic and relay what she is saying... Me:"Last seen wearing blue jeans, tennis shoes, wife beater" Dispatch: "Blue jeans, tennis shoes, white tank top, clear". We try to clean up your traffic when we can. Had a car call out with a disabled vehicle one night. "Unit to radio, I'll be out with ABC1234 at Main and Elm." "Received, unit." "Radio, he already has a tow on the way, but he's in a shitty spot, I'll be standing by 'til they get here." "Received, unit, poor location and standing by for the hook." Had a sergeant on a foot chase find the guy under some bushes: "Unit to radio, one on foot!" (chase ensues, Yakkety Sax in background, multiple cars join in) "Sgt to radio, I've got him on Main St, behind the-SHOW-ME-YOUR-FUCKING-HANDS-NOW! - behind the library." |
|
Couple weeks ago one of our dispatchers dropped the f bomb - "you think he would know that if he runs the fucking police department". Not sure what the chief did to annoy her.
I got "counseled" for describing a suspects clothing as a "wife beater". everyone knew what I meant though. |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Dispatch asks for clothing description of a run away juvenile as I stand talking to his mother... she starts describing his clothing while I key the mic and relay what she is saying... Me:"Last seen wearing blue jeans, tennis shoes, wife beater" Dispatch: "Blue jeans, tennis shoes, white tank top, clear". We try to clean up your traffic when we can. Had a car call out with a disabled vehicle one night. "Unit to radio, I'll be out with ABC1234 at Main and Elm." "Received, unit." "Radio, he already has a tow on the way, but he's in a shitty spot, I'll be standing by 'til they get here." "Received, unit, poor location and standing by for the hook." Had a sergeant on a foot chase find the guy under some bushes: "Unit to radio, one on foot!" (chase ensues, Yakkety Sax in background, multiple cars join in) "Sgt to radio, I've got him on Main St, behind the-SHOW-ME-YOUR-FUCKING-HANDS-NOW! - behind the library." I did that about two months ago. I got into a very short lived high speed chase in a residential neighborhood (went about 4 blocks and the guy almost lost it in a turn). He lost his nerve and as he was pulling to the curb to stop i was calling out to dispatch and trying to get out of my car quickly. I ended up saying "99A99 pursuit has ended at 1st and Main, i have 2 male... you jump out of that car and I WILL HURT YOU!!!!". It was just a bogus threat to try to keep the passenger from bailing on foot and i hadent really thought it out, was just the first thing that came to mind, but it worked. Funny thing is that nobody even mentioned it till i brought it up. Sgt didnt even seem to care either. |
|
I am told that before I started we had an officer pursuing one on foot at one of our hotels say: " I've got one going down on me behind the 6".
One of my partners encountered an intoxicated Hispanic male in the back lot of our PD and wasn't able to understand him, so he asked over the main radio channel if there was anybody who spoke inebriated Spanish available to come to his location. |
|
Was sitting on the perimeter road for the fort down here next to a major thoughfare. Just was recovered from an ATV accident on duty, so I was in the HMMWV glassing for illegals hoping they would come down the wash where the usually did to load out. Had a cooler in the back of the truck. Drop the NVGs for a moment and look in the side view mirror cause I heard a crunch. Low and behold three illegals were just about to climb into the back of my truck with me up front to get into my cooler. (SA fail...epic.) I was going to let them do thier thing til backup got there (BP and the other MP Customs section guys were about a half a klick away on their sign.) I figured I would let the BP guys know what was going on and I keyed up the mic on the BP net and thought I said "Unit blah blah, this is mp X-3, I have 3 UDAs approaching my vehicle." I get back a "OPEN MIC!" with tons of laughter in the background. apparently I had said, "I have three motherfuckers trying to get refreshments out of my hummer." oops. I was a little flustered. |
| The one that occurs most often on my shift is when one of us had got a DUI and we need a PBT. we just call out "any unit with a box near this street and that street" the best part about is our female corporal has the nicest PBT so she usually responds "10-4 i got a box where you need it?". |
|
I was counselled that "push-bar marks on the back of his pants and a skinned face" was an unnecessary addition to the description of a suspect that fled from his vehicle after a pursuit, regardless of it's accuracy.
Be it known that this collision was purely unintentional, as I was stopping into a cloud of dust and had to steer left to avoid the suspect vehicle. Really. |
|
I was just clearing a loose livestock call when a major accident happened in front of me. Car T-boned another car doing about 60. One car landed in the bar ditch, the other landed in the middle of a busy highway.
"XXXX to County, I'll be unable to locate that loose...HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT GOTTA GO BYE" Why I said gotta go bye, I'll never know.
Ended up having to use the jaws on one of the vehicles too. 3 of the 4 people involved had to be starflighted. |
|
I worked 2 years on graves with a bunch of awesome Officers, dispatchers, and the funniest Sergeant I've ever met. We had so many funny transmissions, that I can't remember them all. One night, I had to 10-200 like none other. We're talking nearly code brown status. Every time I cleared a call, I told dispatch that I needed to go back to the station (our code is 490) and every time, they sent me on another call. Finally, I got sent on a call and ended up taking a report. Our disposition for "report taken" at the time was "2." "Control, 1B, I'll be clear with a 2. Speaking of 2's, I'll be en route 490." My MDT exploded with messages from every other Officer on the road who got it. When I was in field training, I rolled up as a backup for an Officer who had just stopped some kids for tagging. When I rolled up, I saw him running toward the wall and jumping over. Me: "Control, 2G24, I'm arrive––- SHIT! We got one running eastbound!" Dispatch: Copy, Control advising all units, code red on patrol for 2G24 in a foot pursuit." Me: a few seconds later after being told that he actually took a running start to jump a wall to get the spray can. "Uuuhhhh... Control, 2G24, negative on the foot pursuit, he just needed a running start to clear the wall. We're Code 4." Dispatch: (laughing) "Copy, code green on patrol." Sergeant: "2G24, what's for breakfast tomorrow?" (when somebody does something stupid, it's traditional to buy food for the squad the next day) |
|
Was with a senior officer (I was a pup). I keyed up to call in a stop and starts curising because a driver wont move out of our way.
One of the times I got hurt I cursed on the air, bad. A few similar times as above when I was giving commands while keyed up. Cursed a couple of those also. Picked up radio when ment to pick up PA. |
| We had an officer check out on a call, then immediately call in a foot pursuit. About 30 seconds later he starts screaming "Officer down!" on the radio. Of course, every other officer in the entire county responds emergency traffic......until about 3 minutes later said dumbass calls out again "County, I pulled a hammy" |
|
When I was in Court and Transport, I called out..."Court XX, departing Cheyenne Mountain Rear-Entry....er, RE-Entry Center with one...."
Fortunately, it was on our Court channel and not the main Patrol talkgroup. Everyone in the courthouse heard it, but at least the entire county didn't. Still have NEVER lived it down.
ETA: Since it matters to so many people in GD, let me announce: Page Two. |
|
We work in a station with 2 ALS ambulances, so if one crew calls in, gets moved, or just doesn't feel like working the other unit gets hosed. Well I was on the truck that got hosed. So me and my partner had a terrible night. Like the kind of nights that burn people out. All because one guy called in. So after every call we would talk about the evil things we were going to do to said person.
well halfway through my rant my partner decides he is going to clear us. so as he keys the mic I say "Thanks John Doe for F***ing our day up you prick!!!!" at the top of my lungs. Dispatch comes back with "copy and we agree" Both me and the dispatcher got a talking to about that one. |
|
Quoted:
I dropped my radio on the button once while taking an emergency crap at the hospital. It wouldn't have been bad if the transmit button hadn't stuck in the "on". It wouldn't have been legendary if I hadn't been narrating the experience in a creepy mix of Howard Cosell and Ace Ventura. You know at your retirement party a recording of that is going to show up, right? |
|
Quoted:
We had an officer check out on a call, then immediately call in a foot pursuit. About 30 seconds later he starts screaming "Officer down!" on the radio. Of course, every other officer in the entire county responds emergency traffic......until about 3 minutes later said dumbass calls out again "County, I pulled a hammy" Wow, does anybody speak to that guy, also i bet thats not the first stupid thing hes done. |
|
Quoted:
I was counselled that "push-bar marks on the back of his pants and a skinned face" was an unnecessary addition to the description of a suspect that fled from his vehicle after a pursuit, regardless of it's accuracy. Be it known that this collision was purely unintentional, as I was stopping into a cloud of dust and had to steer left to avoid the suspect vehicle. Really. Before I was a cop I was riding along with another department. It happen to be the Sgt. that I was with. He was telling me about a guy that ran from him on a traffic stop. This Sgt. is a BIG boy and getting up there in age so instead of running after him he just hit him with his car. I guess he knocked the kid right out of his shoes. He said hes never seen someones eyes get that big then when the kid was laid out on the hood of the squad car. |
|
Heard many, said a few.
Me: "514, NAT, what's nex....holy shit!" HQ: "10-9, 514?" Me: "Yeah, sorry, the Shell station at X and Y just fell over, start me EMS and fire on a 3." HQ: "'Fell over, 514?'" Me: "10-4, fell over." Or another, only unit on scene on a mental subject, after the family called in again while I was there to tell HQ he was trying to kill me: (Slip up by me, idiotic transmission of the month for HQ.) HQ: "521, complainant advise the subject is 103F with you in the kitchen, do you have a code 4?" Me: "Well fuck, I got the knife away from him, but now he's throwing boiling potatoes at me HQ, what the hell do you think?" HQ: "523, 515, step it up." I got a talking to on that one (the Shell station incident got forgiven.) |
|
When I was in training, my FTO and I met his wife and another senior officer for lunch.
When we were leaving, my FTO leaned over to kiss his wife––keying his mic in the process. All you heard was a loud smack of lips and "I love you sweety". Went out crystal clear. After about 10 seconds of dead air, dispatch says, "Charles 18 did you have traffic?" The senior officer gets on the radio and says, "Negative, car to car." We had a senior officer whose pet peeve was bicycles on the sidewalk––he'd drive by a good robbery in progress to yell at bikes on the sidewalk over the PA system––and since he was senior it was always laced with swearing. He had a trainee for the day who thought it would be funny to switch the PA mic with the radio mic (they're identical) and the 1st bike they saw, the senior officer went out with "Good job there cock-sucker, how about I come knock you over, ram my foot up your ass and see how well you ride that bike". The officer retired about 4 weeks later––but that tape still floats around, for training purposes of course. 
|
|
On the topic of confusing PA and radio mic's ... guy riding officer in our engine grabbed the wrong one to call en route to a structure fire. At 4am.
After four tries and no answer from control (imagine that), I poked him in the shoulder and handed him the right mic. The neighbors were glad to know we were on the road, though... (Because the flashy-flashy-woo-woo wasn't enough of a clue.) Suspects running on foot - these were before my time, so I've only heard it second-hand. One: Officer with a lot of hash marks, hated running. Standard for him was, "Radio I've got one foot westbound on Main from..." (Wait fifteen seconds.) "Radio, he just ran into my car, send a medic."
Two: Officer on mids that tended to get bored and create his own fun: "Radio, failure to yield, I'm south on Main, red mustang, unknown plate." Other cars would call in as they joined up, but somehow he would ALWAYS lose the suspect vehicle. Well, one night he got busted. Apparently he called it, and the sergeant was sitting around the corner. Instead of jumping right in, the sergeant watched - and saw this guy, lights and sirens, blow the intersection in hot pursuit of ... nothing. A minute later, a block over, here he comes the other direction, still chasing vapors.
|
|
Quoted:
We had an officer check out on a call, then immediately call in a foot pursuit. About 30 seconds later he starts screaming "Officer down!" on the radio. Of course, every other officer in the entire county responds emergency traffic......until about 3 minutes later said dumbass calls out again "County, I pulled a hammy" It was you... wasn't it. 
|
|
Quoted:
Everyone at my unit says "Be advised" before most every message. I caught myself almost saying "Be advised" the other day. That just irritates the dog shit out of me. Thank you. I AM ADVISING YOU, I'M TELLING YOU, I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU THAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. The only thing I'll preface a transmission with is, "Information only." This means, "I don't care what you do with the information and I expect no answer other than 10-4/received/copy, but I think you should know it." |
|
Quoted:
I dropped my radio on the button once while taking an emergency crap at the hospital. It wouldn't have been bad if the transmit button hadn't stuck in the "on". It wouldn't have been legendary if I hadn't been narrating the experience in a creepy mix of Howard Cosell and Ace Ventura. This is all win. 
|
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
We had an officer check out on a call, then immediately call in a foot pursuit. About 30 seconds later he starts screaming "Officer down!" on the radio. Of course, every other officer in the entire county responds emergency traffic......until about 3 minutes later said dumbass calls out again "County, I pulled a hammy" Wow, does anybody speak to that guy, also i bet thats not the first stupid thing hes done. You would be correct. |
|
Well, not that, but once I was talking in the office with some of my troopers, when the dispatcher's eyes went wide. I was talking about how I was high strung as a horse...............
.........................he thought I said I was hung like a horse. All things considered, I just wonder what kind of images he was having in his mind at that moment. _______________________________________________________ ("Oh, it's too big, is it? Well, you know what that means, it means it's just the right SIZE!"––Sharon Kane with a SO, slamming Saber in a sling, (w,stte), "Leather and Lace") |
|
Quoted:
Was not me, but an old timer who told me about this: He was driving down a very big main strip in the city He receives a radio call for a raccoon on the highway, just sitting there on top of a parked vehicle. "Radio, I'm in the area, I'll be looking for this Raccoon." So he's driving around and he sees it, sitting on top of a parked car. As he pulls up, to take a better look at the raccoon and tells radio an update - he sees a guy walking across the street pointing a gun at someone standing on the corner... "Radio, I found this raccoon he's........ugh......GUN! He has a GUN!! get me units!!" So the street sergeant goes over air... "Radio, did that unit say that coon is armed?" turns out the guy with the gun was a plainclothes officer making an arrest of a guy wanted for armed robbery... *no offense to anyone who may take offense, just repeating the story* Another one which was pretty funny. "Radio, I'm going to have to CRD (call radio dispatch - for stuff you can't say over the air), please clear a line for me" "NEGATIVE" weird pause in radio traffic "Radio, I need to give you info on this job, I need to CRD" "NEGATIVE" So he finishes up the job and goes back on patrol. "Unit, take this location for some random job." "NEGATIVE radio" "Unit repeat?" "NEGATIVE" "Unit what is your location?" no response "Unit CRD IMMEDIATELY!" "NEGATIVE RADIO" it was a lot more funny over air we were DYING...I almost fell out of my car. edit: have to add this one - there was a period of time we weren't allowed to say "muslim garb" over radio....the silliness ensued. "BLEEEPPP, All units in the xxxx district robbery in progress, point of gun at this and that street...unk description on doers, complainant is at xxx and xxx streets." units start putting themselves in on the job. 10 second pause in radio traffic *running* -"foot pursuit, north on xxx street by xxx ave" "Unit, give me the description!" "stand by!" "Unit give me a description! direction!" "west on xxx street now...." "unit description!!!" "DARTH VADER RADIO, DARTH VADER!" "BLEEEEPPPP, all units in the xxx district, assist the officer police by radio, unit in foot pursuit of black male wearing a black traditional garb wanted for a robbery point of gun, west on xxx street." PPD? Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
|
Quoted:
Quoted:
Was not me, but an old timer who told me about this: He was driving down a very big main strip in the city He receives a radio call for a raccoon on the highway, just sitting there on top of a parked vehicle. "Radio, I'm in the area, I'll be looking for this Raccoon." So he's driving around and he sees it, sitting on top of a parked car. As he pulls up, to take a better look at the raccoon and tells radio an update - he sees a guy walking across the street pointing a gun at someone standing on the corner... "Radio, I found this raccoon he's........ugh......GUN! He has a GUN!! get me units!!" So the street sergeant goes over air... "Radio, did that unit say that coon is armed?" turns out the guy with the gun was a plainclothes officer making an arrest of a guy wanted for armed robbery... *no offense to anyone who may take offense, just repeating the story* Another one which was pretty funny. "Radio, I'm going to have to CRD (call radio dispatch - for stuff you can't say over the air), please clear a line for me" "NEGATIVE" weird pause in radio traffic "Radio, I need to give you info on this job, I need to CRD" "NEGATIVE" So he finishes up the job and goes back on patrol. "Unit, take this location for some random job." "NEGATIVE radio" "Unit repeat?" "NEGATIVE" "Unit what is your location?" no response "Unit CRD IMMEDIATELY!" "NEGATIVE RADIO" it was a lot more funny over air we were DYING...I almost fell out of my car. edit: have to add this one - there was a period of time we weren't allowed to say "muslim garb" over radio....the silliness ensued. "BLEEEPPP, All units in the xxxx district robbery in progress, point of gun at this and that street...unk description on doers, complainant is at xxx and xxx streets." units start putting themselves in on the job. 10 second pause in radio traffic *running* -"foot pursuit, north on xxx street by xxx ave" "Unit, give me the description!" "stand by!" "Unit give me a description! direction!" "west on xxx street now...." "unit description!!!" "DARTH VADER RADIO, DARTH VADER!" "BLEEEEPPPP, all units in the xxx district, assist the officer police by radio, unit in foot pursuit of black male wearing a black traditional garb wanted for a robbery point of gun, west on xxx street." PPD? Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile how could you tell
|
|
The other night:
Officer 1: "Officer 2, can you bring me a screwdriver?" Officer 2: "On the Rocks or a Phillips." Officer 1: "....umm, stand by" Officer 1: laughter "Phillips will do for now." Or Officers get dispatched to noise complaint, lady throwing stuff in her house alone. Officers arrive on scene. Officer 1: "Dispatch, can you send us, (screaming) she fucking crazy." Officer 2: "Shes naked, bloody and chasing us with a stick." Multiple units check in route Officer 1: "Dispatch, (in background you hear, come here and fuck me) were gloving up" We laughed so hard and when we get to the scene there is this 300 lb woman, covered in blood, back in her house laying on the carpet screaming, fuck me fuck me. She was off her meds and spent an hour breaking her windows, furniture, and most of her personal belongings in her house. |
|
Quoted: I was responding to assist a neighboring FD on a brush fire. When asked for a size-up they responded with "It's a big ass fire!" I was working dispatch one night, fire chief is on scene of a brush fire way out in a rural area. Units are enrt and he's giving the size up. He's explaining how the fire is running along a steep ridge line and he doesn't think the dozers and equipment will be able to get to it but he's looking for access. He hops back on the radio a few minutes later and says "Yeah, I can't get access for any equipment it's going to be a hand job" I just about fell out of my dispatch chair. I seen him a couple weeks later and asked him about his hand jobs on the fire scenes. He turned about 4 shades of red and said that he hadn't stopped hearing about that since. |
|
I have had a couple (more than that, lol) over the years.
One good one, I'm sitting at an interection at about 0300 going on a BS call when a drunk blasts through the interection, looses it on the hump and runs into a building just as I am on the radio asking about the call. The dispatch tape is awesome as, without missing a beat and mid sentence, I tell Dispatch, "Holy shit dispatch he just hit a buidling." The chuckle in my voice is the best part. Another good one was when we were chasing a robbery suspect and I saw him run behind a buidling so I cut it into the parking lot on two wheels, but failed to notice the other squad car doing the same, when we hit, Dispatch got an "OHHHHHHHFUCKKKKKKKKK" out of me. LOL One of the better ones was not even me, but a Sgt (who no one particulary cares for) spend about 10 minutes riding around with an open mic sing "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond, before anyone could find him (this was before MCT's, Cell phones etc). he still gets shit over that one. J- |
|
Quoted:
I have had a couple (more than that, lol) over the years. One good one, I'm sitting at an interection at about 0300 going on a BS call when a drunk blasts through the interection, looses it on the hump and runs into a building just as I am on the radio asking about the call. The dispatch tape is awesome as, without missing a beat and mid sentence, I tell Dispatch, "Holy shit dispatch he just hit a buidling." The chuckle in my voice is the best part. Another good one was when we were chasing a robbery suspect and I saw him run behind a buidling so I cut it into the parking lot on two wheels, but failed to notice the other squad car doing the same, when we hit, Dispatch got an "OHHHHHHHFUCKKKKKKKKK" out of me. LOL One of the better ones was not even me, but a Sgt (who no one particulary cares for) spend about 10 minutes riding around with an open mic sing "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond, before anyone could find him (this was before MCT's, Cell phones etc). he still gets shit over that one. J- The best part of this story is how you misspelled intersection twice into something that contains the word erection! |