Posted: 2/1/2010 6:11:58 PM EDT
| My g/f and her mother live together. The g/f has been working a 2nd job for a while that's about 25 miles away 4 days out of a week. There was only one car in the house so I took her too work two or three days out the week, her mother did the rest. The mother just purchased a second vehicle but wants to keep the miles low. The g/f house hold now has two vehicles. I purchased my vehicle new about two years ago and put extra miles taking her to work. I told the g/f just like I was trying to do when I purchased mine, she said yes. The issue is the mother wants to keep the new car parked at the house and still have me drive the g/f to work when the g/f should be able to drive the other vehicle. This vehicle is still is in good condidtion. Please let me know what you think. Survey is coming. |
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How old are you and how old is your girlfriend? I bet since she is old enough to work, she is old enough to buy her own car. 
That's what I'd do, but that is me and how I was brought up. Self -sufficient and all that stuff.  this. mom bought the car; mom decides who gets to drive it and when. mom said "no driving it to work," so that's the rule. girlfriend wants a car to drive to work? girlfriend *buys* a car to drive to work. you don't HAVE to drive her to work. she can either find another way or find another job. (or you can continue to choose to drive her.) |
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Mama seems to be making a point... unless she puts plastic on the couches, too. I don't think her mother owes her a ride any more than you do. Be glad Mama is letting her stay at her place instead of yours. I'm not saying your girlfriend should buy a car and a house just for herself. We should work in family groups if we have them, but one person should never take too much in the situation.
If your girlfriend has had a second job for two years and she hasn't saved enough to buy a car, then you don't blame her MOTHER for not providing. You should ask if she's saving for a car. |
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Mama seems to be making a point... unless she puts plastic on the couches, too. I don't think her mother owes her a ride any more than you do. Be glad Mama is letting her stay at her place instead of yours. I'm not saying your girlfriend should buy a car and a house just for herself. We should work in family groups if we have them, but one person should never take too much in the situation. If your girlfriend has had a second job for two years and she hasn't saved enough to buy a car, then you don't blame her MOTHER for not providing. You should ask if she's saving for a car. The mother lives with the g/f. I should have said that earlier. |
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WTF this has all sorts of FAIL in it... you live with girlfriend who doesnt have car, but she lives with here mom. living with parents and doesnt want to drive her car... ALL SORTS OF FAIL>>>> que banjo music. I don't live with the g/f. The mother lives in her house and I was taking her too work two days out of the week. The mother has put a car cover over the new vehicle and continues driving the old one to work. I feel the mother should let the daughter drive the old car since she lives in her house. I feel that's fair trade off. |
| I'm trying not to be an ass. I just feel they are running over me for being a nice guy. Two years were going on a trip out of state. A week before we decide to go, she says her mother and cousin is going also. I said now are we going on her car and she says no. I say she has more room and she still says no. I was unable to make the trip a week later. |
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I'm trying not to be an ass. I just feel they are running over me for being a nice guy. Two years were going on a trip out of state. A week before we decide to go, she says her mother and cousin is going also. I said now are we going on her car and she says no. I say she has more room and she still says no. I was unable to make the trip a week later. Yeah I think you are being taken advantage of. 4 days a week is a lot. You don't even have to say why or just say you can't afford (time, money, etc...) to do it anymore. But don't be surprised if you get kicked to the curb. You need to be a bit more assertive. Do it now before it gets worse. They won't change without YOU doing something about it. |
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I'm trying not to be an ass. I just feel they are running over me for being a nice guy. Two years were going on a trip out of state. A week before we decide to go, she says her mother and cousin is going also. I said now are we going on her car and she says no. I say she has more room and she still says no. I was unable to make the trip a week later. Yeah I think you are being taken advantage of. 4 days a week is a lot. You don't even have to say why or just say you can't afford (time, money, etc...) to do it anymore. But don't be surprised if you get kicked to the curb. You need to be a bit more assertive. Do it now before it gets worse. They won't change without YOU doing something about it. Thanks for the advice. I will continue to watch the survey so everyone please resond. 1902 UPDATE. I just got finished talking with the g/f said she is going to start driving herself to work. I'm going to give her until the 12th after that I'm not doing it anymore. |
| Sparkym37, you were right about this situation. I'm talking it over with the g/f about not driving her to work anymore and she wants to know why. I just going to flat out say look there are two vehicles in your household and I only have one. I don't feel it's right for me to keep putting miles on my car while you keep them low on your two vehicles. I get a few dollars each week but its does not amount to wear, it just covers gas. I put like 150 plus miles doing this a week. This does not include if we want to go out or something. I purchased my car New with 7 miles on it Dec 2007 now I about to hit 36k. I put some of this mileage on from seeing a doctor out of state for a knee issue so, I'm not putting it all off on her. I hope it turns out for the better. I did leave some info out regarding the vehicle purchase that really set me on fire after her asking why. What would everyone say if the vehicle is in both her and her mom's name. |
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Sparkym37, you were right about this situation. I'm talking it over with the g/f about not driving her to work anymore and she wants to know why. I just going to flat out say look there are two vehicles in your household and I only have one. I don't feel it's right for me to keep putting miles on my car while you keep them low on your two vehicles. I get a few dollars each week but its does not amount to wear, it just covers gas. I put like 150 plus miles doing this a week. This does not include if we want to go out or something. I purchased my car New with 7 miles on it Dec 2007 now I about to hit 36k. I put some of this mileage on from seeing a doctor out of state for a knee issue so, I'm not putting it all off on her. I hope it turns out for the better. I did leave some info out regarding the vehicle purchase that really set me on fire after her asking why. What would everyone say if the vehicle is in both her and her mom's name. You are being taken advantage of. Many people, men and women, will take advantage of someone that's nice. |
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Who's house is it?
Who is living at who's place? There's a big difference between "living at home as an adult" and "let mom move in to save on rent who then buys SUV to keep as a driveway queen" 50 miles a day for someone else's job is a lot of time and miles. You are getting outright _used_. |
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Who's house is it? Who is living at who's place? There's a big difference between "living at home as an adult" and "let mom move in to save on rent who then buys SUV to keep as a driveway queen" 50 miles a day for someone else's job is a lot of time and miles. You are getting outright _used_. its g/f house and her mother lives with her. |
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Sparkym37, you were right about this situation. I'm talking it over with the g/f about not driving her to work anymore and she wants to know why. I just going to flat out say look there are two vehicles in your household and I only have one. I don't feel it's right for me to keep putting miles on my car while you keep them low on your two vehicles. I get a few dollars each week but its does not amount to wear, it just covers gas. I put like 150 plus miles doing this a week. This does not include if we want to go out or something. I purchased my car New with 7 miles on it Dec 2007 now I about to hit 36k. I put some of this mileage on from seeing a doctor out of state for a knee issue so, I'm not putting it all off on her. I hope it turns out for the better. I did leave some info out regarding the vehicle purchase that really set me on fire after her asking why. What would everyone say if the vehicle is in both her and her mom's name. It sounds like you have it all planned out. I would go with this approach when talking with her. It's an honest, up-front way of dealing with the issue ETA: How long have you been dating this girl? Good luck!
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Quoted: Quoted: Who's house is it? Who is living at who's place? There's a big difference between "living at home as an adult" and "let mom move in to save on rent who then buys SUV to keep as a driveway queen" 50 miles a day for someone else's job is a lot of time and miles. You are getting outright _used_. its g/f house and her mother lives with her. If thats the case, than there needs to be a give-n-take. The GF needs to make a deal to lighten the rent for mom, and in return she gets to use the car. |
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Quoted: Um...seems to me mommy has a princess syndrome. If GF needs this extra job to keep a roof over BOTH their heads, mommy can pitch in.Quoted: Who's house is it? Who is living at who's place? There's a big difference between "living at home as an adult" and "let mom move in to save on rent who then buys SUV to keep as a driveway queen" 50 miles a day for someone else's job is a lot of time and miles. You are getting outright _used_. its g/f house and her mother lives with her. |
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Quoted: Just got finished talking with the g/f and she said " I want be in your car None Next Month" I just want to know why? I did nothing wrong at all. She's overcorrecting. She feels you went to one extreme so she goes to the other. Don't be surprised. Now, if she was mature enough to see that maybe she should get a car things could be different. Take this petty response of hers with a dose of "uh oh!" |