Posted: 12/8/2008 1:06:27 PM EDT
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Dear ladies,
My GF and I met just over a year ago - both of us are divorced, and both have two kids. In the course of the relantionship she has been far more giving in things and romance (always giving me and my boys gifts etc). I was always doing projects - she had a house on 1.6 ac of land that was sadly neglected - my way of showing affection for her and her kids was by doing projects for her (fixing of the barn, taking down fences, mowing and raiing, seeding, taking down trees, tree removal, burning of all the remant wood/trees/trash. more work in her house included putting in floors in her sons br, puting up light fixtures, hanging of shutters, wall repairs, building shelfs and desk etc. all this in additon to the trips to the springs, camping, boating, trips to see forts and waterparks. The most difficult part was her kids backlash aginst me and mine. It was like fighing the dynamic douel. that being said - I have a last date with her - a trip to go to a B&B - just us - no kids to try to when heat back - what do I give her for a christmas present. If we are to put it back together - it would only for us (we now have our schedules line up where we are both on or off with kids) - it has been brutal with no time to ourselfs. what comes to mind is a locket with our our picture in it. Personal, small, thought ful. I would love to know what your thoughts are. Thanks, Karl |
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sorry for the garbaled post - I was in a rush trying to to get out of work.
long story short - two very good people with two good kids each. She has been divorced longer my 2 to her 7. her kids were older 13 and 10 to my 10 and 8. two major things that went wrond was number one - I did not know what I was getting into trying to have a relationship with both her and her kids. her kids did not take to me and I did not like the lack of respect - I tried the wrong way to win their hearts (not enouft focus on thier needs - or an understand of my jealosey of them with their mom, and them of me with their mom. The second big thing was my GF thoughts of lack of romance on my part - I thouth by giving her all of my time - working on her house and much needed projects (she did help me on some of mine as well) that I was showing how much I cared and loved her. What she wanted was a trip to a B&B or a private dinner or a play. What I gave her did not fit that bill. I think that she has snapped - that she does want it to be over. I haved asked and she said that she will go out on a date (she knows it is over night). I have booked an night at a B&B in St. Augustine. Thought that we would begin the day with a picnic at the old fort. then would take her to go get her toes and a manicure done. I may go check us in while she is doing that. go to a nice dinner - thougt about dancing - but think that we need some alone time to talk. I do want to give her somthing nice. I do think that personal it the right avenue. Please keep it coming. Thanks, Karl |
| I'm sry to hear that u two are having problems but hopefully this little trip u have planed will help things.I think that the trip is a great idea.It is very thoughful of u.As for the christmas gift I like the idea of the locket.Somthing else u might want to think about is giving her a braclet w/a locket or charm on it that is engraved or something.My bf gave me a charm braclet w/a heart on it and had it engraved.I love it and it is one of my most prized possessions.But jewlery is always a good bet and u can get something really nice for less than $100.00.Good luck and let us know how it goes w/both the trip and relationship and what gift u end up going with. |
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Well Ladies,
she has spent so much time tearing down everything that we ever did - that I now feel like there is not a hope in the world of putting this relationship back together. The weekend plan - was called "too little, too late". If is almost funny that she has stirred up a couple of old boyfriends, and has expressed more feelings over an 7 year affair (the guy passed away about two years and she cut him off about a year before that). So, I guess that I will take some time to healk, and hope to be singing that song....."Got a brand new GF, went and jumped off the deep end" before too long. I want to thank you for your replies. Later, Red |
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Quoted:
Well Ladies, she has spent so much time tearing down everything that we ever did - that I now feel like there is not a hope in the world of putting this relationship back together. The weekend plan - was called "too little, too late". If is almost funny that she has stirred up a couple of old boyfriends, and has expressed more feelings over an 7 year affair (the guy passed away about two years and she cut him off about a year before that). So, I guess that I will take some time to healk, and hope to be singing that song....."Got a brand new GF, went and jumped off the deep end" before too long. I want to thank you for your replies. Later, Red So sorry to hear this. It wasn't meant to be then. Good luck with everything and move on to the next girl! You sound like a good guy to me, so whoever is next in line will be better off than the one who didn't see you for you. |
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Well Ladies, she has spent so much time tearing down everything that we ever did - that I now feel like there is not a hope in the world of putting this relationship back together. The weekend plan - was called "too little, too late". If is almost funny that she has stirred up a couple of old boyfriends, and has expressed more feelings over an 7 year affair (the guy passed away about two years and she cut him off about a year before that). So, I guess that I will take some time to healk, and hope to be singing that song....."Got a brand new GF, went and jumped off the deep end" before too long. I want to thank you for your replies. Later, Red So sorry to hear this. It wasn't meant to be then. Good luck with everything and move on to the next girl! You sound like a good guy to me, so whoever is next in line will be better off than the one who didn't see you for you. Thank you Compass for your kind words.... Thought that I would give an update.... I mailed last Thursday to arive on Friday a box with some Choclate covered popcorn for her two kids - I did talk to her for some 2+hours on the phone Friday night while she was driving back from Orlando (she was driving her kids for her ex's visation - they meet there). We did not talk at all on Saturday - I made plans to go kayaking. Sunday morning in IM me on MSN we talk for a bit. She calls me at around 3:30 - but I could not talk due to be in my oldest sons piano recital. We talk a bid on the IM around 5ish, then again around 8 that night. She ended some of the IM conversations with a C YA. At the end of the end of the conversation - she wanted to know when my ex was taking the boys - I stated this friday. She then stated that I could drive to Gainesville (70 miles) - that we could go to dinner and that I could pick up the rest of the boat stuff. I picked up the boat two weeks ago from her house. I did not answer - I was thinking that it would be a waste of my day to go see her - that it was another step into the end - that she was not realy wanting to see me. I am still torn up in reguards to it all, but have kind of decided that it would be for the best if I did not see her untill after Christmas and New Years. I did mail off to her and her two a package of Christmas presents today - that they will get tomorrow. What are your thoughts, suggestions, advice? Thanks, Karl |
It's entirely up to you whether you want to continue to make an effort to get back with her or call it good and not play along. That being said I would wait until after the holidays. The can be an emotional time and you may not make the decision that you would have otherwise.  Ask me how I know. It really sounds like you both need some time to figure out what you truly want so good call on waiting.
Merry Christmas, badred, and good luck. |