Posted: 8/21/2008 5:35:21 PM EDT
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Hello, sorry for drifting into your forums but I have a question. My 2 1/2 yo son has had a slight fever (ranging between 99-103) for the past week. The Doc says it happens here on Kadena and should be followed by red spots all over that lasts a few days and not be alarmed. My wife works at night usually so I shower and prep our boy for sleep, and he usually crashes in bed with me. Well last night she got home and asked if I had been showering him while sick. When I said yes she went ballistic and litterally said "are you trying to kill our son?"  she is 26, and we have been married for 5 years, and on the rocks for the last year... and she confuses the ever loving snot out of me.. we'll be fine for days or weeks even, and then suddenly she'll go ape-sh@t over the simplest of things (in my mind) and then bring up shit from the past five years that I had already appologized for repeatedly. Hell every time we need a sitter for our son for either her working (I am active military) or if we want to go do something, she makes me do every thing and will go nuts if I dont. She says she want's to do counciling but wont lift a finger to try anything. what am I doing wrong? was hopping into the shower with our son while he is sick that dangerous? I know I am far from perfect, but I try... it's gotten to the point were the only thing I am afraid to loose is my son. |
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A luke warm bath to help lower a fever is age-old remedy. A steamy shower for a cough is too. Just a couple links I found: familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/children/parents/common/common/069.html 
www.babycenter.com/0_fever_84.bc?articleId=84&page=3#articlesection1
All I can say about the wife is: get the counciling. |
went and got the paperwork started for it... just sucks. If I have an issue, it's dealt with and gotten over, or I strait out get over it.. she holds onto shit or will make it painfully obvious that she is pissed and then go nuts when I tell her she is being pissy and rediculous over simple shit. |
Missed the part that he is already married or just like to stir the shit? If it's the former, now you know. If it's the latter: Back to GD with you! 2T2_Crash: We moms tend to be nutso when the kid is sick. If you're fighting about other stuff, all I can tell you is the same Perse has: seek help. |
we are, with the Family Support Center... the questionnaire they have asks what some perceived problems are.. I don't know.. I honestly don't mull over or hold onto anything... hell I can't even remember past last week as far as shit that irritated or bothered me. The only thing thats that bother me bout her is how she holds onto stuff and refuses to be happy. is it really that hard for women to just not worry and be happy? |
I dunno. I try not to do that with the hubby, hold onto resentments of past tress passes. I do worry alot, though. It's a fault I have...one of many. I try to remind myself of that when we disagree: that I'm as "broken" as he is in some areas. <shrug> We rarely fight (but we've been together A LONG time. We were kids when we met) but we each have our shortcomings. So long as you can look passed them to what's important, life is good, y'know? |
yep, I was taught that when you love someone you accept their shortfalls, and it's to the point I dont even recognize to many of them... but I feel like she is all to happy to point mine out. Course that could just be how it seems to me. |
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Did you cheat on her? Does she want to stay home with your son full-time? Does she have these issues mostly once a month and in a lesser way about 2 weeks later? If she is this way approximately once a month and mildly like this exactly 2 weeks before the major episode, think PMS and ovulation. BUT don't mention this to her while she is in that state. Wait until she's mellowed out. If you cheated on her, seek help and/or pay your dues. (ETA: It sounds like you are both working really hard and are stressed out. Life is like that sometimes, but not all the time. Remind her of that; maybe plan some special thing for two years from now. That way, you have something constructive to coordinate. ???) |
thankyou for giving the advice Ladies  thankyou for the input. |
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One of the best things you can do as a couple is learn how to fight. Hopefully this counseling will teach you that. And by fight I mean deal with the issue at hand and not bring up stuff from the past - especially stuff that you thought had been put behind you. Marriage is hard work - sometimes harder than others - but worth the hard work and communication you put in to it. I'll second the being nutso when the kids are sick - I'm definitely on edge when any of our are sick where the hubby is much more laid back about it. Best of luck ! -Mrs.Monk |
I wholeheartedly agree with Mrs. Monk on this one. Communication is vital to a marriage, and knowing how to communicate means knowing how when you are upset as well. It sounds like that might be a skill your wife in particular needs to master. If it helps, I've read several articles/books that say that marriages that can get past these types of situations come out the other end much stronger and happier, so stick with it and hopefully you'll be a success story as well.
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