Posted: 6/4/2007 8:14:36 AM EDT
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I'm coming to you ladies for some serious advice, not my usual BS. Anyways here's the situation. I've taken the Zaphod approach and signed up on Match.com. Now I'm not quite as quick as him, however I have been emailing back and forth with a couple of women. I went out on a first date last Thursday with Woman Number One (WNO), and had a great time (including myself snarfing Guinness out my nose laughing). Now I have not said that I will commit to this girl yet, but I did enjoy hanging out with her last week, and I have another date set up for this Saturday. Everything was going fine until this morning when I get home and I recieved an email from Woman Number Two (WNT) asking me "When the heck I was going to ask her out?" This also included her phone number in the email. I have been emailing WNO and WNT for roughly the same ammount of time. Now I asked WNO out because she was the first one I contacted (by three days). My questions are....... 1. Do I even go out on a date with WNT since I have had a very good date with WNO? 2. If I do, do I tell WNO and WNT about each other? Help! I have never had to choose between two women before. |
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You are overthinking. Going out on a few dates does not mean you are committed to the person. Go out with the other woman if you are so inclined. I always look at it as simply meeting a new potential friend... not the love of my life. That's too much pressure too soon. Oh... and it's crazy thinking.  The reality is that once you two meet you may not even have chemistry in which case you worrying about juggling two or more women is a waste of time. Edit to add: Do not volunteer that you are seeing anyone else. It should be assumed that you are single until such time as you both decide you want to see each other exclusively. |
youre making it too complicated  date who you want to date--dont feel obligated to see anyone everyone on that site is there to meet people--if they get all freaked by you dating a few people, move along by date, i dont mean have sex with--i mean go out, talk, spend time, get to know |
Leave it to me, an aircraft mechanic to overthink something.  I've dated women before that have told me that I wasn't the only guy that they were seeing, and that just would bring out the competitive side in me. But you know Men are from Mars, and I'm still trying to figure out where the hell Women are from!
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You're not obligated to anyone just yet. Go out with the second one. While you had a great date with the first woman, that's all you had. One date. Esta bien. ETA: DON'T tell them about each other unless they volunteer that information first. And keep it simple - sex complicates things, greatly. |
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I think you should just take one at a time myself. Not that you're committed to WN1 or anything but it just seems your the type of man that keeps it simple. How much did you pay to join? $50 bucks? It seems to me $50 bucks is a good investment to find people you can blow Guinness out your nose with. I think if you start 'playing' the field you'll get confused and not be able to keep up. If it were me I would tell WN2 that she just happened to be WN2 and that you can not give her your full attention until you've crossed off WN1. It seems to me these 'relationships' are fast in making, fast in breaking so chances are IF you're ready to move on - she will be there. Patty |
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Yep, the other ladies have said it succintly. Dating is just that. Dating. Which means more than one. The most I ever dated at one time was 4 guys...Just not enough days in the week, lol. But I wouldn't add sex to the picture until you settle down with one. YMMV. |
| Well in case you women are wondering, I went out on the date with with second woman, and she is a blast to be with. The first woman seemed to be flaking out a bit after the first date, I quit even talking to her, and with the second woman, well lets just say that we have been enjoying eachother's company quite a bit over the past few weeks. |
+1 -- this is about you having a good time, and possibly finding someone special. I have known more people (myself included) that became comfortable with being single only to find their soulmate when they weren't "looking". Life is full of surprises!! One word of caution though, "trust but verify". I was furious when I found out that my darling husband had run a "check" on me.  We had been dating a while and he found he was "getting serious" but his previous marriage had made him, shall we say "gunshy". Couldn't be too mad though because I had had a PI friend of mine check him out about the same time (yes, we are two peas in a pod!! LOL) 
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I wonder what you are talking? There are three ladies from above who suggested that you refrain from sex for the time. I hope you are taking their advice. Ya, this is from a guy also. If she cant wait for awhile then maybe you should think about any kind of relationship. If she has that much of an itch, then I would be wondering about other situations. |
We haven't had sex yet, and aren't really planning on it, we have just been hanging out, and enjoying spending time with each other. Though the subject did come up and both of us agreed to hold off on sex for a bit. |
I just wanted to let you know that I have confidence in your ability to decide when the time is right for you. No need to ask for our permission on that one. 
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Ah, dang, Persephone -- I was just waiting for that thread!!
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I'm sure I can figure that one out.
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