Posted: 7/8/2006 8:01:35 AM EDT
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We're not allowed to disagree in this forum? That was a perfectly legit and appropriate topic for this forum. Yes, there were some disagreements but so what? That's life. Not everyone agrees. Why was it locked? |
Egads, I didn't catch on to that. Sp1grrl, could you rethink your statement "anyone having a problem with my locking....take it up with staff?" I think its good to be able to go directly to you and discuss it. It isn't an attack on you nor do your actions need defending. Patty |
I didn't take it as a personal attack on me at all. I'm always open for discussion, but if there is a problem on why I lock a certain thread, then it should be taken up with staff to be dealt with appropriately. 
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You made a new moderator fax pas and do not know how to get out of it. You jumped the gun and do not want to lose face. A rookie error. Go back and unlock it. |
Wow, sounds like 'Animal Farm' but it happened way quick. |
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The "watermelon out of a woo" statement was AFTER the lock.... she had no knowledge of it beforehand. And I put it in there because I find it amusing. Same thing as when I call breasts "milkbags".... but people get upset over that, too. BAH! I am asking about that thread but I am asking in general, too.... are we allowed to disagree in this forum or do we have to put on petticoats and lift our little fingers as we sip tea and discuss embroidery? |
I'm not a new mod, it wasn't a rookie error, and I'm not unlocking it. If staff feels that I made a bad call, I will unlock it. Until then, it stays. |
SP1Grrl has been a moderator of this forum for some time. Without a trace of 'sucking up', I happen to think she does a good job.
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Disagreement is a part of human nature. I am not saying in any way that everyone here has to agree with each other on everything. What I AM saying is that we all need to play nice while doing it. Skirting around and sugar coating blatant attacks is not my idea of playing nice. |
I didn't realize the severity of the mud slinging. I'm very sorry. I'm glad you let things roll off your back. You're a good duck. 
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and that specifically is why i backed SP1girl in locking that thread. folks that kind of behavior is the problem on the board. The mudslinging and veiled personal insults and threats relly need to end. It's so bad in fact goatboy himself brought it up to us in the staff forum as a MAJOR issue a few weeks ago. the forum is the process of some major changes. That is likely going to result in some moderation issues in the coming few weeks. If you have a problem please discuss it with the mod via email or IM. trying for a dogpile in public isn't going to do anything but make the situation worse and piss everyone off. debate is fine. even heated discussion is fine. just keep it civil and respectful. that is all we are asking. As for SP1.... i think she has and is doing a hell of a job. That is specifically why she was reccomended to take on the gd as well. Cut her some slack. thanks mike |
that is in the works. not sure if the directive has formally been handed down to mods yet or not. the other issue is that sometimes when a thread takes a downhill crash and we can't keep an eye on it things have to be closed to preserve the integrity of the site. It's been done frequently in gd because of the traffic that place gets. I am not over here enough to know how you girls handle the house. personally i don't see a problem with an edit and reopen, but i will leave that up to SP1 when she gets back online. She's the queen bee over here and i will defer to her judgment on this call. |
+1 The woman’s forum is one of the best self regulating forums. The issue was being talked out. It should have been left alone. |
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Roger that. Personally I think it's an interesting subject and, yes, one close to my heart because I have been involved in raising children that aren't my own. As an aside, aren't there specific COCs about airing other members business that they have specifically posted only in the Team Forum? |
the only formal issue is 5.) Posting of someone else's personal contact information (home phone numbers, home addresses, unpublished e-mail addresses, and the like). 6.) Repeatedly attacking or insulting a person in an effort to elicit a negative response. something you have personally made public is not technically off limits it it was posted on this site. A shitty thing to do perhaps but not particualrly a COC issue so long as it's not personal contact info. |
lets let the ladies work this out. as sp1 is not online it will have to wait until she returns. |
And yet I recall MANY conversations about "what is said in team stays in team." I agree it is shitty .... I just thought there was something a little more formal written about it. Perhaps there should be since there IS a lot of stuff posted in Team that specifically isn't posted anywhere else because people don't want that stuff broadcast to every troll around.... ??? |
it's an honor system nothing more. |
There were many people involved in that thread and there is no "mass IM" ability that I know of on this site. How else would you propose we discuss it? |
Then considering we have dishonorable people with access to the Team Forum I suppose I shall have to limit my sharing with other members. This sucks. |
team members are nothing more than general members with 25.00 or so. remember that and all will be clear. the site has gotten so big the honor code becomes less and less realistic. 
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A lot of good people have left because of this issue.
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The problem wasn't just PM. You were a great deal of the problem. How on earth could you not see the mud you were slinging? Patty |
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Mud? I said specifically that I wasn't accusing any of y'all of being bad parents. I was trying to assert my belief that you do not have to have a child to understand how to raise a child. In fact, the man who originally posed the question hasn't had children. He is trying to figure out how to integrate with a woman who does have a child. I have been in that very situation and was giving him advice. PM came in and commented on how people who haven't raised kids shouldn't give advice about them. I took offense at that, and rightfully so I feel, because I AM a childless woman giving advice. Again, please tell me what mud I was slinging. I can disagree with someone and present my point without making it personal. |
If you don't believe what you said in many cases was mean and nasty than you're blind. Patty |
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Mean and nasty? Blind? NOW who's slinging mud? I did go back and read it and I specifically reiterated in several posts that I was not questioning any of y'all's parenting skills... just the idea that if you haven't had a child you should keep your mouth shut about raising children. I never said anything derogatory about any of y'all. I cited examples, in fact, of people who aren't even on this board. While rereading it I do think we were all a lot closer to being on the same page than it appeared at the time but I still think it's BULLSHIT that a person who hasn't had a child should stay mum on this issue considering the number of bad parents out there. It still does NOT excuse PMM taking personal information that I shared in the Team Forum and using it to try to discredit me. |
MM post was logical and well thought out. Her points did not sling mud, they may have caused people to think about an emotional topic, but they were not accusatory. One of the problems of posting like this is you cannot view the nuances in facial expression, body position or vice tone. Children need guidance, wisdom and discipline. Unfortunately the people least equipped are having kids. When people feel boxed in they make it personal. That is unfortunate because I did not see anything MM said as a personal attack. At most it was the hard truth. |