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Posted: 4/2/2006 10:39:48 PM EDT
My baby boy is three weeks old, he is clean, dry, fed, burped, bounced, rocked, snuggled, all within the last thirty minutes, so...why is he still crying??? It is 1:30 am, I have to get up at 8:00 for work, he is due to eat in one hour. Then the whole process begins again.

I'm ready to go sleep on the roof.

Right now the only thing I want more than sleep is a smoke. Is there anything in life better than a cigarette? You know when the kids are screaming for your attention hour after hour doing the, "I need, I need, give me, give me, I need" matra. And you finally get the house quiet, what is better than stepping outside, shutting out everyone and just doing something just for you. That first drag hits and for five minutes it is all about you and this great feeling. Oh yeah, I know cigarettes smell bad and they will kill you, but fuck, they are fucking great.

(rant over)
Uzi Grl

Link Posted: 4/3/2006 4:13:25 AM EDT
I hope things settled down for you.
It is rather aggravating when you know nothing is wrong and they still cry for you. All part of being a newborn I guess.
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 5:26:43 AM EDT
Do you use a pacifier?

I used to swaddle Jamie up nice and snug, stick the pacifier in and then rock him and pat his bottom until he fell asleep. My husband was impressed, the baby never used to last more than five minutes.

The baby swing was a Godsend too, once he was a few months old, he'd fall asleep in it in the early evening and we'd end up going to bed and leaving him in it (I don't believe in waking the baby up if it's not absolutely necessary) where he'd sleep most of the night - went through batteries like crazy though.

It's early days, he'll settle down.
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 6:29:15 AM EDT
NOTHING worked for my now fairly angelic 2 1/2 yr old at that age except being held. NOTHING. Some of it is personality. Hope it's some consolation that this will eventually be over. I slept with my son, and that gave me some peace, but you have to be careful, removing pillows and such from the bed and he still had to eat in the night, on HIS schedule... not some regular schedule. They go through growing spurts.

Go to attachmentparenting.org (I think that is the right link) for safety considerations if you want sleep with your baby.
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 7:01:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Ginger:
Do you use a pacifier?

I used to swaddle Jamie up nice and snug, stick the pacifier in and then rock him and pat his bottom until he fell asleep. My husband was impressed, the baby never used to last more than five minutes.

The baby swing was a Godsend too, once he was a few months old, he'd fall asleep in it in the early evening and we'd end up going to bed and leaving him in it (I don't believe in waking the baby up if it's not absolutely necessary) where he'd sleep most of the night - went through batteries like crazy though.

It's early days, he'll settle down.



Another fan of the swaddling here....My son (also a Jamie!!!!) slept beautifully when swaddled in his blanket cocoon. He never cared for the pacifier, though. He preferred to use ME as his pacifier....
Trust me...it's easy right now. I'd go back to poopy diapers and 3 AM feedings in a heartbeat over the walkie talkie hellspawn they can become once their nuerons begin firing on all pistons!
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 7:20:51 AM EDT
Another Jamie! How sweet!

I used to like the middle of the night feedings. I wasn't sleeping well at that point anyway and while I was up with the baby, I didn't feel so alone. He started sleeping right through at about 2 1/2-3 months though, which lasted until he started walking.

Link Posted: 4/3/2006 9:34:53 AM EDT
Is he gassy? try putting a couple of drops of mylicon in his bottle or if you bf in his mouth. Is he drawing his knees up to his stomach or arching his back? maybe he has tummy issues. That is why my twins screamed all the time at that age. we put them on an easier to digest formula.
I have a 3 week old as well btw! Put him on a hypoallergenic formula after 4 days of him screaming constantly and he is a happy little man. He hardly cries unless he's hungry. However he is in NICU so even if he did cry they just let him lay there and scream.
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 10:03:37 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/3/2006 10:04:51 AM EDT by MrsMonk]
+1 on the swaddling and drops for gassy tummies. Maybe get a ring sling and carry the baby in that. Mine always loved to be in the sling. Sometimes it just takes time for their systems to get used to everything. If you breastfeed you might want to starting keeping a list of what you eat and see if there is any connection with the fussiness. If you use formula you may consider trying one of the special formulas. We've had to use Nutramigen with my youngest - but I'd ask for samples from the pediatrician first - that stuff is expensive! Reflux is another thing to consider. Sometimes they will grow out of that quickly and sometimes it takes some meds to help them be more comfortable until they do.

Good luck!

-MrsMonk


ETA: Another thing ... they usually go through growth spurts at about 3 wks. That can make 'em hungrier.
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 10:11:35 AM EDT
+ 1 on Nutramigen. All 3 of my kids have been on it.
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 11:04:42 AM EDT

Originally Posted By ladybug:
He hardly cries unless he's hungry. However he is in NICU so even if he did cry they just let him lay there and scream.



Link Posted: 4/3/2006 11:17:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/3/2006 11:43:19 AM EDT by Erik_O]
My wife and I are big fans of the DVD "Happiest Baby On The Block" which teaches new parents how to soothe a newborn. The mnemonic device to remember is "The 5 S's":

Shushing
Swaddling
Swinging
Sucking
Side

If you have a newborn or know somebody with a newborn this is an absolute must have. The sense of helplessness that a only a newborn can inspire will be replaced with confidence when you know that you can soothe your baby.

ETA: Another +1 for Mylicon ( un-dyed version ) and something called Gripe Water. Both seem to help with gas.
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 11:38:32 AM EDT

Originally Posted By MrsMonk:
+1 on the swaddling and drops for gassy tummies. Maybe get a ring sling and carry the baby in that. Mine always loved to be in the sling. Sometimes it just takes time for their systems to get used to everything. If you breastfeed you might want to starting keeping a list of what you eat and see if there is any connection with the fussiness. If you use formula you may consider trying one of the special formulas. We've had to use Nutramigen with my youngest - but I'd ask for samples from the pediatrician first - that stuff is expensive! Reflux is another thing to consider. Sometimes they will grow out of that quickly and sometimes it takes some meds to help them be more comfortable until they do.

Good luck!

-MrsMonk


ETA: Another thing ... they usually go through growth spurts at about 3 wks. That can make 'em hungrier.



Excellent! I'd forgotton about the gassy stuff (been awhile) and yes, what you eat WILL affect them if you're nursing.

I learned the hard way that Blooming Onions + nursing = tired mommy and gassy baby!
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 11:47:02 AM EDT
3 weeks! HAH! My son was like that until he was 4 months old. I tried everything that my mom, mother-in-law, and doctor suggested. He'd be fine in my arms, then the second I tried to put him down, he'd wake up to scream all over again.

I'd heat hot water bottles, and put them in his crib so it was nice and warm and the cold sheets wouldn't wake him up. I tried music, rocking, singing, dancing (swaying back and forth). My husband worked 2 jobs, he was never home, and when he was he slept through it all. Will would finally get to sleep around 5AM, and sleep all morning, thank God. He was also a sucker, but wouldn't take the pacifier. (and I didn't really want him to). But he'd nurse at the breast for hours if I let him..just sucking and sucking. boys. go figure.

He outgrew it at about 4-5 months old. It's all a blur now. The doc said he was "colicky", and that you just have to ride it out sometimes.



Link Posted: 4/3/2006 11:55:41 AM EDT
What the hell kind of company do you work for that you have to be at work when your baby is three weeks old?
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 12:02:30 PM EDT
my usual reply of "yet another reason i dont have kids" doesnt seem too funny right about now


i just hope you were able to soothe him and both of you got some sleep
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 12:14:12 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Ginger:

Originally Posted By ladybug:
He hardly cries unless he's hungry. However he is in NICU so even if he did cry they just let him lay there and scream.






Won't they let you stay and soothe him or anything? That is so pitiful; makes me want to cry.
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 1:06:15 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daydreamer:

Originally Posted By Ginger:

Originally Posted By ladybug:
He hardly cries unless he's hungry. However he is in NICU so even if he did cry they just let him lay there and scream.






Won't they let you stay and soothe him or anything? That is so pitiful; makes me want to cry.



oh yeah I could stay 24/7 if I wanted to - but unfortunately I have to split my time between him and my 3 yo twins. Luckily he doesn't cry much - just if he is hungry. I stayed the night over the weekend to see how he was and he pretty much slept unless it was feeding time.

And Gripe Water - a huge +1 but the Canadian kind, not the US kind worked for my kids. Different ingredients.
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 1:26:05 PM EDT

Originally Posted By UZIgrl:
My baby boy is three weeks old, he is clean, dry, fed, burped, bounced, rocked, snuggled, all within the last thirty minutes, so...why is he still crying??? It is 1:30 am, I have to get up at 8:00 for work, he is due to eat in one hour. Then the whole process begins again.

I'm ready to go sleep on the roof.

Right now the only thing I want more than sleep is a smoke. Is there anything in life better than a cigarette? You know when the kids are screaming for your attention hour after hour doing the, "I need, I need, give me, give me, I need" matra. And you finally get the house quiet, what is better than stepping outside, shutting out everyone and just doing something just for you. That first drag hits and for five minutes it is all about you and this great feeling. Oh yeah, I know cigarettes smell bad and they will kill you, but fuck, they are fucking great.

(rant over)
Uzi Grl




If this is when you lay him down after all the feeding and snuggling:

Try wearing a blanket the baby sleeps with wrapped across your breasts and under your arms. Work up a sweat if you can, (no bra) I know it sounds yuck, but babies are yucky. They love the smell of mommy. Don't wash it or you will have to go through the whole process again. Maybe have two in case one gets really disgusting. I had six kids, and when they are tiny, sometimes they fall for this, your there in the senses that seem to be working the most on them.
If your still holding him...

As far as the cigarette goes, I hear ya.
After 6 kids, there have been days I truely would have walked a mile for a camel so to speak, or at least pretended I was. Who am I kidding, to get away from the little animals, I'd run.
I have 6 grandkids now, and don't get me wrong, I don't hate children, I just like them better in pictures. I really like them over the phone, and I adore them asleep at someone elses house.

Link Posted: 4/3/2006 3:03:51 PM EDT
Hang in there. My Grandmother told me once that sometimes babies just cry and when they do the best thing you can do is wrap it up like a burrito, make yourself a cup of tea and relax. Its no fun, trust me but sometimes little ones just have to figure out what makes them happy themselves. As long as you're with them and you know they're fine, then the rest is up to them.

My youngest would fuss himself to sleep everytime [still does and he's 7]. He just wasn't happy and misery loves company I guess.

Give your baby a little peck on the forehead for me. Try try to get some rest. Hang in there.

Patty

PS Sometimes times like these are DAD TIME!
Link Posted: 4/3/2006 10:05:58 PM EDT
Thanks for all the great ideas, I will be trying them all one at a time during his next crying jag.

I can't blame the company I work for, it was 100% my idea to go back to work so fast...I only work part time, but you get used to the money. Plus it gives my husband some super dad time!

The little guy had a much better day today and I am still a nonsmoker, so thanks again!
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 7:54:46 AM EDT
Funny - I read your post, thought oh I'm so glad my 3 week old hasn't gone through that phase...went to visit him at NICU and......

yup!! crying fit for the first time. We were trying everything to calm him down but he was just not a happy camper. I had to think of you!
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 8:07:57 AM EDT
No clue here... but then again, ain't that wimmin's work?
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 8:09:12 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 8:16:16 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
Baby? I'm just trying to get my dog to sleep later so she won't wake me up before 9 in the morning by barking.

I will say that if you've already quit smoking and you're just jonesing for one, don't do it.



to me, sleeping until 9 AM is the equivalent of a massage and a "happy ending."

Link Posted: 4/4/2006 10:09:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PlaymoreMinds:

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
Baby? I'm just trying to get my dog to sleep later so she won't wake me up before 9 in the morning by barking.

I will say that if you've already quit smoking and you're just jonesing for one, don't do it.



to me, sleeping until 9 AM is the equivalent of a massage and a "happy ending."




Yeah, PM would have a cigarette after that one.
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 11:36:53 AM EDT
Sleep? What's that? I'm not familiar with this thing you call "sleep". -MrsMonk
Link Posted: 4/4/2006 8:05:54 PM EDT
Ladybug- I hope all is well with your little one! I'll pray for you and your family.

I quit smoking 10 months ago...just craving one like crazy lately! But I can't give in to it, my daughter is very allergic to cigarette smoke, God has a sense of humor.

My little one is taking four ounces of formula!!!!!!! I can almost see a full nights sleep in my future.

Thanks again for all the support. If I go to bed right now, I might get three hours before his next feeding. Must log off of this very addictive website.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 7:41:01 AM EDT
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 10:53:32 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Zhukov:

Originally Posted By UZIgrl:
I can't blame the company I work for, it was 100% my idea to go back to work so fast...I only work part time, but you get used to the money. Plus it gives my husband some super dad time!



Is that what's best for your baby though? When you're old, will you say "I wish I'd had spent more time at work"? Or are you more likely to say "I wish I had spent more time with my kids"?

Most babies have *something* that will soothe them - you need to find what it is. Our son was a perfect little angel. Our daughter would only respond to very rigorous rocking back and forth and was a bigtime cryer. Sometimes, nothing else works and you just have to stick with it and be tired, sleep when you can - bad news when there's a job involved.



I know this is a little off topic, but you just struck a nerve that I just have to respond to. So many men seem to think it's great for a mother to stay home with a child, yet many complain about a woman doing just that.

Like all they are after is a wallet, not the kind of man who will acknowledge that the accomplishments of women who take care of the home are worth something. I see it this way... Since there are so many divorces in this day, it seems that a lot of men are living in homes where OTHER men's children are being raised; they resent having their wife stay home to raise ANOTHER man's child, but most likely, these same men have children being raised in another household.

Perhaps, guys could get together and say, "I want my kids raised at home; you want your kids raised at home. Let's take up the financial load and get it done." This from a stay-at-home mom who thinks staying at home is the toughest (though most rewarding) job she's ever had. It's been tempting to put mine in daycare and get a job, because, frankly, it is easier and would give me a much-needed respite.
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 1:17:53 PM EDT

Originally Posted By daydreamer:
This from a stay-at-home mom who thinks staying at home is the toughest (though most rewarding) job she's ever had.



I'll second that. I worked two or three jobs before I had kids and nothing was this demanding. (OR This rewarding!)
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 1:35:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/5/2006 1:43:07 PM EDT by Zhukov]
Link Posted: 4/5/2006 2:33:47 PM EDT
I think the majority of good fathers would agree with you Zhukov. Staying home with my kids has been the toughest job I have ever done.

Patty
Link Posted: 4/7/2006 11:07:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/7/2006 11:09:15 AM EDT by 2whiskeyP]
I got to experience this for the first time last night. I stayed up pretty much all night with my (and ladybugs) newborn in the NICU. He was just miserable with tummy issues. It was a long night but when he finally went to sleep he was just the cutest thing I had ever seen.
Link Posted: 4/7/2006 4:58:03 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/7/2006 5:02:52 PM EDT by FITTER]

Originally Posted By UZIgrl:
they will kill you



You're right. Good job you quit; you owe it to your baby to be there for him.
Link Posted: 4/9/2006 8:28:08 PM EDT


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally Posted By UZIgrl:
I can't blame the company I work for, it was 100% my idea to go back to work so fast...I only work part time, but you get used to the money. Plus it gives my husband some super dad time!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Is that what's best for your baby though? When you're old, will you say "I wish I'd had spent more time at work"? Or are you more likely to say "I wish I had spent more time with my kids"?




She only works 20-22 hours a week in a nursery that she can bring the kids with her if she desires. (I'm her husband, BTW) She had a cesarian, stayed 2 nights in the hospital and went back to work in like ten days after the surgery. All her choice, she won't listen to me! And on top of that, we live on the third floor! I truly pity da fool who ever decides to fuck with my wife. Not for what I'd do, but for her wrath!

As far as the kids are concerned, I am lucky to have a job that gives me three days off one week and four days off the next week. I spend 99.9% of that with my kids. The only way I could spend more time with my kids is if I were independently wealthy. UZIgrl is not at work much, and it gives her a small break from the stresses of the kids (albeit a small one while watching other people's kids!) And she really likes the people she works with. So, in answer to your question,yes it really is best for the baby. Both of my kids are being raised by BOTH of their parents, and my wife is still afforded a limited social existence that is aslo financially benificial.
Link Posted: 4/10/2006 6:31:25 AM EDT
I was a pain in the ass as a baby..... I would cry and cry.... The ONLY thing that worked to shut me up..... Driving... My parents would pack me up and go for a drive (no matter the time) My dad had to be at work at 4 in the morning.... Poor guy.. sometimes NO sleep for him... But the driving would put me out in about 15 min.....

when my son was a baby I would put him in his car seat and rock/shake it on the floor simulating being in the car I guess... That calmed him down enough to sleep.... He spent many a night in that thing.....

Hope it gets better for you soon!!!

(just remember that your little one will face it as a parent too! that should make you feel better!!!)
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