A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The
waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries
and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same,"
says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order, "That will be
$9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact
change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A
hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two come back on Friday night. "The
usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak,
baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his
pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket
every time?"

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just
put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be
there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress.

"Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll
always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Ah, the ol' careful what you wish for joke! Nice one.

From an e-mail:

A three-year-old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mom," he asked, "are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

LOL...  two good ones...  thanks for the giggles, y'all.

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