[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Restraining Order HELP (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 4/8/2008 7:34:29 PM EDT
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Okay here these story.. My GF of many years that i've been dating since highschool and i got into a fight ( she cheated on me). I get in a Verbal fight with her and she stops talking to me. I get pissed off about the whole situation so i left the state and went to Seattle. While i'm in seattle someone breaks her car window when she was out somewhere and tries to steal her Stereo. Her B!tch freinds convince that it was me..( even though i'm 400miles away and have no clue where the car is) They convice my GF that i put a GPS tracker..etc. Later on my GF tells her friends that i carry a glock everywhere i go(CCL). These yuppies trip out and start telling her that i might kill her and all this stuff. The tell her that she should get a Restraining Order against me so i cant hurt her ( lol, some B.S. ..if some one was crazy enough to take physical action a Restraining Order wont help). She got one on Friday. So anyways, the police are coming to my house in oregon everyday trying to serve my Restraining Order. Because of that i'm staying in Seattle because i'm not signing something i dont deserve. I eventually talk my GF out of her psychoness via phone and we make up. Today She goes to the courthouse and tries to remove the Restraining Order and the judge said they cant not untill 60 days.. WTF! it makes no sence. everything is normal now and they still wont take it off. As of now. -The police havent issued me the Restraining Order because i'm not around -GF and I talk, makeup sex etc.. (everything is back to normal) -Judge will not allow her to drop it untill 60days from friday I dunno what i should do, I dont want my perfect record to be messed up because of this. I also do not want to let the police issue me the Restraining Order because it's non sence. Most importantly I was about to pick up a Yugo underfold and now i dont know. What do you think i should do, i dont want this on my record. can i fight the Restraining Order since she wasnt in the right mind (PMS) and her friends convinced her to do it? Thanks guys, I really need this help I made an appointment with a lawyer but thats in 1 week and thats too long i cant be hiding for that long |
I know that, but this girl means everything to me. we've been together for so long and 2 month at the university hanging out with the wrong ppl and she gets messed up. I know she would have never done it if she wasnt with them and if she wasnt on her period ( she's 19 doesnt even know how big of a deal a restraining order is.) If all fails can i counter sue or something? |
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Who are you going to sue? Your GF? Right now you are in violation of it, in the eyes of the law. Anything that goes thru the courts isn't going ANYWHERE, it's basically a permanent record unless it's expunged and even then.....................it's SOMEWHERE. Yes it can be lifted, however you don't really understand what these things can do to you down the road, especially if it happens again and again. |
well she's still calling and text me.. So she can contact me but i cant contact her back |
The whole 60 day waiting period to drop it is to show all parties that a restraining order isn't something to swear out lightly. The restraining order hasn't been served on you, but she could technically be in violation of said restraining order by being with you. I have locked up women in the past for being in violation of restraining orders they've taken out on their boyfriends/husbands. Get called out to a fight. Find out there's a restraining order. Said female is in violation. Female goes to jail. That being said, do you expect a smooth ride for the next 60 days? If the law gets invited to your life and finds out there is a restraining order out, you would be served, and there is a chance your gf could be taken for violating the restraining order. As for the whole blaming her behavior on friends and her period, sounds like you are making excuses for her. Is this what she told you? If she's that affected by opinions of her so called friends, you either need to dump her or for her to get new friends. You obviously care about her. Hopefully she does return the same amount of care/love given to her. |
| she's one of those hella naive girls, she doesnt even know what the RR is. She thinks it's some kind of warning. I'm still confused how the heck a judge would issue one with out evaluating the situation first. Cant i have them drop it, i'm still confused how they can issue one with out any proof or evaluating her understanding of this. Because if she truely understood what it was she would have not called my after that to tell me she issued one(becaus thats against the law) or still contact me and visit me. |
She never new there was a 60days wait time, they never told her that. because she said she wanted to put it out for a few days for some space. As for the period thing ive been with her long enough to know. she has the most craziest PMS she's in bed 2days out of everymonth and has the craziest mood swings. The rest of the month she's the most perfect girl. But mostly she's mentally like a kid, she is super convinced by anyone. |
She told the Judge you had GUNS and she was afraid you might hurt her. Most judges would probably issue one if for no more reason then CYA if something did happen. All I'll say is you are playing with fire with a short stick. The next time she gets pissed at you whats she going to do? Yelling match=arrested. Arguement=arrested, sooner or later you'll bewondering why NICs is turning you down. |
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well i obviously care about her.. but not more than i care about my self... i'm not dumb. With that being said I will take any option to get this off my record. Since i have not read the RR, how can i play it safe by having her violate it? what does she have to do. For example she called me last night and told me to come over for the night. Also what happen if she breaks it. how big of a crime will she be charged? a day in jail? a fine? |
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Stop what you are doing right now. This has very bad mojo written all over it. The safest way to play this is to stop talking to her, talk to a lawyer, shut up and discuss this with NO ONE except said lawyer (up to and including the Lord Jesus himself), and making sure you are on your best damned behavior. If you've even considered the possibility of intentionally getting her to violate her own RO ("how can i play it safe by having her violate it"), you have no clue as to what you're doing and in all likelyhood this will blow up in your face. It doesn't matter what happens if she breaks it, because the smart thing to do is realize her life is no longer your concern. If you proceed any other way, you're only asking for trouble. No text messages to her or her friends or anyone else you both know to try to talk to her, no phone calls, e-mails, letters, smoke signals, telegraphed morse code, whatever. You can't fix stupid, so don't even try. PS, I know legal advise can be expensive. Suck it up, and decide what it's all worth to you in the long run. ETA: To emphasize with the below poster WATCH AND LEARN |
E J E C T !!
E J E C T !___E J E C T !_____NOW!! |
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Exellent advice to seek advice from an attorney. The ramifications of a Restraining Order can be extreme, particular in regards to the right to own firearms. As for her violating the order, I believe that in Oregon even if she invites you over to her place, if the police come you are still in violation of the order. Her actions can not invalidate it and it is a restraint upon you and your presence, not her. If the cops come, you would be in violation, not her, and you will be the one spending the night in jail. Only a judge can remove and invalidate the restraining order. This is a time bomb waiting to blow up. You can contest it in court, but talk to a lawyer first, before trying anything, and stay clear of her until it is resolved. I'm not licensed in Oregon, but am fairly confident in the above. Check with a member of the Oregon Bar before relying on it however. |
+ 1 Don't think with your cock, use your brain! The one in your skull. GET OUT NOW! |
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Walk away and get a lawyer. She fucked you good. You just have no idea right now because you are enabling her. You are in a sick relationship. No matter what you think or say. In a "normal" relationship people don't throw restraining orders into the mix unless there are serious problems mentally or physically. The fact she saw this as an option means she is nuts. You making excuses for her behaviour is nuts. If she was your wife, I would say one last chance, since she isn't, you need to walk. Sorry. |
+1 |
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just great!, im pretty much f'd than. i dont even have the copy of the restraining order because i still have not been served so i dont know. As for a lawyer i'm 21 years old, no job , full time engr student with dept. i contacted the local school law office and they set me up for an appointment after a week. I swear she went psycho over night like from white to black. when i look at her face i see a totaly differnt person. I tried to tell her she's possessed and pray to the lord to remove the demons and thats one of the things she told the judge. To add to that i dont date crazy ppl, she's just clueless on all this shit she's doing. she never knew what a restraining order was untill last week. I dunno i might go see the judge because. one of the main reasons why i think she filed it was i was going to her place of employment at the university and let them know how she's been stealing from them. So she called campus security on me before i could talk to her boss. I later tried to persuade the thing over the phone when i was in Seattle and she went to get the RR. she ended up telling the judge it was needed so it will protect her from me and protect that i do not put her nude pics online(freedom of press?) and left out the fact that i was trying to report her. I think if i go explain to them that one of the reasons was so that she protects her self from me reporting her crime, that has to work. There must be a law on that. eeeeh, now i'm going to have to sell my M4 and Saiga 12 to pay for a lawyer Also is it true that since the police has not served me the RR, She can still contact me. ?? That sounds BS, she said the judge said that she can call me but i cant call back Also the stupid fact is she didnt read any of the documents for the RR before signing it... Aaargh dumb ppl, and ppl talk about lowering the age of consent  eeh if this was in iraq i would just take her back to her family and ask back the dowry |
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Call a lawyer back in Oregon, asking about it here is a waste of time. However restraining orders work in Oregon, they sure don't work that way in NY (she could not have gotten one here without charging you with a crime). Also you are a fool to consider getting back together with this woman. edit if this was Iraq her family would have made you marry her 
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The most lame "he grabbed my wrist", "he pushed me" is misdemeanor domestic violence assault. They will prosecute often even if she doesn't want to "press charges" later on because they'll have the 911 tape, the DA can use it without her present and sometimes they'll even get a "material witness" warrant for her to force her to testify. Losing your Second Amendment rights for LIFE for some woman who is proven unreliable is 'tard card qualifying. I have NEVER seen anyone have their gun rights restored after a misdemeanor domestic violence conviction. [If anybody has, please explain how it was done ]Note: I don't know squat about Oregon law, but loss of gun rights for a misd. DV conviction is a FEDERAL law. See your 4473. |
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Smartest move is, GET RID OF HER RIGHT NOW!!! I spent over 20k getting rid of a bullshit restraining order my ex filed on me, when she got fired for embezzling money from the company she worked for and tried to blame me for her embezzling money. If your not up to spending 10-20k and have a chance of having your guns taken, and maybe losing your second amendment rights for LIFE. GET RID OF THE RETARDED LITTLE BITCH RIGHT NOW AND ALL HER STUPID PIECE OF SHIT FRIENDS!!! I got rid of my ex, she's doing 10-20 years in prison and many of her friend have the IRS climbing in and out of their assholes (2 already lost their homes) |
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If you stay with this girl your problems are just beginning. To sum things up: dating since high school, she cheated on me, got into a fight, GF tells her friends that I carry a glock everywhere I go, GF gets a Restraining Order, GF and I talk, makeup sex etc.. (everything is back to normal)  You need to read up on the Lautenberg Act and understand that with just a misdemeanor conviction for domestic violence it makes it a felony to ship, transport, possess, or receive firearms or ammunition. You don't need this much drama over some pie, back out now and CYA. Unfortunately history shows that you will ignore this advice because "This is different", "I love her", "She'll change" or one of several hundred other excuses. |
+1. Any one of her offenses would put her out of my life forever. |
Damn boy, you need to reread your post, you have just answered your own Q's... It sounds more like you be BSing yourself on this one, stealing,psycho,cheating, lying, putting an RO on you, AND her being 19....... She now has the taste of blood and you be her VICTIM.. She just found out how easy it was to get an RO on you and she'd do it again in a heart beat...... Everyone on this board has been saying the samething, GET THE FUCK OUT..... Just my 2 cents, good luck.... Victory BTW: I own page 2 |
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You had better listen to some of the people above, you have no clue as to what that little piece of paper can do to you. While technically it has not been served to you as of yet, that does not mean it won't come back to haunt you. Right now you're playing with your future firearm rights, is she worth never owning a firearm again? Quit blaming this action on PMS, this is vindictiveness on her part and tho she's sorry now, the next time [and there WILL be a next time] she'll do it again. You have no idea what you are opening yourself up to with this gal, by the time you do, you will either lose 80% of your stuff or you'll lose your right to own a firearm. There are guys who have old DV [I mean real old]/convictions [from 50 years ago]/or just court proceedings that, because of computers are now being rejected on NICS checks. Some get worked out, others, well, the guys are screwed basically forever unless they have a sizable financial base to work with to hire lawyers. If crazy pie is worth it as far as losing your "rights" firearm wise, and what you earn while married AND retirement investments, [after 7 or 10years [I think] she's entitled to 50% of your retirement funds]then keep dating her. Find a non crazy non bi polar girl, you'll be MUCH happier in the long run. Been there, done that, it isn't worth it, PERIOD. Or don't listen and spend the rest of your life kicking yourself in the the arse. Your choice, your life. Choose wisely. |
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Here are some more reasons to pull the eject handle: Firearm rights aside, you're an engineering student. Well, you're talking to another engineer (BSEE 1991). Some of the best jobs in your field are with DoD contractors. This means you need to be squeaky clean for the security clearance investigation. So, your girlfriend is not only jeopardizing your firearm rights, she's potentially limiting your career opportunities. This piece of pie ain't worth the price. Also, don't think for a second that your gf will change should you make the bad decision to get married. People typically are on their best behavior while they're dating, because the other person has the option to walk out at any time. After marriage and kids, it's much more difficult (and expensive) to bail out of a relationship. There are plenty of sane, sensible, smart, well-educated women out there. You're only 21 and (I'm assuming) pretty close to graduation. Ditch the gf, graduate, get a decent job, and find some (relatively) normal pie. Just my $.02. |
Yeah , this one is hopeless. The only defense against this kind of self-inflicted public tragedy/drama/martyrdom is a cynical sense of humor. Which makes this all pretty funny .... in a pathetic kind of way. 
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I want to EJECT All i care is to get this shit of my record. I have worked so hard for the post perfect record ever. No Criminal, Driving or even a Parking ticket. My record is spotless and i'm going to keep it spotless. These are my 2 options A- Hire a lawyer ($$$) and contest the RO, and keep hiding from the LEO so i dont have to sign the RO. or B- Work together with the exGirl so that she will undo her mistake. ( she's going i'm sorry i didnt think it's like this, i'll do help you remove it... The judge told her it doesn't affect me unless i break the RO, but i will not belive that.. all the Engr internships that i did perfomed full background checks and stuff like this will mess my future up) Once i get her to clean up her mess.. Then I EJECT and never have contact with her. I would like to take B, because , She is wanting to work to get the RO off and it's not going to cost me money that i dont have |
He hasn't been served. I don't know how he could be in violation of a court order that was not served. That would violate due process. |
for those that asked, this the only pics i could find that i had saved on FB
Yup, thats why i've been away because i dont want to get served. because as of now i dont even know what on the RO |
The statute for getting the RO served is probably a few years. Don't know how you are going to live off the grid for that long. ETA: She's cute, but no woman is worth jeopardizing your future career and your right to own firearms. If you can pull off Option B, more power to you. 60 days means at least 2 PMS episodes you'll have to endure though. |
| Get a lawyer now and fight the restraining order. Right now you are just avoiding the damn thing. Also, leave the supposed girlfriend, she is nothing but trouble for you from now on. Document the fact that you were not in the area when her car was damaged. You're looking at some serious problems coming at you. |
+1 You'll have a lotta drama in your life as long as she's around. |
The damaged car as far as i know was never offially reported to the police. just mentioned to the judge a week later for the RO. as far as i know she could have done it her self |
Call me paraniod but right now would not be the time to be posting pictures of your gun collection. If it was me I would clean any thing you have online that could be used against you. |
He is a very foolish person. Many people here are trying to help him but he continues to dig his own grave. The eject handle is close by but I'm afraid he will hit the ground nose first before he reaches for it. Sad indeed. |
The OP acknowledges in a public forum that he is aware that there is a restraining order, so he is in violation of it by possessing the publicly displayed firearms that he owns. Granted, he can play dumb and say that he did not know one existed, but he's taking that chance.
+1 |
Even if your gf is willing to help "clean up her mess", you need an attorney. From Oregon State Bar - Restraining Orders and Domestic Violence:
ETA: Sell the guns for market value, use the $ to pay for your attorney. Hopefully you have receipts (gas, restaurant, CC/DC transactions, etc) or other evidence to prove you really were 400 miles away when your gf alleges the abuse occurred. |