Posted: 12/24/2009 5:10:56 AM EDT
WTF is up with these retarded fucking t-shirt companies charging $28.00-$35.00 for a MOTHERFUCKING T-SHIRT. Are there actually moronic fucktards out there that are PAYING over $20.00 for a fucking t-shirt? Have you brainless pricks smoked yourself retarded??? I mean, who among you fuckers would actually pay $35.00 for this fucking shirt??
$28.00+$7.00 shipping. Yet another example of the lack of imagination out there: 
$28.00+$7.00 shipping. FUCKING $35.00 for a black t-shirt with five words on it!??! WTMFF!??!?!??!??!?! Ohhhh motherfuckers...I'm not even fucking done yet. These cocksmokers are almost the fucking worst, by far: T-SHIRT HELL. T-SHIRT HELL is what you get when you add shitty art+stealing somebody's idea from a bumper sticker and finish it off with a fucking retarded-ass high shipping prices. Sadly, these stupid fucks have been in business for far too long and helped set the bar for selling shitty products at super-inflated prices. Take a look at this fucking gem: 
$21.00+$3,000. shipping. That's right....FUCKING $3,000. shipping. Why? Because they can...and due to their viral email-marketing campaign and photos of random celebs wearing their dogshit products, you feel "cool" or "amongst the l33t" because you're wearing that "I fucked your mom" t-shirt that Ron Jeremy is pictured wearing. FUCK YOU, FUCK T-SHIRT HELL, and FUCK (well, Ron Jeremy is pretty cool, no matter who you are). But...the biggest group of assholes on the planet, are the fan base that keep these motherfuckers in business: THE MODERN, MIXED MARTIAL ARTS T-SHIRT MAKERS. That's right. I extend a gigantic middle finger of death, doom, and disgust to the 15-35 year old male that keeps these assholes in business. Yeah...you know the fuck you are––––you're one of these guys; guys that are so fucking stupid, that they can't even SPELL "M.M.A.", much less truly understand it. Identities hidden, to protect the chronically fucking stoooopid that contribute to the problem: 
That's right...count yourselves among the brain dead if you're one of these stoopid fuckers. MORONIC FUCKTARDS....thy name is AFFLICTION! Wait...am I being too harsh? I mean...I should give these guys a break, eh? I mean...it's not like that I'm paying for a shirt with an athlete's face or name on it? Or even a shirt with a famous athlete's number from his jersey and team colors which cost is laden with licensing fees? WAKE THE FUCK UP....You're wearing a SHITTY FUCKING ADVERTISEMENT FOR A BRAND NAME. 
But again...how much could a business charge somebody who is brain-dead enough to be a walking billboard for their company? I mean even $20.00 would be like sticking it in their asses, breaking it off, and then packing 20 feet of concrete behind it....but ohhhh no. Let's punish the chronically fucking stupid a little bit more...so I put it to you again: How much could you reasonably charge the "stoned fucking stupid crowd" for this t-shirt? $25.00? $28.00 (like the shitty zombie shirts pictured above?) $40.00?? 
HELL FUCKING NO....THIS FUCKING MODERN ART MASTERPIECE RETAILS FOR $74.00 MOTHERFUCKING DOLLARS!!!!!!!  AND I BLAME YOU STUPID BASTARDS, BECAUSE I'M FUCKING POSITIVE THAT THERE ARE THOSE AMONG YOU WHO FUCKING ACTUALLY PAID THAT MUCH FOR A STUPID, FUCKING-TSHIRT. Oh...and let's not forget $8.50 for POUND ME IN THE ASS SHIPPING+HANDLING. FUCKING $83.00 FOR A SHITTY FUCKING T-SHIRT?!!! HOW CAN THESE MOTHERFUCKERS STAY IN BUSINESS!?!? Oh wait....it's in large part due to a STUPID FUCKING FAN BASE. My God....IDIOCRACY'S prediction of the intellectual decline of our country is damn near complete. You stupid fuckers make me sick. I need a fucking drink and it's only 9:00AM.
FUUUUUUCK! Due to request, I'm adding the *other* breed of dumbass that helps keep the t-shirt business in full swing. I don't so much as blame drugs...or being naive. I believe that these people STAY DRUNK for at least 23/24 hours a day. THESE ARE THE HARLEY-SHIRT PEOPLE. And there are two sub-breeds of jackass that we're dealing with here: THOSE THAT ACTUALLY DRIVE A $25-40,000. motorcycle (which also includes a sub-sub-breed who owns a used, $7,500. Harley Sportster, who are generally sneered upon by Harley purists––if there is such a thing), and THOSE WHO JUST WEAR THE T-SHIRT FOR ITS IMAGE. It's one thing to pay for an overpriced, over-loud, $30,000. leak-machine, but to pimp its name when you don't even own one of the fucking bikes??! That's just PLAIN FUCKING STUPID. Not to mention the intellectually challenged who pays $42.00+$7.50 shipping for this piece of shit: 
GODDAMN, YOU FUCKING PEOPLE ARE STUPID. Alright...I'm going back to drinking. |
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$21.00+$3,000. shipping. That's right....FUCKING $3,000. shipping. . 10/10 for the rant, but I'm pretty sure this is a typo on the website, not the actual shipping charge..... Yeah––-otherwise I suspect sales would be a trifle low. No...I'm dead fucking serious. $3,000. SHIPPING. It's exaggeration for sure...but they charge some of the highest "shipping+handling+"oh you want your shirt WITHOUT SLEEVES? That'll be 10 EXTRA FUCKING DOLLARS!" |