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Posted: 1/25/2002 2:44:17 PM EDT
Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield. "Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?" "Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts. "Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen. Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. ”Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn? "Show him your cross," says Sister Helen. "Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn. She rolls down the window and shouts, "Get the fuck off the car!"
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 2:55:47 PM EDT
Two sisters left the convent, on the edge of town, riding their bicycles to the market. After riding a while the older nun made a turn down a side street. "Ohhh," the younger nun said, "I've never come this way before." The older sister answers, "It's probably the cobblestones."
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 3:15:27 PM EDT
You will all burn in hell![}:)] LMAO.
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 3:31:26 PM EDT
Two nuns are riding their bicycles to the market. The roads in town are old and not in the best of shape. The younger of the two sisters is apparently having a difficult time dealing with the bumpy ride. Each bump elicits a groan and each pothole a shriek. After a while the elder sister begins to tire of the noise. After one particularly energetic outburst she admonishes the younger sister, "You wouldn't be in this fix if you'd listened to me when I told you to leave the saddle on!"
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 3:31:55 PM EDT
LMAO ....heck, LMAWO (Way Off)
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 4:02:14 PM EDT
You know how to get a Catholic girl to stop screwin'?? Marry her!
Link Posted: 1/25/2002 4:27:44 PM EDT
Father O'Leary is doing confession one Sunday when he realizes he has to pee. He peeks his head out of the confessional and sees a group of altar boys sitting in the pews. He calls out for one and asks the little boy to take his place while he goes to the bathroom. "Whenever they enter, allow them to confess, and using this list, give them the appropriate repentance." There is a list posted on his side of the confessional: "For theft, 6 Hail Marys. For murder, 12 Hail Marys and an hour of silent prayer," and so on. The priest asks, "Do you understand?" The boy nods and proceeds to wait. Along comes a lady who enters the confessional and begins, "Father, it's been two weeks since my last confession." The boy, in a low, manly voice responds, "Yes, go on my child." She tells him that she gave a blow job to a man who was not her husband. The boy scans the list saying to himself, "blow job, blow job, where's the friggin blow job?" Well there's no listing for blow job, so he looks out and whispers to another altar boy, "Hey Tony, what does Father O'Leary give for a blow job?" Tony answers, "A handful of Gummi Bears and a Snickers bar."
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