Posted: 5/22/2009 6:04:51 PM EDT
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It irritates me.
Really bad. So bad that I feel it necessary to kill the flying cocksuckers that stain my trucks paint with their feces and urea with whatever force I have at my disposal. today, it was a shotgun (no gun pics, its raining like a bitch) I was enjoying my tasty Shlitz beverage when one bird was so bold as to land on my lawn. I said to my wife creature, fuck this shit I am going to go kill. So I armed myself and rambo'd into the barn, where I knew this devious little bastard was going to shit his worm and bug dinner out on my truck. 
Like a clock, a dirty feathered shit machine of a clock, he flushed (or she, I don't give a shit, I say he because it was fast and I didn't lead him far enough) and headed right for the corrals, where he broke left and hit the deck. Ah ha, old friend, I know your dirty tricks, and my shotgun is already trained on your escape route 
I quickly drew a bead and let fly, but as I said, he was fast... a worthy target of a drunken sportsman. He fell the ground, knowing the game was up he had no recourse but to let me finish him with a almost well place ground slush that finished him off. 
You tormented me long enough, sir... may you burn in hell. A hell for flying rats like yourself... a terrible one I hope. |
