Posted: 3/10/2009 3:14:47 AM EDT
OK, so I'm going to be moving soon, to a house, a trailer, or who the fuck knows at this point, I'm just disgusted at the whole fucking thing at this point, but in any case when I do get whatever in the fuck it is I'm going to get, I would like to secure my perimeter, particularly around the windows. Well my first choice obviously would be Concertina Wire, Tank Ditches, Fire Trench, Man Traps, Mine Fields, Dragons Teeth, Searchlights, Heatseaking automated miniguns, a Trunk Monkey, The Gimp, Sharks with Frikin' Lasers on there heads, and of course Chuck Norris, but I think I might stand out. So I was thinking more low key, and just plant some really hardy thick thorny bushes below my windows like Natural Razor Wire, trouble is I know next to nothing about plants. So what plants would be a good choice? I'm looking for something really hardy, incredibly dense, and thickly filled with very sharp thorns, Has thorns all year long, reasonably attractive to look at, can grow in South East Michigan, and maybe 3-4 feet high, any ideas?
On a related note are there any attractive, and controllable toxic plant akin o Poison Ivy/Sumac/Oak that could grow amongst the thorns/have thorns of there own? |
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Quoted: Pyracantha. Also known as Fire Thorn. Enraged cattle stay away from that shit. Get stuff with the longest needle sharp thorns. http://www.desert-tropicals.com/Plants/Rosaceae/Pyracantha_coccinea.html Pyracantha is good. I hated having to trim that stuff. Cholla, aka Jumping Cactus is the worst. Probably won't grow in MI. That is the most evil plant ever. Bougainvillea is pretty damned thorny, about as good as pyracantha. |
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Roses. I go for varieties that offer lots and lots of thorns. For a perimeter the barberry works fairly well. I used to have on at a previous house and it was pure evil. My place now is fenced with privet. The privet is planted along a wire fence that will soon be permanently entwined in the bushes. Think "hedgerow". It's far less expensive than privacy fence and because it's a plant it gets around my city's restriction on fence height. The fence is only four feet but the hedge will be a wee bit taller. |
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I have Bougainvilleas planted around my house. The thorns are about an inch long and sharp as hell. They are a bitch to trim so I know I would not want to try to creep through them in the middle of the night to sneak into someones window. I'm not sure they will grow in MI but if you can find them you will be happy.
M |
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Multi-flower rose.
It does have nice flowers in the spring but the combination of sharp thorns and tough stems makes it a plant to stay away from. The US Dept. of Ag. used to recommend that farmers plant this for "living hedgerows". In some places it has now spread so much that entire pastures and woodlots have been overrun since most cattle will not eat the stuff. |
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Quoted:
Pyracantha. Also known as Fire Thorn. Enraged cattle stay away from that shit. Get stuff with the longest needle sharp thorns. http://www.desert-tropicals.com/Plants/Rosaceae/Pyracantha_coccinea.html +1. I had to remove an overgrown pyracantha bush once. NOT FUN. |
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Quoted: Where can I get these things? Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is 'Subnet the Shrubber'. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. |
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Quoted:
Multi-flower rose. It does have nice flowers in the spring but the combination of sharp thorns and tough stems makes it a plant to stay away from. The US Dept. of Ag. used to recommend that farmers plant this for "living hedgerows". In some places it has now spread so much that entire pastures and woodlots have been overrun since most cattle will not eat the stuff.  multi-flora rose is teh debil. Seriously, I hate that shit. I've had to cruise through acres and acres of timber with dense growths of that shit in the understory. It is some of the meanest shit I have ever encountered (besides the catclaw/tie-tie mix of the Big Green Swamp in Wilmington, NC.
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Quoted: Quoted: Where can I get these things? Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history. Shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is 'Subnet the Shrubber'. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. 
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Oh, a Monty Python nerd huh? We want........................................................... A shrubbery, one that looks nice and not too expensive. |
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Oh, a Monty Python nerd huh? We want........................................................... A shrubbery, one that looks nice and not too expensive. A two level effect with a path down the middle. 
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Quoted:
Quoted:
Multi-flower rose. It does have nice flowers in the spring but the combination of sharp thorns and tough stems makes it a plant to stay away from. The US Dept. of Ag. used to recommend that farmers plant this for "living hedgerows". In some places it has now spread so much that entire pastures and woodlots have been overrun since most cattle will not eat the stuff. multi-flora rose is teh debil. Seriously, I hate that shit. I've had to cruise through acres and acres of timber with dense growths of that shit in the understory. It is some of the meanest shit I have ever encountered (besides the catclaw/tie-tie mix of the Big Green Swamp in Wilmington, NC.Hence the "Noxious Weed" designation. |
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Quoted:
I have Bougainvilleas planted around my house. The thorns are about an inch long and sharp as hell. They are a bitch to trim so I know I would not want to try to creep through them in the middle of the night to sneak into someones window. I'm not sure they will grow in MI but if you can find them you will be happy. M Here in Las Vegas, we LOVE Bougainvillea due to their rapid growth and beautiful flower varieties, but they freeze every winter & we have to replant every spring...we are now looking for a suitable alternative. They definitely WON'T survive a midwest winter. If you do plant these in a non-tropical environment (i.e., if your temperature ever drops below 40-degrees F), you will be replanting them every spring, just like an annual...unless you let them regrow from the roots. If the roots don't freeze, they will send out new shoots as soon as the temperature warms up. |
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Quoted:
Pyracantha. Also known as Fire Thorn. Enraged cattle stay away from that shit. Get stuff with the longest needle sharp thorns. http://www.desert-tropicals.com/Plants/Rosaceae/Pyracantha_coccinea.html That link indicates USDA zones 8-10. That's about 1000 miles south of Michigan. |
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Pyracantha. Also known as Fire Thorn. Enraged cattle stay away from that shit. Get stuff with the longest needle sharp thorns. http://www.desert-tropicals.com/Plants/Rosaceae/Pyracantha_coccinea.html Yep, that will do it. We have some commercial property that we have a 7 foot block wall around it, topped with 3ft chain link, with barbed wire over that. People are willing to try to climb over that to get to the property. But what keeps them out? The fact that inset 3 feet from the block wall we have another 7 foot chain link fence, with barbed wire on top of it, but with pyracantha bush filling that 3 foot space around the property. Yeah, drop down off the block wall section into that 3 foot space and you WILL be hating life. |
| If you go with roses, get the Knockout Rose. It grows like a shrub and doesn't require all the maintenance that regular roses need. I planted one for my wife and haven't touched it except to cut it back once - a it cut the shit out of me when I got careless with it. I'm going to plant them under all of the windows this spring. If you can get Spanish Bayonets to grow in your area then get some. Nothing can get through them and they grow without any maintenance. |
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Quoted:
Multi-flower rose. It does have nice flowers in the spring but the combination of sharp thorns and tough stems makes it a plant to stay away from. The US Dept. of Ag. used to recommend that farmers plant this for "living hedgerows". In some places it has now spread so much that entire pastures and woodlots have been overrun since most cattle will not eat the stuff. That's the stuff people planted around here years ago; called it a "Living Fence". Hardy plant in the coldest Winters. Anyone who tries to run through it will be bleeding like they were scratched by a dozen cats. |
