Posted: 12/20/2008 7:20:13 AM EDT
| I've been living in my new house for about 5-6 monts. At first we had a bunch of phone calls about Electric Boat rentals. Well, one day I had someone call and I asked them where the flyer was and they said it was at a local spot down at the waterfront and that's where they were callign from. I asked them to remove the add and the calls ended. Well starting yesterday they have started again. Should I just start scheduling these "boat tours" for these people or is that just too mean? |
|
Quoted:
I've been living in my new house for about 5-6 monts. At first we had a bunch of phone calls about Electric Boat rentals. Well, one day I had someone call and I asked them where the flyer was and they said it was at a local spot down at the waterfront and that's where they were callign from. I asked them to remove the add and the calls ended. Well starting yesterday they have started again. Should I just start scheduling these "boat tours" for these people or is that just too mean? Yes. And give MAJOR discounts. 
|
|
I used to get call for a Pizza shop... They misprinted a flyer with my number on it... I talked to the people at the shop... They didn't care and the calls didn't stop...
So I started taking orders for Pizza giving a order number and pick up time... After about 3 days the Pizza shop call me I told them I can't help it if people call "MY" and want to order "their" Pizza, they misprinted the flyer no me... a new flyer was out in a week with a corrected number in BOLD TYPE... still got call once in a while and took the orders for the pizza |
|
you: "pubic hair?"
them: "what?" you: "pubic hair!" them: "pubic hair?" you: "in your teeth!" then hang up. i used to have a second phone line, in the basement, for dial up internet. it was an unlisted number and was only used by the computer, so there was no reason for it to ring. started getting calls in the middle of the night. well, one time, i was in the basement with my lady friend, shooting pool, when a call came in. i was a little(lot) drunk and decided to use that little gem that i posted above. after much hilarity the caller decided to threaten me. said he had an AK27 or some such. i laughed a little and gave him my address. he never showed up 
|
| I work at a place called Sam's, we get calls all the time for Sam's Club. Its usually guys wanting to buy tires. Yesterday I put one of these guys on hold, looked up tirerack.com, got his vehicle information, and offered him a really nice set of Bridgestone tires at a 90% discount, mounting and balancing included. Then set an appointment for him today at 2pm. I may go up there just to watch the hillarity ensue. |
|
Some ideas:
-Sorry, all the boats sank. -Sorry, we had a boat sink and all the other boats are out lookin for survivors -Sorry, all our captains got arrested last night for some public orgy nonsense. -Sorry, all the boats are out of service to put gas engines in them. -Sorry, big joe has all the boats out of the water to nail up the holes. Or yeah, schedule some boat tours, they'll figure out real quick they need to change the numbers on their ads. Or call the phone company and ask em to change your number. |
|
I had a phone number that was almost the same as a local skating rink. My last two digits were 32 with the skating rink as 23.
Every Friday and Saturday night, our phone would ring off the hook. 90% was usually a bunch of tweeny girls asking about session times and/or asking if "so and so" was their? Got to a point especially when parents were calling looking for their tweeny daughters, I just started telling the parents their tweeny daughter was pulling a train in the back of the skating rink!  Did this about 10 times before the wife caught me and had the phone # finally changed. 
Mucho Fun! |
|
You guys are awesome. I think I'll just tell them that all rentals are suspended until furhter notice due to the tragic boating accident. I'll go on to tell them that it wasn't in the news since I paid the reporter to stay quiet about my non compliance to OSHA and the EPA.
|
|
Quoted:
Some ideas: -Sorry, all the boats sank. -Sorry, we had a boat sink and all the other boats are out lookin for survivors -Sorry, all our captains got arrested last night for some public orgy nonsense. -Sorry, all the boats are out of service to put gas engines in them. -Sorry, big joe has all the boats out of the water to nail up the holes. Or yeah, schedule some boat tours, they'll figure out real quick they need to change the numbers on their ads. Or call the phone company and ask em to change your number. You forgot "All of our boats were lost in a tragic shooting accident" |
|
I used to get calls for a realtor when I was in my 20's. The last 4 digits on my phone number was 7053, these fuckchops had 7653 which if you go by the letters under the numbers spells "sold" unfortunately more people would dial "s0ld" and get me. I did a search on this number years later and was surprised how many realtors use it.
At first I did the nice thing and told people they had the wrong number. Then after I met the miserable woman who owned the company this graduated to insulting her clients: "boy are you stupid, you can't even spell SOLD, ass" Then I started having fun with them... "The house on Topsail has been condemned for roaches and trermites, pick something else" "No, that house was seized by the police as the owners were drug dealers and bought the house with drug money...call the sheriff's department if you have questions about the down payment" "Don't call this number again! We won't sell to foreigners or people who don't speak american." "Anna can't come to the phone righ now, my dick's in her mouth, but I'll tell her you called." I would have friends dial their number and look for me then call later and ask if I had any messages. Good times. |
|
Regardless of who calls, just say
"Nah, we don't rent/give tours to your kind." Caller "Whaddya mean, my kind?" You: "People like you." Then hang up. OR You: "Boat tour, sure. I assume you'll bring your own condoms." OR "Sorry, after the election a bunch of guys took their gun collections out, and sank all of our boats."
|
|
i told the chick that kept calling to sell me long distance that i couldn't because we don't
have a phone. remembering her saying "sorry for bothering you.....hey wait a second" just before i hung up on her is still funny. generaly for wrong numbers i'll just tell them the person they want has just died, or has been trying to get a hold of everyone because the [STD] test came back positive and would they help by calling and letting every one else know to go get tested also. |
|
Quoted:
i told the chick that kept calling to sell me long distance that i couldn't because we don't have a phone. remembering her saying "sorry for bothering you.....hey wait a second" just before i hung up on her is still funny. generaly for wrong numbers i'll just tell them the person they want has just died, or has been trying to get a hold of everyone because the [STD] test came back positive and would they help by calling and letting every one else know to go get tested also. I lived in a condo in VA beach for 3 years. I would constantly get calls for one of the previoius occupents him and my old dirt bag room mate. People would not stop calling so I finally told them that they were dead. No more phone calls!
|