Posted: 11/3/2008 8:23:31 AM EDT
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My son is autistic. He is very good in math and science but not very good in subjects like English, Writing, History that he has to read a lot and draw a conclusion and write about it. He has a very difficult mid term coming up in his US History class. He has to write a thesis on the global economy during the time of the Seven Year war and how it lead to the American Revolution.
How much should I help him with it? I've helped him gather his information and I've sat next to him and explained it to him [he's retained about 5-6%]. I've outlined most of the key points and have drawn him maps to show what was going on at the time. Now he needs to write his thesis. He had a similar assignment where he had to take something that his professor said and disagree with it. I went through his notes [he does take fairly good notes from class] and he and I talked about each thing his teacher said. Will [my son] did not understand much of what he took notes on. The only thing I could derive was his teacher wrote on the board that the US lost the Vietnam War. I helped him write his paper on the conclusion that the US did not lose the war that the South Vietnamese did. It was a stretch but based on the information I had I couldn't really come up with anything else. I ended up telling Will all the information. He took notes on what I said, wrote the paper and I edited it for grammar, spelling etc. He did all right on the paper [he got a 19/25 –– the teacher didn't like the topic though he said it was interesting but ripped Will a new you know what claiming that the US did lose the war.  ]
So now I'm stuck trying to figure out how to help him with out doing the paper myself. I'd appreciate some input. Q |
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I'm not sure I understand why he is taking classes that are beyond his capabilities to pass.
Honestly, beyond discussing the subject with him and providing basic assistance with writing, proofreading, fact checking, and editing, I'm not sure that there is anything more you can ethically do. Classes are meant to be passed or failed by students, not by teams made up of students and parents. |
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Many 'normal' (I hate that term) people don't make it through college. If he's in over his head now, engineering school is not going to be fun for either you or him. That said, good luck. The school that he's going to go to is a very hands on school and the curriculum once he's through his core subjects seem like a very do able thing for Will. It is mostly math and science and computer programming all things that he is very good at. Life will always be difficult for hm - however having a degree and hopefully a job [since his job he's studying for is so competitive who knows if he'll be able to leave school and immediately go into his field]. With out a degree his prospects are pretty slim. He's been working in the summer with younger speech/language impaired children and doing very well at it but it is a seasonal job. I suppose he could spend his life pushing a broom at Walmart but we both have higher hopes for him. I want him to learn and I believe the core education required at college is an important part of the learning process and I would like him to do well and retain as much as possible. With that said he simply is not going to be able to pass this class with out a good deal of intervention. I do not want to be unethical [I would never write the paper for him] but I do want him to get a good enough grade that it won't ruin his chances of going to engineering school. |
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He's in college - he's an engineering major [he wants to design games] and he has to take his core classes. This is his second year in school and he has to keep his grades up to be accepted in engineering school. Does the school have an ADA/disability coordinator? If so, they, or his instructor, may be able to better identify the limits for someone in his situation. |
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He's in college - he's an engineering major [he wants to design games] and he has to take his core classes. This is his second year in school and he has to keep his grades up to be accepted in engineering school. Does the school have an ADA/disability coordinator? If so, they, or his instructor, may be able to better identify the limits for someone in his situation. I would contact the professor and/or ADA personnel and explain the situation and see what advice they give |
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Many 'normal' (I hate that term) people don't make it through college. If he's in over his head now, engineering school is not going to be fun for either you or him. That said, good luck. The school he will go to is a trade school [digipen University] but to get in he has to maintain a 3.0 GPA. Last year he took Calculus & Physics, this year he's taking Difi Q & Chemistry and maintaining an A in those classes. He must pull a passing grade in his writing and history class to pass the core requirements or he must retake the classes. He works very hard in these classes - goes to class daily, talks with his teacher after classes and reads all of his assignments however because of his disability he is not able to retain this information in a logical sense. IN regards to creativity needed to design games. I had my doubts but the kid amazes me. He's been designing games at home and publishing them on a club site and getting pretty good reviews. He is also studying computer animation [cartoons etc] so he will have a broader job opportunity. [I figure he can work as a advertising consultant with a newspaper/magazine or something while trying to get a job designing games]. |
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He's in college - he's an engineering major [he wants to design games] and he has to take his core classes. This is his second year in school and he has to keep his grades up to be accepted in engineering school. Does the school have an ADA/disability coordinator? If so, they, or his instructor, may be able to better identify the limits for someone in his situation. I would contact the professor and/or ADA personnel and explain the situation and see what advice they give That's good advice. I'll see what they have to say. *ETA* DJ how much help do you get in school? What is your goal for completion? Does the ADA help you much? Will went last year to the ADA and she never really did much but offer him a tape recorder to record the classes. Will has a photographic memory so he declined the tape recorder [it would have helped me to be able to listen to what his teacher is saying rather than having Will repeating it to me, but Will declined]. Though he remembers what is said to him he does not understand what it means. He is very visual. |
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Help him the most by leaving him alone to pass or fail on his own. This is your best advice. Yup, if he can only retain 5% of what he reads/hears he shouldn't be able to get an engineering degree. I'd normally agree, but in this case it sounds like he has no issues with anyhting that would actually relate to engineering. I'm not sure that I could write a thesis on the global economy during the Seven Years war and how it led to the American Revolution, and I love history and am disability free. If a solution can be found that is fair and does not constitute cheating, I say let him go for it. |
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Help him the most by leaving him alone to pass or fail on his own. This is your best advice. Yup, if he can only retain 5% of what he reads/hears he shouldn't be able to get an engineering degree. He is able to retain most things that involve math and science. If he could see the history unfold he could retain it nearly 100% but to visualize it from hearing the lecture, reading the book it gets scrambled. |
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Help him the most by leaving him alone to pass or fail on his own. I know you want to "help" as much as posssible, as a mother you should have that nurture built in. The best thing to do is to help when you know he is really stuck... and just enough to get him moving again. Let him do it himself, even if it takes a long time and tires him, frustrates him and pushes him to the edge. It is best he learns this now and how to focus on things that need done in the future. |
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Seems like he's good in the subjects that matter and not so good in the other stuff. I've never seen autism as a disability.
I'd do what I can to keep his GPA up to get into engineering school but don't help him with his engineering courses. The most important skill for him after engineering is social skills/dynamics and networking. I'll retain 5-6% of biology related subjects but retain 85% of accounting theory. Should I quit accounting? Probably 
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Help him the most by leaving him alone to pass or fail on his own. I know you want to "help" as much as posssible, as a mother you should have that nurture built in. The best thing to do is to help when you know he is really stuck... and just enough to get him moving again. Let him do it himself, even if it takes a long time and tires him, frustrates him and pushes him to the edge. It is best he learns this now and how to focus on things that need done in the future. Thank you Rexy, you are right. I must admit - its hard to do merely because its so much easier to just do it for him. I have a really horrible schedule this week but I've been harping on him for a couple of years now about how he has to learn to take something, read it, understand it and write about it. In the summer we did a couple of simple papers [none anywhere near as complex as this subject] but it wasn't nearly enough. *ETA* I don't know where to get the comic books, that sounds like something that could really help him. In the past I have had him watch the "Ken Burns" type history videos and write based on the information he read and watched and he's done well [I've edited his papers for spelling and flow but he did 95% or better of the work]. His final will be similar to this mid term. I just talked to his teacher and he said that he'll try to get Will's final topic to him next week so he has more time to prepare [Will got his topic Friday for his mid term due this Friday]. |
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Many 'normal' (I hate that term) people don't make it through college. If he's in over his head now, engineering school is not going to be fun for either you or him. That said, good luck. The school he will go to is a trade school [digipen University] but to get in he has to maintain a 3.0 GPA. Last year he took Calculus & Physics, this year he's taking Difi Q & Chemistry and maintaining an A in those classes. He must pull a passing grade in his writing and history class to pass the core requirements or he must retake the classes. He works very hard in these classes - goes to class daily, talks with his teacher after classes and reads all of his assignments however because of his disability he is not able to retain this information in a logical sense. IN regards to creativity needed to design games. I had my doubts but the kid amazes me. He's been designing games at home and publishing them on a club site and getting pretty good reviews. He is also studying computer animation [cartoons etc] so he will have a broader job opportunity. [I figure he can work as a advertising consultant with a newspaper/magazine or something while trying to get a job designing games]. I'll probably get flamed for this but if it's only one or two classes I'd help as much as I could. I have an otherwise brilliant brother who was 'allowed' to fail because of trouble with math and being labled 'learning disabled' despite all A/B's in every other subject. It's a pretty crappy life to be stuck in menial jobs because of one subject. The maddening frustration of working with across-the-board less intelligent people is driving him nuts. I won't say it's ethical or the right thing to do, but I'd get him over this hill with as much help as needed and continue helping with the subjects he needed help with after the classes are over. It's too bad more parents don't take as much interest as you're showing. Best of luck to both of you. |
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Seems like he's good in the subjects that matter and not so good in the other stuff. I've never seen autism as a disability. I don't in a lot of ways but really when it comes to processing oral information he is very very lacking. I'd do what I can to keep his GPA up to get into engineering school but don't help him with his engineering courses. The most important skill for him after engineering is social skills/dynamics and networking. He has pretty decent social skills. He is very people oriented and fairly responsive to outside ques [such as if someone is upset he can pick up on that and usually understand why]. He doesn't have strange quirks that upset him for seemingly no reason. He does do odd ball things like talk to himself and waves his hands around [while talking to himself] when he's walking down the street that of course makes people walk wide circles from his path. I've tried like heck to get him not to do that but have found like my dogs who won't eat food off the counters when I'm around, he has to be taught some how not to do that when he's [wink wink] by himself.  Of course I'm his mother and I think he's awesome but overall he's a great kid with some odd ball habits/quirks that excels in somethings and is lacking in others. I guess his main advantage [other than when he thinks he's alone] is that he knows his short comings, which I must say most 19 year old boys haven't figured out yet. So is he truly disabled? Yes, he has very significant limitations. Could it be worse? Absolutely.
I'll retain 5-6% of biology related subjects but retain 85% of accounting theory. Should I quit accounting? Probably  I got my degree in history. I couldn't help him in his math and science if I tried!
*ETA* Thank you MACD. I would hate for him to end up in some job pushing a broom. He is very brilliant in math and science. |