Posted: 10/18/2008 9:11:25 AM EDT
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A man, having applied to join the Clovis , New Mexico , police force, is being interviewed. The Chief says, 'Your qualifications are first-class but there is one test that you must pass before I can recruit you.' Sliding a small bag across the desk, he continues. 'Take this gun with 13 bullets, and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six Obama delegates and a rabbit.' The man asks, 'Why the rabbit?' 'Fantastic attitude!' says the Chief, 'When can you start?' |
I got some for ya, sent to me by very strange people.  A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog for Sale" He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services...the United States Marines. You know one of their nicknames is "The Devil Dogs." In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I new I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's such a bullshitter .. He never did any of that shit. He was in the Navy!" 3 blonds were walking along a trail, when they came across some tracks... "Those look like some deer tracks to me.", says 1. "Nuh-uh! Those are definitely bear tracks!", says the other. "Are you both dumb?!? Those are rabbit tracks!", says the 3rd. They started bickering and arguing, and they started yelling and shouting. They were SO loud, in fact, they didn't even here the train coming up behind them! |
I'm retelling that one on Monday.