[ARCHIVED THREAD] - BUSH'S RESIGNATION SPEECH (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:49:28 AM EDT
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BUSH'S RESIGNATION SPEECH The following 'speech' was written recently by an ordinary Maine-iac [a resident of the People's Republic of Maine ]. While satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective. This is an excellent piece by a person who does not write for a living. The speech George W. Bush might give: Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer. I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office. The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out. Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security. We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq 's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied...People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty. Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named ' Clinton ' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you? Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan , a nuclear ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him. He also thinks it's okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel . Did you sleep through high school? You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them. That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe. You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.' Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops. Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well Fed Ex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing. In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars. I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's bel ow sea level and has a hurricane approaching. I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads. So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient hou se down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall. Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008. So that's it. God bless what's left of America . Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off. PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran. |
Have you ever been to Maine? Once you get past the city of Portland, it's really conservative all the way to Canada. Pretty lax gun laws, too. |
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bush hasent really done anything wrong . the Iraq shit (( to me dont hurt our economy)) alot of stuff made for the military is made here in the US which is holding alot of JOBS for people the government spending 10 billion a year killing arabs dont bother me at all. because if they stop spending 10 billion a year there then there not going to give us some kind of refund or somthing. they will just spend more on somthing else |
Gosh darn Maine-iacs! We dont take too kindly to that kind around here. 
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Besides the fact that this appears to be written by someone who never made it to junior high, it's worth pointing out that all Arabs are not our enemy. |
The media's spin on Bush, and the fact that no one listened to the admin- put us here. They called to drill in '01, and they wanted to reform Freddie and Fannie. No one listened. |
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I don't care what he says as long as he leaves. ht Oh and P.S. -- Pakistan is not our "ally", they take our money, take footage of some idiots firing guns into empty fields then claim they are "fighting terrorists". The ISI (Pakistani intelligence) Is helping AL-queda and Taliban and have been connected with the bomb attacks on both India and Afghanistan. They have been training terrorists to Attack India for decades and are now doing it to us yet pretending they don't do anything. If they were our ally they would let us persue terrorists into Pakistani territory. Instead their troops fire shots at our helicopters. 90% of Pakistani people hate America and love Osama Bin Laden. |
An effective President would have gotten these things through. I mean, under Reagan, he would have forced the Democrats hand with the bully pulpit, especially post-9/11 when fear of Islamism was at its peak. |
[/Touchy Mainer]
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This stupid chain letter thing has been posted here many times already. |
If we had Reagan, a lot of things would be for the better right now 
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When your priority is bringing "a new tone" to Washington, the perception that you might even try to bully your adversaries isn't a consideration (even if the country will be better off). Yeah, that worked out pretty well. 
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Now that you mention it, we don't have to put up with those 30.06 CCW prohibition signs, like they do in Texas. |
Iowa voters and the stupid decision to let anyone vote in the Republican primaries destroyed the conservative movement. |
Ah Portland you are worthless in two states.
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Yes and what caused the increase in demand? Why that would be our suicidal economic policy that allows our manufacturing jobs to be siphoned off to Asia, therefor helping boost the economies of other countries at the expense of our own. In the meantime, all those jobs we lost to China and India have helped enlarge their economies to the point that those two countries now have become a huge drain on the remaining world's oil supply, which causes prices to go up. And the Bush kool aid drinkers (ditto heads, etc.) are the principal reason that Obama will be our next President. |
Not even close, the MEDIA is 90% of the reason we may end up with Obama. If they were remotely fair the Democratic Party would cease to exist. If they sucked POTUS Bush off the way they blow dems it would be a whole new world. |
Don't blame the media for the Iraq debacle, or McCain trying to ram amnesty down our throats, or increasing the power of government or any of the other things that GWB has done that directly violate conservative principals. |
 I think you meant to post in DU.
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LOL, absolutely, all Bush critics are closet socialist. You betcha! |
Sorry dude, you lost me at "Iraq debacle" anything thing you said after that might have made sense but when I see that kind of stupidity I stop reading. Especially on arfcom. |
The former Police Chief of Portland..Chitwood, can suck my brown eye too!!! fucking commie all the way!!!!! |
If you don't think that Iraq has been a disaster for this country then the stupidity you talk about is staring you in the face every time you look in the mirror. As much as the kool aid drinkers believe otherwise, supporting the invasion of Iraq is not a litmus test for being a conservative or a patriot, but ditto heads have done a fantastic job of pushing people out of the party and we'll see the results of that in just a few more weeks. |
quack, quack,quack, quack, quack,quack, quack, quack,quack, quack, quack,quack, quack, quack,quack, |
I know the name Frank Morang. |
What policy would that be? Ah, Democrat, got it. Americans being ignorant and accepting of socialism is what will give us Obama, maybe with a little voter fraud to push it over the top. |
I LOLed! 
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The real problem with many is their blind acceptance of the principles of the PARTY they vote for...........surrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre, Bush was a real princpled republican. Folks want to look at one issues there or one issue over yonder. Did Bush represent traditional, if I might, Reanan-esqe, values and principles, collectively? Did he reduce "government in your face" or reduce it? Are we now less dependent on the ROW or more so? Yeah, we said FU to the UN, but financially we're entirely dependent. Obama is not an option. Is McCain really an option to get the republican party back on it's traditional conservative track? I think not. Is the republican base so left leaning now that the "base" is not represented by the candidates or values being offered? I think so. Yet we continue to fight for "our" party. Blindly voting away traditional conservatinve values to a party that's moved away from "us". But, hey, at least we can win. Really, win? |
I was referring to free trade, the alter at which all neoconservatives worship. I've never voted Democrat in my life and never will. The irony which escapes you is that free trade is inherently a globalist movement because global economies lead to global financial networks, which essentially lead to global governments. |
 quack, quack,quack, quack, quack,quack, quack, quack,quack, quack, quack,quack, quack, quack,quack |
A good chunk of the "conservative" movement is made up of luke-warm socialists who only really care about banning abortion and violent video games. |
Does Bush get a lot of votes or something? What am I missing...? |