Posted: 9/24/2008 7:43:26 AM EDT
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Saturday night we (the wife & I) went to a birthday party. It was a pretty large, fun party with a DJ, keg and lots of food. After the party started to wind down, the ladies decided that they wanted to go out and sing some karaoke. We had enough designated drivers & vehicles for everybody so we piled into three vehicles and headed out... I don't spend much time in bars. Years ago, I lived in Alaska and spent more time in bars than I probably should have. I've seen bad karaoke and I've seen good. I've also seen some weird shit go down in bars. Nothing quite like this, however. From the parking lot of the karaoke bar, I was impressed with the music coming out of the place. I didn't recognize the song, but it sounded pretty good. I was incredulous about it being karaoke--but lo and behold, it was. So far, so good. We get inside and the wife heads to the bar for some water. I head for the lavatory, needing to get rid of a few party beers. While I'm washing my hands, the songs ends and another song starts. Something is wrong. This new music sounds like death metal. A rapid fire kick drum is rattling the entire building. A creepy bass vocal kicks in. It's like Cannibal Corpse out there. I look at the mirror and think to my self: WTF is this? I exit the bathroom and head for the bar. There's a 40YO guy on the karaoke stage absolutely killing it up there. It's the loudest, most intense karaoke I have ever heard. I've never even imagined that this kind of music could be performed karaoke-style. I can't stop smiling. I'm not into metal, really, but this guy is positively kicking ass. I get to the bar--the wife is still waiting for water. She is not enjoying the music. The wife tells me that this big haired 40-something lady next to her has just asked her if she's the mother of the birthday girl. My wife is 33. The birthday girl is 30.  As you can guess, this does not exactly flatter my wife. I look at Ms. Big Hair and notice that she is singing along with the death metal. This crazy lady is screaming along! I nudge the wife in the back until she looks over. Holy shit, this just keeps getting better. I'm near the point of no return. The smile on my face is approaching uncontrollable. This is the weirdest, most hilarious bar scene EVAR! The death metal ends. Thank goodness. 80% of the bar breathes a sigh of relief. The vast majority of the room was not into the death metal karaoke. The next song wasn't The Carpenters, but it was pretty close. Those people really needed a change of pace after that performance. The singer comes over to right where I'm standing. Ms. Big Hair is his lady friend! I tell him how much I enjoyed his performance. He's a clean cut dude about my age (41) that apparently just happens to like singing death metal karaoke on Saturday nights. He couldn't be a more normal looking guy. Something about the whole situation just hit me the right (wrong?) way and I could barely contain myself. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen at a bar. I wish I had taken a moment to record some video with my phone. The wife wasn't feeling well, even before we went, so she sang a Dixie Chicks song with the birthday girl & friends and we went home. It wasn't even 11:30. I'm still laughing about it now. |