Posted: 9/8/2008 12:05:31 PM EDT
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Sarah Palin walks into the pub orders a beer. She gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. so she mentions something to nobama the bartender, who tells her to shut up and just drink her beer. Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to nobama, Sarah throws 30 dimes behind the counter. nobama is pissed and is on his hands and knees collecting change as Sarah leaves. The next day Sarah is back and she comes in waiving a $5 dollar bill. nobama thinks: "okay, business is business" and lets her in. Again, the beer is kind of warm, but Sarah doesn't say anything. Comes time to pay, Sarah gives nobama the $5 note. nobama goes to the register to get the change, but instead of taking out two $1 dollar bills, he takes out 20 dimes, turns and and throws them all around the entire pub. nobama says: "there is your fucking change!" Sarah looks around and remains quite calm. She takes out 10 dimes, throws them behind the counter and says: "I'll have another beer!" |
That's pretty funny.  ETA: Could use a rewrite. Sarah Palin walks into a pub and sees Barack Obama behind the bar. She takes a seat and orders a draft. She takes her first drink and notices that its warm. She says something to Barack who says, "Its not warm, shut up and drink it." Sarah bites her lips and finishes her drink. Barack turns and says, "That's $3". Sarah reaches into her pocket, building a tower of dimes as they come out one by one. She gets to thirty and starts to push them across the counter towards Barack, he reaches down to scoop them up with a scowl on his face, when suddenly, "BAM", Sarah slams her fist into the stack of dimes sending them flying everywhere behind the bar, and leaves. Barack bends down and picks them up one by one until he gets all thirty, muttering to himself about how annoying change is and puts them in the register. The next day Sarah comes in again, and with a big smile on her face waves a $5 bill around. Barack sees this and thinks to himself, well, business is business. Sarah sits down, orders another draft and notices that once again, a broken promise, the "cold beer" sign campaigning for the pub outside is just another vapid, empty lie. The beer is warm. Sarah says nothing, finishes her drink, and places the $5 bill on the counter. Barack turns to the register, pulls out 20 dimes, and casually begins to throw them around the room. One by one. He goes to the mens room, drops a dime in the toilet, to the pay phone and puts two dimes in it, he opens the door to the storage room and throws a couple there, throws some in the jar of pickled eggs no one ever buys and scatters the rest in other various locations. The whole time Sarah sits at the stool, watching. When Obama is done, he comes back and smiles. Sarah returns the smile, while taking out 10 more dimes and says, "I'll have another please." |
Obama being a smart ass thinks he will get Sarah for her throwing the 30 dimes the day before. So he throws her 20 dimes all over the bar. Her in her quick thinking throws 10 more dimes at him and orders another beer. Now he has to collect the 10 dimes she threw and the 20 he threw all over the bar. It's not hilarious, but I like the idea so I thought it was funny. |
odd. |
I like it. Very clever, and yes they don't get it. The Republican Fisherman A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude." She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am,"replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man,"you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault." |