Posted: 6/5/2008 9:56:32 PM EDT
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So... Anyone know how to confuse an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and challenge him to find which period it's from Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent." |
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A 4th generation Irish-American goes back to the old country to see where his ancestors came from. While sitting in a pub drinking his 6th beer of the morning he sees a leprechaun come prancing in. Quickly he jumps up and pins the leprechaun to the floor and shouts "Now you have to show me where your pot of gold is!" The leprechaun says "I'll show ye where I keep me pot o'gold if ye lets me do ye in the ass in the men's room, lad!" The American thinks about it for a moment and then agrees. In the middle of pounding the American's tailpipe the leprechaun asks "So, laddie, how old are ye?" and the American says "I'm thirty three." "Thirty-three years old, lad, and ye still believe in leprechauns!" |