Posted: 5/19/2008 1:10:29 PM EDT
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A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?' He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.' She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb. testline. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.' She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. 'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card' he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first, she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please.' The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20? How did you get $34.50?' He replies, 'Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20, but the duck call is $11 and the catfish bait $3.50.' |
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Oldy but goody. My contribution -- A woman's husband is notorious for farting in bed. His wife is always telling him "You'll fart your guts out one day!" So one Thanksgiving morning the wife wakes up early to cook the bird and the stench from his farts is almost unbearable. She goes downstairs and says "I'll fix his ass." She pulls the giblets out of the turkey, runs upstairs, places them in bed next to her husbands rear end. Several minutes later she hears a blood curdling scream from upstairs. She can't contain her laughter. Her husband comes running downstairs and says "Baby, you were right all these years, I finally farted my guts out, but luckily, with the grace of God and this finger, I was able to push them back in!" |
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OMG i havent laughed like that in a while! WIN!! |
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