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AR15.COM
5/7/2008 9:29:05 AM EDT
This is an old joke but what the heck  
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer
an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those
two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from
the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet
and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked
to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He
walked out with $96,000.

The t hird one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief
who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the
tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man
that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks
the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and
they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken
by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop
'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the
tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he
suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'

The old Chief calmly replied, ' Vietnam .'