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Posted: 11/16/2001 2:39:27 PM EDT
[#1]
Good choice, but I still have my slant-pocket summer "Intermediate pattern" stuff from before the final official change over to the current BDUs for our airborne forces- Your Imenseness' "Hammer of Heaven".
These would be worn with spit-shined riding boots, patent leather Sam Browne belts, swords, Ivory handled 1911 .45s, and satin silver M4s with exotic wood with ivory inlays for the forward guards. Bright red berets worn backwards like the Brits wear them. |
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Posted: 11/16/2001 2:43:31 PM EDT
[#2]
Those berets will do for the men...
...for the officers, right now I'm picturing a leopard skin Fez, with big gold skull embazened on the front. Why not? |
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Posted: 11/16/2001 2:50:24 PM EDT
[#3]
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Posted: 11/16/2001 3:36:54 PM EDT
[#4]
To: Autarch Murph I, The Mighty lion of the Veldt
From: Golgo-13, Minister of Social Engineering Re: Sundry Issues cc: Ministers of Propaganda, Procurement,Homeland Security, and Sustenance; Generals of His Radiance's Air, Land and Sea Forces My Liege, The flag issue is, I think, simply resolved. The flag should depict a steel gray right hand (symbolic of both your strength and political position) clutching an argent spear (symbolic of your swiftness and accuracy in all things) on an azure background (symbolic of the peace and happiness of all those who are blessed to live within Murphwanda). Though I am no great student of heraldry, remember that we must devise a symbol easily assimilated by bewildered African peasants. Regarding uniforms, the leopardskin fezzes with gold skull insignia for the officer corp were an outstanding idea. Might I be so bold as to suggest that, furthermore, each officer be required to wear a minimum of 15 medals and 8 campaign ribbons. Decorations can be awarded as needed to bring each officer up to corps standards. Also, sabers are a nice touch. Finally, regarding the "problem" illustrated so charmingly in your last communique, I suggest we establish liberal immigration policies for Swedish, Californian, Japanese, and other such women as your other ministers may suggest. Minister of Propaganda Stealth would, accordingly, be responsible for advertising that would make Murphwanda seem an irresistably attractive destination for such immigrants. I remain, Ever Your Humble Servant, Golgo-13, Minister of Social Engineering |
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Posted: 11/16/2001 3:41:59 PM EDT
[#5]
Breadfruit, man! Don't forget about the breadfruit.
Honestly, though. I love all of the savage peoples of Murphwanda just as if they had sprung from my loins. I'm just concerned about the young lady's lip-plate. It's missing. We need to provide the people with affordable, well made lip-plates. |
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Posted: 11/16/2001 3:47:35 PM EDT
[#6]
FROM THE DESK OF HIMSELF.....
To: Golgo-13, Minister of Social Engineering Get on top of the LIP-PLATE program. I think this is right up your alley. "So it is written, so shall it be done." |
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Posted: 11/16/2001 3:57:23 PM EDT
[#7]
From: Golgo-13, Minister of Social Engineering
To: all district managers Effective immediately, the 5-year lip plate plan is to be accelerated to a 1-year plan. Resources are to be steered away from non-essential programs (e.g. literacy programs, any construction not of temples to Autarch Murph I, production of consumer goods) and channeled into maximim production of lip plates. Any district managers unable to show the required percentage increases in lip plate production (figures to follow)will be remanded to the custody of the Ministry of Pain for remediation in modern industrial theory. Gentelmen, may I remind you that His Splendiferousness watches us in all things, for it is we who warp the fabric of society to suit his divine whims. Do not disappoint your Autarch. |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 3:53:37 AM EDT
[#8]
I cannot overemphasize the following:
In all my dealings with savages, around the globe, I have learned that there are three legs upon which the very power of the Realm will balance... 1. Breadfruit 2. Trinkets 3. Fear |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 4:03:12 AM EDT
[#9]
Can I be Minister of Imigration? Responsible for interveiwing potential new Citizens of Murphwanda. I would requie them to provide proof of a firearms safety course and to become members of the Murphwanda National Rifle Assoc.
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Posted: 11/17/2001 4:11:35 AM EDT
[#10]
Immigration falls under the Ministry of Social Engineering. You will have to petition General Golgo-13 for an audience, but I believe you're wasting your time.
I do feel that you're just not right for the job. You see, Murphwanda is a DICTATORSHIP. We allow our people to have their spears and their shields, but that's it. Firearms shall only be possessed by the Military forces and Paramilitaries. Our savages are our greatest treasure, and I want them to be safe in their charming cultural heritage. |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 5:19:15 AM EDT
[#11]
Your GREATNESS, I shudder to interrupt you from your quest for breadfruit, but I need to know the MurphPolicy regarding muzzleloading arms.
Shall we allow the savages to possess these? |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 9:35:54 AM EDT
[#12]
I love our savages with all my heart.
They shall be provided with all that they need to live. They will be cared for and doted on, as though they were my children. Free huts and innoculations. Spears, grass skirts, lip-plates and colorful masks, too. There is no need for education, for we do not want to interfere with their charming culture. Medical care will be provided by their "witch doctors". They needn't be bothered with the complications of "modern" existance, for we do not dare impose our Western Values upon then. Their's will be a life of peace and plenty. Like the Eloi. My only requirement is their loyalty, devotion, and worship. |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 11:02:35 AM EDT
[#13]
Notes to self:
1. Increase peasant barley ration 15% as reward for good progress on pyramid. 2. Accelerate breadfruit plantation program. 3. Contact Murphwandan Ambassador to Mexico regarding hold up on delivery of trained Tijuana donkey. Jane Fonda will be arriving for state reception in two weeks. 4. Contact Minister of Entertainment about having Alec Baldwin supply entertainment at this year's Xmas orgy. 5. Contact His Hugeness regarding establishment of state-owned brothels. 6. Order mirrors, pen knives, glass beads, magnifying glasses, cigarette lighters for His Immenseness to distribute as largesse. 7. Have 10 randomly chosen peasants from each village killed. |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 11:24:18 AM EDT
[#14]
This is great!!! I'm amazed that this one hasn't been locked yet.
Murphwanda...Excellent!~! [50] |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 2:01:10 PM EDT
[#15]
Did someone say... BREADFRUIT?
[img]http://www.4-u-veges.com/photos/breadfruit.jpg[/img] |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 2:25:36 PM EDT
[#16]
Quoted: This is great!!! I'm amazed that this one hasn't been locked yet. Murphwanda...Excellent!~! Locked? We are doing nothing but good. We will right the wrongs of our evil colonial ancestors. We will eliminate from Murphwanda all evidence of Western Culture, and bring these lovely savages back to the primitive paradise that existied before the coming of Western Man. The only Western Luxuries, weapons and conveniences will be the ones that We, Murphwada's benevolent Dictator and Ministers will require in order to maintain this pristine Nubian Paradise and our own Weak Western Decadence. Who would lock a thread that merely forms The Plan for Murphwanda; a Dictatorship Pure of Heart and Intention? |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 2:50:24 PM EDT
[#17]
Safire as prone to hyperbole as ever I see. If it's good enough for our service people it's good enough for the goat-loving, koran-quoting
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Posted: 11/17/2001 3:40:28 PM EDT
[#18]
In Murphwanda, justice will be swift and just.
We shall restore order to a bewildered land. |
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Posted: 11/17/2001 8:37:26 PM EDT
[#19]
Murphwandan troops await the arrival of their leader:
[img]http://www.mg.co.za/mg/news/2000may2/19may-soldiers.jpg[/img] |
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Posted: 11/18/2001 6:41:34 AM EDT
[#20]
Clocks, mechanized farm implements, televisions, radios, and other [i]evil[/url] Western items will, of course, not be needed by the people....
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Posted: 11/18/2001 8:28:58 AM EDT
[#21]
Such things will make life too complicated.
"Modernity" is a concept of the WEST that we no right to foist upon these gentle savages. Things will return to the way the were. [img]http://www.ethiopiamission.org/res_ethiopia/Mursilady+plate.jpg[/img] We, the Dictator and Ministers of Murphwanda, will live in Palaces, and enjoy all the benefits and luxuries of modern existence. That is our culture, and from it we cannot escape. |
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Posted: 11/18/2001 9:20:19 AM EDT
[#22]
Lovely savage, see how happy she is?. So shall she remain.
[img]http://www.turtletours.com/images/6-2.jpg[/img] |
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Posted: 11/19/2001 11:03:43 AM EDT
[#23]
Quoted: Lovely savage, see how happy she is?. So shall she remain. [img]http://www.turtletours.com/images/6-2.jpg[/img] I now understand the importance of the lip-plate production memo... |
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Posted: 11/19/2001 11:30:53 AM EDT
[#24]
I appologize your Highness for failing to completely read and familiarize myself with the hiarchy of your administration. I did not realize that Immigration would fall under Social Engineering.
Might I petition the Party for a more resonable position within the ranks of the establishment. Possibly in the realm of the Ministry of Justice? I have many ideas for the enforcment of your laws and decrees. [(:)] |
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Posted: 11/19/2001 11:43:50 AM EDT
[#25]
Report from His Radiance's General of the Hammer of Heaven and their sundry lesser supporting forces. The future subjects have already breadfuit in bounty!
LOVE the fez idea!!! Medals and awards are being prepared as we speak. I have made Fire without the benefit of sticks informing the awed natives that this is the Lesser deity Zippo, a gift from His Magnitudinal Eater of Universes Himself. They abased themselves, grovelling appropriately. I have shipped plates of .25" titanium, for armored lip plates for our cannon fodder, er Shock Troops. The building of Monuments has commenced, with appropriate pleasure centers among the first for the nubile Nordic women to be housed upon their arrival. General of The Hammer Of Heaven Out |
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Posted: 11/19/2001 11:47:59 AM EDT
[#26]
A Sign has been given! Heaven has rained stars in a glorious display called the "Leonid Meteor Shower" to signal the birth of Murphwanda!
All Hail the Autarch!!! |
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Posted: 11/19/2001 1:24:48 PM EDT
[#27]
These sentrys will be needed at all entrances to the Kingdom.
[url]www.elifesize.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=eLifesize&Product_Code=299&Category_Code=Xena+Princess+Warrior[/url] |
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Posted: 11/19/2001 4:32:47 PM EDT
[#28]
Progress.
You shall all become gods. |
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Posted: 11/19/2001 4:44:12 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted: Did someone say... BREADFRUIT? [img]http://www.4-u-veges.com/photos/breadfruit.jpg[/img] LotBoy has had breadfruit. |
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Posted: 11/19/2001 8:42:48 PM EDT
[#30]
Notice of Employment Openings:
The Ministry of Social Engineering is now accepting applicants for the following positions 1. Breadfruit Plantation Overseer I 2. Trinket Distributor I and II 3. Pyramid Construction Foreman (12 openings) 4. Torturer I and II 5. Hatter (experience with fezzes a requirement) All applications should be submitted to the Ministry of Social Engineering by the close of business Nov. 30. |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 4:27:22 AM EDT
[#31]
Quoted: Notice of Employment Openings: The Ministry of Social Engineering is now accepting applicants for the following positions 1. Breadfruit Plantation Overseer I 2. Trinket Distributor I and II 3. Pyramid Construction Foreman (12 openings) 4. Torturer I and II 5. Hatter (experience with fezzes a requirement) All applications should be submitted to the Ministry of Social Engineering by the close of business Nov. 30. In addition, military openings exist for: 1. Armorer, Master and 6 Apprentices (must be familiar with Ordinance-level Repair and Maintenance for the M4 and 1911. Must be Master bladesmith, with experience in forging Damascus Steel Swords, Spear heads, Axes, and Knives) 2. Generals. Need 3 each for: Hammer of Heaven (Airborne Forces), Fist of Radiance (Heavy Armor Division), Holy Inundation of Terror (Marines), Angels of Vengance (Air Forces subsidiary to Hammer of Heaven). The Holy Inundation of Terror will further provide for its own Naval Support as they see fit. Fez production will allow for immediate filling of these positions. New Generals will feel free to draft natives, the Titanium lip plate material has arrived. For his Radiance's Immense pleasure, We have arranged to have a Zulu Warrior Regiment to provide services as the Cerimonial Guards. |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:02:09 AM EDT
[#32]
I have decided that we shall be a Communist Dictatorship.
[red]"From those according to their abilities, to those according to their needs."[/red] 1. Our (the Dictator and Ministers of Murphwanda) needs are opulent and many {we need food, wine, women, entertainment, satisfaction of our blood-lusts, and bullet-proof limousines}. These are our "needs". Our abilities are: our glorious leadership skills, and knack for instilling fear in the savages. 2. The savages needs are few. They need only breadfruit, lip-plates and the love of their Radiant, God-like Dictator. Their abilities... labor, worship, cower. As a Communist Dictatorship, we have many models and icons to follow. We also will have suppliers. Red China is being very helpful. |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:10:20 AM EDT
[#33]
Quoted: I have decided that we shall be a Communist Dictatorship. [red]"From those according to their abilities, to those according to their needs."[/red] 1. Our (the Dictator and Ministers of Murphwanda) needs are opulent and many {we need food, wine, women, entertainment, satisfaction of our blood-lusts, and bullet-proof limousines}. These are our "needs". Our abilities are: our glorious leadership skills, and knack for instilling fear in the savages. 2. The savages needs are few. They need only breadfruit, lip-plates and the love of their Radiant, God-like Dictator. Their abilities... labor, worship, cower. As a Communist Dictatorship, we have many models and icons to follow. We also will have suppliers. Red China is being very helpful. O Radiance of the Universe, my humble suggestion is that this would bring in entirely too many American liberals and Democrats. While fine as a food source, and as entertainment at Feast to Your Glory, they would just try to raise the ignorant savages to true Communism and the destruction of the Elite Cadre of Heaven. I must strongly suggest Monarchial Theocratic Dictatorship, sub-Oligarchial. See precedents in Imperial Rome and Old Kingdom Egypt. Uber-General Feld Marshall of the Hammer of Heaven Out |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:14:41 AM EDT
[#34]
Now, I know many of you are morally opposed to communism.
Just remember, why just a few pages ago, many of us were opposed to oppression and the crushing of individual's rights. Then, Minister Golgo, sagely opined: [b]"I don't mind a little oppression, as long as I am the oppressor rather than the oppressed. "[/b] ...and we saw the light. Communism isn't such a leap. Remember, we're STILL a dictatorship, and that's what's important. |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:17:09 AM EDT
[#35]
Quoted: Now, I know many of you are morally opposed to communism. Just remember, why just a few pages ago, many of us were opposed to oppression and the crushing of individual's rights. Then, Minister Golgo, sagely opined: [b]"I don't mind a little oppression, as long as I am the oppressor rather than the oppressed. "[/b] ...and we saw the light. Communism isn't such a leap. Remember, we're STILL a dictatorship, and that's what's important. Your Most Humble Iron-Fisted General was only thinking of foreign investors shying from overt Communism. I beg for Your Enlightened Mercy, which knows no bounds! |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:22:19 AM EDT
[#36]
Quoted: ...try to raise the ignorant savages to true Communism and the destruction of the Elite Cadre of Heaven. I must strongly suggest Monarchial Theocratic Dictatorship, sub-Oligarchial. See precedents in Imperial Rome and Old Kingdom Egypt. My comrade, we will never pursue "true communism". Look into your heart. We shall harness these savages in the name of glory! Haven't we already committed ourselves to providing the savages with all that they need? Now we must tend to OUR needs. We will not abandon the state religion of Murpheism. We are a newer more respectful Communist Dictatorship. It is insulting to the savages to imply that the need to be raised from their beautiful savagery. Nothing has changed, comrade. |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:26:32 AM EDT
[#37]
Quoted: Quoted: ...try to raise the ignorant savages to true Communism and the destruction of the Elite Cadre of Heaven. I must strongly suggest Monarchial Theocratic Dictatorship, sub-Oligarchial. See precedents in Imperial Rome and Old Kingdom Egypt. My comrade, we will never pursue "true communism". Look into your heart. We shall harness these savages in the name of glory! Haven't we already committed ourselves to providing the savages with all that they need? Now we must tend to OUR needs. We will not abandon the state religion of Murpheism. We are a newer more respectful Communist Dictatorship. It is insulting to the savages to imply that the need to be raised from their beautiful savagery. Nothing has changed, comrade. My worries are most truly laid to rest! And truthfully, the influx of American Elitists [i]WILL[/i] provide much food and entertainment! AHHH, sweetmeats!Their cries of pain will be as music to Your most Sacred Aural Detectors! |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:27:26 AM EDT
[#38]
Quoted: Your Most Humble Iron-Fisted General was only thinking of foreign investors shying from overt Communism. I beg for Your Enlightened Mercy, which knows no bounds! Foreign investors will respect our stability, on this Dark Continent of Chaos. Fear not, comrade, our power, glory and lusts will not go unfufilled. Do you doubt this? |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:31:01 AM EDT
[#39]
Quoted: Quoted: Your Most Humble Iron-Fisted General was only thinking of foreign investors shying from overt Communism. I beg for Your Enlightened Mercy, which knows no bounds! Foreign investors will respect our stability, on this Dark Continent of Chaos. Fear not, comrade, our power, glory and lusts will not go unfufilled. Do you doubt this? AHH, Never! O Radiance! I was just thinking that the Chinese are not well known for making good air-conditioning equipment, and I [i]DO[/i] love those loaded Hummers! There are indeed delectable liberal females that would server our Pleasures well and willingly! |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:33:49 AM EDT
[#40]
We will not allow ANY interlopers to enter our holy preserve.
Behold! our sidearm... [img]http://www.hkpro.com/image/mp5kengraved.jpg[/img] |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:40:02 AM EDT
[#41]
Quoted: We will not allow ANY interlopers to enter our holy preserve. Behold! our sidearm... [img]http://www.hkpro.com/image/mp5kengraved.jpg[/img] Oh, My! [lust lust lust] And this [img]http://www.swordforum.com/wallpapers/shamshir-800.jpg[/img] |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 5:58:37 AM EDT
[#42]
Quoted: Lovely savage, see how happy she is?. So shall she remain. [img]http://www.turtletours.com/images/6-2.jpg[/img] How hard can it be to conquer this place. Their Wearing target clays in their lips!! mike |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 6:01:42 AM EDT
[#43]
I would also like to apply for Royal Brewmaster. Every kingdom needs it's own Beer!!
[beer] |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 6:25:03 AM EDT
[#44]
I as a Janissarie would like to apply for the position of General of the Janissaries.
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Posted: 11/20/2001 6:34:47 AM EDT
[#45]
First Among Equals Comrade Chairman Murphy,
Are we now to refer to the aboriginal personnel as "proletariots" or is "savages" still an acceptable term in this Earthly theocratic worker's paradise you have so wisely created? |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 6:39:30 AM EDT
[#46]
Quoted: First Among Equals Comrade Chairman Murphy, Are we now to refer to the aboriginal personnel as "proletariots" or is "savages" still an acceptable term in this Earthly theocratic worker's paradise you have so wisely created? Proletariate Savages? |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 6:46:40 AM EDT
[#47]
Either term is acceptable.
The savages (as always) will be unaware of their new status as "workers". We, however, will have snappy new uniforms, Missile parades and lots more to talk about at cocktail parties. |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 6:55:01 AM EDT
[#48]
May we 'utilize' the people to clear firing ranges and, perhaps, even work the ammo factories, keeping us all supplied with an endless bounty of 'free' ammo?
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Posted: 11/20/2001 6:58:26 AM EDT
[#49]
The savages abilities as laborers will be harnessed to fufill ALL of our needs.
It's a workers paradise. |
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Posted: 11/20/2001 6:58:41 AM EDT
[#50]
Quoted: May we 'utilize' the people to clear firing ranges and, perhaps, even work the ammo factories, keeping us all supplied with an endless bounty of 'free' ammo? Of course! They will be blessed to maintain our weaponry. I suggest that the missile crews be gleaned from ourNubile border goddesses, and that their uniformes be purchased from Victoria's Secret Military Catalogue. |
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