Favorite punchlines > General Discussion

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:28:20 AM EDT

My two favorites are:

1. . . . so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

2. . . . Wednesday is YOUR day in the barrel.

What are your funniest, most memorable punchlines?

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:45:58 AM EDT

[#1]

. . . nah, it's just ice cream!

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:47:15 AM EDT

[#2]

".....The Aristocrats!"

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:47:35 AM EDT

[#3]

Get your own monkey.

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:50:50 AM EDT

[#4]

1. No they call you a cocksucker!

2. Them folkers were metzershmidts!!

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:51:03 AM EDT

[#5]

RECTUM!............................................DAMN NEAR KILLED'EM!

I am serious.......................................and don't call me Shirley (surely)

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:54:18 AM EDT

[#6]

.........MY goat was chained to a railroad tie.

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:59:48 AM EDT

[#7]

"Bent it Hell, I Broke It"

Posted: 3/4/2008 11:03:54 AM EDT

[#8]

If thats your finger wheres my pen???

Posted: 3/4/2008 11:49:25 AM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
RECTUM!............................................DAMN NEAR KILLED'EM!

LOL, I just said that this morning to some of my guys who cross threaded a $50 hose adapter!!

Posted: 3/4/2008 12:40:58 PM EDT

[#10]

thats what she said

Posted: 3/4/2008 12:48:50 PM EDT

[#11]

That's right, Take it all bitch!

Posted: 3/4/2008 12:57:21 PM EDT

[#12]

"Ten bucks, same as in town!"

"I saw a monkey trying to put the cork back in..."

Posted: 3/4/2008 4:38:29 PM EDT

[#13]

"On the side? When did they move it?"

Posted: 3/4/2008 4:41:16 PM EDT

[#14]

You again?....Didn't I tell you to go fuck your mother?

Posted: 3/4/2008 4:42:08 PM EDT

[#15]

"You dont come here for the hunting, do you?"

Posted: 3/4/2008 4:46:21 PM EDT

[#16]

" Because she's got worms too and we love fishin'"
"I don't know, I never did find her head"

Posted: 3/4/2008 4:47:26 PM EDT

[#17]

"......You don't have to walk out of here alone!"

Posted: 3/4/2008 4:47:33 PM EDT

[#18]

"It's just not your day, Pete."

Posted: 3/4/2008 4:56:34 PM EDT

[#19]

"I'll have a Coke!"

Posted: 3/4/2008 4:56:57 PM EDT

[#20]

"Help me find my keys and we'll drive out"

"Oh, I just picked the scabs and let the pus run out"

Posted: 3/4/2008 5:01:59 PM EDT

[#21]

Sure, just don't hit me with a bottle.

Posted: 3/4/2008 5:02:35 PM EDT

[#22]

Let's go get shitfaced!

Posted: 3/4/2008 5:10:06 PM EDT

[#23]

Quoted:
"I'll have a Coke!"

CLASSIC!!!!!

Posted: 3/4/2008 5:17:09 PM EDT

[#24]

...the water's deep too!

...then wash your hands and make me a sandwich.

... a fuck for a duck, and a duck for a fuck. and fifteen dollars for a fucked up duck.

Posted: 3/4/2008 5:20:54 PM EDT

[#25]

"Really? What was your mother's maiden name?"

"Excuse me, I'm on the wrong end of the bar."

Posted: 3/4/2008 5:23:52 PM EDT

[#26]

And then she said "But that's not a ham sandwich!"

Posted: 3/4/2008 5:25:42 PM EDT

[#27]

"...But you f*ck one goat..."

Oh, favorite? I've posted this one here before:

"AAAAAH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Posted: 3/4/2008 6:00:40 PM EDT

[#28]

slow down son, let's walk down and f*ck em all

he said he was gonna focus.
Both of us?

Posted: 3/4/2008 6:22:03 PM EDT

[#29]

Quoted:
"...But you f*ck one goat..."

I have a feeling this is about the same joke as my 'Hell no, they call you a cocksucker' joke.

Does it involve a bricklayer?

Posted: 3/4/2008 6:28:12 PM EDT

[#30]

....shoot that damn dog!

Posted: 3/4/2008 7:21:06 PM EDT

[#31]

"Yew don't come aroun' here for the huntin', do ye, boy?"

Posted: 3/4/2008 7:25:16 PM EDT

[#32]

"You look like you been ate by a wolf and shit over a cliff". Ken

Posted: 3/4/2008 7:28:11 PM EDT

[#33]

damn mouse

Posted: 3/4/2008 7:38:57 PM EDT

[#34]

"Fuck Sunny D, I want some of that purple drink."

Posted: 3/4/2008 7:41:11 PM EDT

[#35]

"No soap, radio!"

Posted: 3/4/2008 7:42:54 PM EDT

[#36]

.....Not right now you don't!

Posted: 3/4/2008 7:49:01 PM EDT

[#37]

"Breaks over, back on your head."

Posted: 3/4/2008 7:50:29 PM EDT

[#38]

"May I see your receipt please?"

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:40:06 PM EDT

[#39]

"Where are my goddamn cookies?"

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:41:49 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
"I'll have a Coke!"

Boondock Saints

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:46:04 PM EDT

[#41]

hmmm in no particular order...

1. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEAH

2. GAAAAAYEAH *invented word by my friend and I. Gay + yayeah = GAYEAH*

3. GET TO THE CHOPPA! DO IT DO IT NOW!!!!!

4. it better..IT BETTER!!

5. AWW GAY!

6. fucking shit!

7. JAWOHL!

8. IT IS TIME!

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:50:07 PM EDT

[#42]

Uh, we just ride the camel into town...

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:51:00 PM EDT

[#43]

Quoted:
thats what she said

+1

The family guy episode when he's putting together the baby crib with Brian.....

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:56:50 PM EDT

[#44]

Dye it? Why? What color is it now?

Son, are you sure that dog is dead?

I don't know, but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios.

I'll do it if you won't slap me so hard.

Stranger: "Well, how do they taste?"
Farmer: "Dunno, ain't caught one yet."

Posted: 3/4/2008 10:58:41 PM EDT

[#45]

because it was dead......

how far do you think your gonna get on a scab......

its the lady behind you dippin her bread in your neck......

Posted: 3/4/2008 11:05:42 PM EDT

[#46]

yup....gravity sucks!

Posted: 3/4/2008 11:22:36 PM EDT

[#47]

... So I get out there, and I get two obese Patties, Special Ross, and Lester G picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus!!!.

Posted: 3/4/2008 11:26:08 PM EDT

[#48]

(In response to a guy asking how to get a glock)

"...all you need is a $200 tax stamp from the ATF for a DD..."

Posted: 3/4/2008 11:34:09 PM EDT

[#49]

It puts the lotion on it's skin.

Posted: 3/5/2008 12:44:47 AM EDT

[#50]

"Where da white women at?!?!?"

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