Posted: 2/4/2008 12:48:06 PM EDT
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Hey, I get it. You misdialed, or maybe you even dialed correctly but the number has changed since you last tried it. Maybe someone gave you the wrong number or you made a mistake writing it down. Either way, I'm cool with that. I know I have dialed my share of wrong numbers too. When you call, I'll ask who you are and who you are trying to reach. If I don't know you or the person you want, I will politely tell you that you have the wrong number, and I would expect it should end there. It doesn't though, does it? No, you just aren't convinced I'm not the guy you're looking for, despite the fact that you never heard my voice before. Instead you'll argue with me that you got the right number, as if I can somehow make Tony appear out of thin air. That isn't the worst of it though. I know sometimes people might lie and tell you its the wrong number just because they don't want to talk to you. It still wont help you get ahold of Tony, but I understand why you want to haggle over it a little bit. Now, what really gets me is when I get wrong numbers in a completely different language. Be it Spanish, Japanese, or Tagalog, I'll tell you that you have dialed the wrong number. I know its the wrong number because no one I know speaks any of those languages when they try calling me. I have to apologize, because I can only tell you "wrong number" in English. I'm sorry, but I don't speak your language. I understand you might not understand me when I tell you, since you don't seem to speak my language either. But hey, shouldn't that be enough of a clue right there? I know if I get someone on the line who is speaking a language that my intended doesn't speak, I'm pretty sure I got the wrong number. But still, all you one time callers get a break when it comes to the next batch of callers. Yeah, you know who you are, the Repeated Callback Callers. It's not enough just to call me once and be told you have the wrong number, you need to try multiple times. I could even see calling twice, just to make sure you didn't fat-finger the buttons and dial a five instead of a four. But three times or more? Sometimes I think you are just hitting redial because the follow up calls come so fast. Is this really getting you anywhere? I also find it hard to believe that in this day of cellphones and caller ID you cant tell you got the wrong number right off the bat. Cant you just check the number you last dialed, and see if its the number you have written down? If it is, why are you going to call again? Do you think I'm going to say "Ah ya got me, let me go get Tony for you."? Here are a three simple tips to help prevent wrong numbers in the future. 1) When you hook up with that hottie in the club, don't try to remember their number in your head or write it down on a soggy napkin. You know what, put it in your phone right away. I know you carry your phone into the club right? 2) When someone gives you their number, and you put it in your phone (you did follow step one didn't you?) try giving them a call. If it doesn't go through you'll know instantly it is a wrong number and you can make the correction right away. 3) If you need to give your number to someone, and they DON'T have a phone handy to put it in, write down your number yourself, clearly and legibly. I know it can be hard to hear the numbers correctly over the throbbing baselines in the club, so eliminate all confusion and write it yourself. Hey, write your name down too, and where you met so she'll remember in the morning after she wakes up with that wicked rufie hangover too! Oh, and along with this comes one other small topic I thought I'd mention. If you call my phone and I don't answer, but you realize you got the wrong number when you hear my voice mail and hang up, I might call you back. You see, my phone shows me all my "missed calls", and even though I don't recognize the number it might be someone important. When I call you back and ask if you called me earlier, don't lie. I know you did because your number is right there in my phone. I didn't even have' to re-enter the numbers, I just called back the number displayed on my phone. There really isn't any shame in a wrong number, so just fess up and you'll come off looking a lot better. |
I always try to see how long I can keep wrong numbers on the phone (after telling them that this is in fact a wrong number). I think my longest was about 10 minutes. The dude was actually pretty cool. I told him I heard the Doors playing in the background, and mentioned that I play guitar. Turns out, so did he, so we talked guitars for a while. I like people. What can I say? 
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The worst ones are the ones who just hang up on you without apologizing or explaining when they realize they have a wrong number. Scratch that, the worst ones are the ones who keep calling back IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT every other night for WEEKS until you threaten to have the cops called on them for harassment. |
When my mom was in college (late 70's), her room mate got a call at 3 in the morning that was a wrong number. So she didn't let him hang up; "you called at 3 in the morning, you're gonna frigging talk to me". They became sort of like pen pals, but over the phone, calling each other once a month or so just to catch up. Turns out, he left David Karesh's group just before the ATF set the place on fire. Good timing! |
See? I like that. Perfect example of making lemonaid out of lemons.
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I usually get the people that misdial and then get pissed off at me for it, like it was my fault. Me: Hello Them: silence Me: Hello Them: WHO IS THIS!!!!! WTF, they don't say "is so and so there" or "is this so and so's number?". Nope they demand to know who I am, as if I was the one calling them. My response is usually: "You tell me, you're the one called me". |
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I got several calls from an old, confused sounding black lady asking for someone I didn't know. She had my phone number (cell-phone), probably because someone else had that number before me. I told her that it was the wrong number, and she seemed to understand. The next day, she called again...and again. I leave my phone turned off now.
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I was putting in an Office Managment system for a big corp. It runs the by print server and keep track of number of copies made, faxes pages printed ect. It also keeps people from connect by IP adress and bypassing the server. The company pays by page and does'nt own the printers. I explained to one lady how the fax scanned and kept a copy on the machine and server. I also explained how it would resend the fax until it completed. I also told her to make certian the number was right. For some odd reason the company did not want to turn on the abort if a voice picked up instead of a fax machine a certian number of times. Can you guess what happened next? She pt in a correct bt bad number and walked off. It repeatedlly diald for a day and a half. i just happen to walk buy and the speaker was on and you can hear the guy during the negotiation. I learned some new words. he was talking how he was going to kill everyone at the number calling. |
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some dipshit(s) call me a couple of times a month and make me say HELLO?? about 8 times before they finally ask "is Mark there?" No you stupid fuck, he is not here, never has been here and never will be here. Just like the last 12 times I told you. Don't fucking call again. |
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Years ago, I got a doosey. Guy calls, and thinks his old lady is at my house. Obvious wrong number. I explain that he has the wrong number. He LOSES it! Starts threatening me, cussing me, etc. I know he has NO WAY of knowing who I am, or where I live, he has the wrong number. So, after he rants for a while, I tell him, "You got me. She is back in the bedroom, naked and I am going back there to fuck her eyeballs out.". Then, I hang up. My wife was giving the strangest look. I explained it and she was half laughing, half worried. I kept an eye on the paper, but didn't see anything about a murder...
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My recent "wrong number" at around 2 AM. Me- This is Meplat. Them- U GOTS MAH FUKKIN MONEY!? Me- What? I think you have the wrong number. Them- NI**ER YOUS BEST HAV MAH FUKKIN MONEY OR AHMA GONNA BUST U UP! Me- You are not getting a dime out of me, sorry. Them- U IS DED! DED MOTHAFUKKAH! I'SE COMIN THAH TO BUST YO HED! Me- Brilliant. I'll alert the Queen and make some tea. *Click* I wonder if he got his money. |
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I used to have a senora call me. I kept telling her "mal numero." Finally I got fed up. We had a dialup line on a server at work and a copy of winfax. I entered her number and set it to call her, starting at midnight and had it keep calling until it was able to send the fax.  HEY! WAMJR Habla espanol, bitch? 
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The ones I love are the speed dialers. They call, get a wrong number, hang up, then CALL BACK IN 10 SECONDS! There is NO WAY they could have dialed again, the dumbass must have hit redial! 
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Had a telemarketer who would call us ALL. FUCKING. DAY. Every day. For nearly a month straight. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Telling him we weren't interested in his fucking product didn't deter. Telling him we were on the do-not-call list didn't deter him. Ignoring him for three weeks straight and never answering the phone didn't deter him. Finally, when I was home alone (14 years old at the time), I got sick and tired of the phone ringing every five fucking minutes. Literally. So I answered it. "Hello?" "HI! If you switch your cable service (or whatever the fuck he was selling) today you can get-" "Wait, hold on- I think somebody just broke my window. Hang on one second and let me go check." Then I set the receiver down, placed an M-80 (one of the old school "I just lost a hand" ones) next to it, lit the fuse, and stuck my fingers in my ears. BOOM! Then I picked the receiver up again. "Holy shit! I've been shot!" Then I hung up. I got the idea from a Calvin and Hobbes where he said that line after popping a balloon. It worked too; bastard never called us back again. Of course, later I got pissed at him because as far as he knew the people he'd been harassing for a month had just been burglarized and somebody had been shot, and the fucker didn't even call the cops. |
"OK, you win, I'll get them..." Set phone down, walk away. 15 minutes later, hang it up. |
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If someone asks for a girl, I say Hold on, then come back in a falsetto voice and say Hello. I've gone a few sentences with a girl before she realized it was a man, baby! My favorite was "Hey, is Ron there?" No, but I'll tell him you called. OK, bye! (never said their name) 
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Back before all the caller id stuff and even cell phones for the commoners we would get calls from people who transposed the last four numbers when calling the local pizza chain store. I always corrected people gently and even explained which numbers were transposed for them. Courteous service, that's me. Then, well that changed when people started hanging up without an oops, sorry, or anything. Then they got ugly, like has been posted before, it is my fault for not taking their order. So, one night it was nearly midnight and they are calling and waking the very young kids at my house i decided on a no-more-Mr-Nice-Guy approach. When they persisted after a very sleepy 'Hello' to order pizzas I took the orders. Several of them in fact. And anyone calling after midnight "won a Hundred thousandth order" prize of all the free pizza you want for a month, but you had to drive to the shop within 30 minutes to sign up before closing. Calls stopped. |
I had a black guy keep calling me for months because he thought I was his girlfriend. I kept telling him I was a guy, but he didn't believe me.   It didn't help that I have a tenor voice like Geddy Lee. (If you know what Geddy Lee's voice sounds like; Then you'd know why that'd cause me problems)
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SAYYYYYYYYYYLLLLLESMAN!!!! Damn, thirty years later and I can still feel his voice cutting my eardrums like a knitting needle in concert. But they sure were a great show..... |
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When sales people call I like to hand the phone to my 6yr old. She loves to talk and tell them about her day. Luckily I have a two year old to take her place in a few years. When I'm home alone and get those calls I will start yelling and cursing. I like to pretend I'm gonna kill the make believe people that are talking to me. H. |