Posted: 1/16/2008 6:04:59 PM EDT
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ETA : I'm calling her tommorrow; I want to know how many days ahead I should let har have before the date. IE calling thursday afternoon to tell her I'm going Thursday night wouldn't be too considerated. Clear as mud? OK arfcom, I'm not asking for dating advice  , but I'm asking about advice on how far in advance of a possible date do I need to call her. I'm from the South; so my manners are in order etc etc. My only other notable background information is that I haven't dated for about 1.5 years due to a lack of worthwhile (single) ladies in my life.SO here is the situation; A young Lady I knew in High School who also goes to college with me bumped into me at the Grocery Store. We talked for several minutes and caught up with each other. She mentioned in very clear terms that she was now single; we had a good conversation... but I don't want to bore you with the details. [insert BS]One thing led to another and the Walmart manager wanted to call the cops...something about public nudity.... I drew down on him and then pushed down the door checker as I exited the store. The cops showed up but I flashed my CCW badge and made a clean getaway  [end BS]In all seriousness she seemed interested; I mentioned that I was going to some restaurant (which she hasn't been to) and she asked me to let her know when I was going (I proceeded to get her number) and said I wasn't sure if I was going this week or next; but that I would call her. FWIW; she did Cross Country in HS, and Killed bears in Canada with her Bow SO. This transpired Tuesday; I think I should wait till tommorow (thursday) afternoon to call her. How many days heads up should I give her (barring she's available and still wants to go) 1, 2, 3? I was thinking try for Sat or Monday evening. What says Arfcom? |
are in check so now work on your grammar. We, in the North, have grammar in "check".
+1 I usually play it casual in the sense of..after awesome concersation n such...hey..theres this really awesome restaurant..wanna go with me? |
I'm sorry; I'm all grammared out form writing a two page paper about a Scientific Journal entry regarding Savannah and Grassland development.  j/k I like... and think that strick grammar ruins conversational writing and books (think how much more batshot crazy heinlein would be if he had to put up with Word like me). |
I'll call tommorow; the SIIHPAPP may take some luck and a bit of time. |
There was no time like the present. On Tuesday when she invited herself you should have acted all shocked and then said that the only way you would give up your secret restaurant is if she paid. Then you tell her that you were going Thursday night and you expected her to be there. That type of approach always works out. The best case is she takes you on and returns the running joke and actually pays for the date. If she acts all shocked, you tease her more about getting to go your secret restaurant and how she owes you for that. You keep the whole thing funny and she will have a good time just talking about going out to eat. If she gets really pissed then you know she's turned crazy and you can walk away before sinking any $$$$ into it. Since that didn't happen, you are really too late in calling unless she is single with options on the table. If that is the case then Thursday would be fine to call for a Saturday night date. If you wait too long she will find something else interesting to do for the weekend. A Monday date isn't a good idea as most people are spent and tired on Monday from the weekend. Shoot for Saturday night. |
I don't know about the Monday tired thing... but I don't party all weekend. Other than that I shall enact your plan and get Sat evening if I can. I figured the Choloform joke would come up; I'm going to rely on my good looks and wit (I'm screwed ).
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You lack the confidence necessary to attract this woman. Seriously. I wish I had the time to consider the details of the call to talk about the details of a date. Here is my recommendation: -Call her. Where ever it fits in your priorities. -Tell her you enjoyed catching up with her. -Ask her a few questions, like two, about her past experiences that she would answer "yes". -Ask her if it would be fun to meet again and catch up some more (because the time you have for this call is almost done). -Tell her (note I did not day "ask") you'd like to take her out to dinner (or any activity you know that you both like). - Say her to "Take a look at your calendar and tell me what day next week is good for you". Note that I skipped the and "building value" and "Overcomming objections" steps as it looks like you have a green light from the grocery store. ETA: what the hell- I put a little "finding needs" back in there. Make it happen. |
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Many movies and popular culture insinuate that some waiting period is needed say, 2 days or so from the time you get a girls number and the time you should call her. The way I see it, if you like her and she likes you, call her whenever you get an oppurtunity to talk for a while. Leave all the childrens games to 16 and 17 year olds. |
ideas ideas....
...I won't disagree with you too much; call inbound within the next hour (when classes are changing). I'll freely admit that I'm timid with the lady folk. |
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Call her for general conversation, and tell her that you would like to ask her out, and to set a time for the date. Ask her about how she generally needs to go about scheduling things. I mean, some of us live simple lives with few prior commitments. Others might have church choir on Wed night, dinner with mom and dad every Sat, aerobics classes every Tues and Thu evenings, etc ,etc... Get her to talking about her usual standing commitments, and just plain ask her how much lead time you should give her to schedule an evening out. By the way, in general, it's one kind of thing to say 'Hey, you wanna go do the (mid-price range) place tonight or tomorrow?' But it's a whole different ball of wax if you want to plan a 'big' night out, which requires fancy dressing up, and probably her setting an appointment with her hair stylist. Just call and ask HER about how HER scheduling dates works for HER. 
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A lot of really good advice in here. A lot of that advice can be used with other real life situations. Always dictate but in a professional manner. Always show confidence. Most women dont like men that lack confidence and dont have control of the situation. Next time just call her and ask her what time you should pick her up on a certain day. Let her know what you guys will be doing so she isnt over or under dressed and go with it. Never leave a date up in the air and try to figure out what you guys are going to do for the evening during the evening. Make plans for a good night and something to do after dinner, and plan for a bad night at ending after the dinner. |
Thanks; right now it's just Dinner at 6pm...maybe we'll try a movie after. Either way I'm meeting her at the restaraunt. |
Good Job! I have a call I have to make tomorrow myself. (I'd call today but she's at work) Wish me luck. SG |
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This largely depends on her age. I would say that if you haven't made plans with her by noon on a Thursday and she is young she probably has plans already for Friday, but Saturday could still be doable. Just ask if she wants to go out Saturday night. That gives her plenty of time to get ready for your date and switch up any previous plans she may have had with friends. P.S. A a year and a half? Either move to where there are more women or get a match.com or something account.  |
Well...I guess you could say I have strict requirements. And we've all seen the number of lard bodies on Match.com. Right now it's just meeting at a restaraunt; I may call her erlier the day of (tuesday) or tommorow, and see if she wants to hit a movie or some other event after dinner. And good luck ScaryGuy! |