Posted: 1/9/2008 7:38:41 PM EDT
|
I read of the recent incident in which Iranian gunboats harrassed our ships in international waters near the straights of Hormuz. I am deeply concerned about this incident which placed the safety of my very expensive boats and the safety of my employees serving as their crews in danger. Since I have hired you to manage these assets, I trust that you will ensure that should such an incident happen in the future, you will see to it that those boats seeking to harm my assets are swiftly and directly sent to the bottom of the ocean. While I know that we have no particular interest in seizing the nation of Iran, we certainly have a vested interest ensuring that the shipping lanes near their sphere of influence are free and navagable by any ship engaged in peaceful commerce. Sir, if the Iranian government is so brazen that they will harras armed US warships, then certainly they would easily do worse to unarmed merchant ships engaged in peaceful trade. I therefore insist that you contact the Iranians and convey that such actions will no longer be tollerated by them. I am more than comfortable with extending them very close personal and loud demonstrations of some of those very expensive explosives that I have already purchased for just such an occaision. If per chance they are too close and something untowards should happen, well, thats their problem not mine. I am also not opposed to perhaps sending some of our aircraft to do a demonstration of our irritation over say Tehran. Nothing fancy mind you, perhaps just a brief low level flyby of their capitol. Perhaps they could drop a few notes or something to indicate that it would be in their best interest to be our friends instead of enemies. I of course would expect our employees to defend themselves should the Iranians not appreciate this gesture of goodwill. I see no reason at all to actually get out of our vehicles and visit their towns, cities or goat paths. I think this might be perceived badly, you know, like damned yankees buying property in the deep south and actually looking like they are gonna stay. I think my idea for a quick visit is better and more to the point. Thank you for your kind attention to this matter. |
I wasn't trying to offend you, but the message is spot on, and I would hate for some assclown in the White House public relations office to disregard the meaning oogling in his own grammatical superiority. 
|