[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Found it. Please delete. (Page 1 of 5)
Posted: 10/31/2007 7:07:53 PM EDT
| delete. |
|
DTB. As an alternative, just start mentioning it to her every time a hot, fit chick walks by or appears on TV. You know honey, when you looked like her you were sexy as hell! Then she'll get butthurt and dump you. Then she'll hit the gym like mad, get thin and hot, and find a new BF. Then the cycle starts again. 
|
.
|
Well, I ran into this same scenario. You mentioned you can't get her to exercise regularly, how are you trying to get her to do this? A person can lose 5-10 pounds a month easily if they put a modicum of effort into it. Have an UNSPOKEN deadline for her. If she isn't back to her 120 in XX days, then:  If a person cannot be motivated to lead a healthy lifestyle, you'll never be able to change that. But you can change whom you associate with as far as pie. Yes, I followed my own advice and ejected. |
|
She is testing you,subconsciously. Seeing if you still love her no matter what. Giving her an ultimatum will only make it worse. I also hear you saying that she is avoiding doing things with you, could be depression. Normal women gain weight as they get older, but it sounds like she has issues deeper than weight gain, which is a symptom, not the problem. |
|
|
|
Was just watching the am news. Study came out that said obesity can be a factor in 6 kinds of cancer. Point this out immediately before the next study concludes obesity protects against 6 types of cancer. Buy a bikini to fit her original size and tell her when she can fit in it you'll take her to (fill in the blank). |
that is pretty chicken shit. you wont get to far in life if thats what you resort too.
Hate to break it to you, but people actually do metabolize differently as they age, and weight gain for some people becomes a "natural occurrence". Yes, you can offset that with diet and excercise, but her doctor is right about the tendency to put on weight as we age. |
| FWIW, if she doesn't like to work out now, she probably never will. My wife hates working out - she always has. She's one of the lucky ones tho - she's always been pretty thin. Sounds like you have an uphill battle on your hands, one that you'll probably lose. Sorry dude. |
|
Okay -- A female viewpoint. There's only one way to lead, and that's from the front -- and it sounds like you're doing that with your running and personal fitness routine. There is hope. What oftentimes happens in a relationship is that hormones and metabolism make it a lot easier for the guy to stay lean, while hormones and other factors create a much greater tendency for the female to pack on body fat. Nature dictates that a healthy female of reproductive age put on sufficient body fat to sustain a pregnancy throughout a famine or siege - okay, so even at best case scenario, she's going to carry a significantly higher body fat percentile than a guy. Birth control pills and other medications can drastically alter hormones to create even more body fat. Estrogen makes body fat, and in turn, body fat produces more estrogen -- a horrifying cycle into obesity. Thus, a guy and a gals can eat the same food, in proportionate quantities, and she will put on fat, while the guy won't. A woman simply has to work much harder and more concientiously than does a man to stay lean. But it CAN be done. I've been 30 lbs heavier, up to 150 lbs. The delicate balance had tipped into overweight for me, and I cannot stress how extremely, gruelingly hard it is for a woman to get the weight off AND keep her lean, healthy musculature. It CAN be done. What works for you (running) may well not be what works for her. In fact, men's lower natural body fat percentile pretty much dictates that she could never be near as good at running as you are. That can be very disheartening for a gal. My guy runs. I run. I never, ever, ever run with him. It is humiliating. But there are countless things she can do on her own to work out and lose weight. Aerobics classes are "tons" of fun for gals! Get her a gym membership someplace with aerobics classes. It's mostly gals do them, and they are great. Yoga is also a predominantly female activity here in America, and it is perfect for a weight-bearing, muscle-toning and mild strength training activity. What works for you most likely isn't what works for her. Just about any gal who goes through an average American life eating average American food WILL grow hugely overweight. That's the fact, and statistics bears this out. Shaming her will NOT work. Compliment her on the things she does do right. Compliment her on how she dances beautifully, or how you enjoy walking in the outdoors with her. Tell her she is graceful, tell her she "has beautifu moves", and "beautiful curves"... she'll get the message. Tell how she is graceful like a ballerina, how she is strong and lively. Reinforce the good qualities she does have. She already knnows she's fat. Give her glimmers of insight into her physical good traits that she can maximise into some sort of excercise -- aerobics, walking, yoga, ballet, hiking, etc. Do NOT shame her. Give her hope and encouragement. There IS hope when SHE can visualise HERself active and healthy! |
| Buy her a nice bike and take her with you. Also, you go grocery shopping, and buy more healthy things. Trying to change a woman's eating habits, and her weight is like trying to out run a police dog. In the end, no matter what you do, you still get bitten in the ass. |
ROFL |
| I feel sorry for her actually, having a guy be with her for a year, who is so self absorbed, so perfect, that he only cares about whats on the outside. Now thats love, she's a lucky girl. 5'6", 145 is not what I would call fat. You've tried telling her how "important" it is to you that she looks good? I don't know, maybe I'm just abnormal in thinking that loving someone, wanting to be with them, should be because of what kind of person they are, what they are like on the inside. Maybe I feel strongly about this, because my wife and I are working on losing weight, but this type of thinking makes me sick. I also believe that people who think and feel this way, are shallow, insecure pieces of crap. Have a nice freakin day. |