[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Michael Vick: Found Jesus (Page 1 of 2)
Posted: 8/27/2007 8:43:02 AM EDT
| Is anyone surprised that he found Jesus about the same time that the feds found the dog fighting pits at his pad? |
Impressive. Normally they wait until they are in prison and have modeled some decent behavior to find Jesus and claim to be good boys....but finding Jesus before you've even entered a plea is pretty friggin' fast. Either The Lord is working faster these days, or Vick is using The Lord to try and limit the damage. |
I'll bet Mike has always been ahead of the curve. |
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The problem with this whole Vick mess is that there are rapists and child molesters who have gotten off easier. Yes, Vick is a thug, but the level of outrage over the dog fighting nonsense is hard for me to reconcile with a society that has wept for dirty no-good murdering scumbags who have tortured and killed PEOPLE instead of just dogs. |
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I found Jesus! Find Jesus and click. www.fadetoblack.com/christ/christ2.htm |
Ding ding ding. Rapists and murderers get less attention and vitriol sent their way. That's criminal. |
Thanks for saving me the typing. |
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Plastic Jesus Lyrics Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes, Long as I have my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Through all trials and tribulations, We will travel every nation, With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. {Refrain} Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Through all trials and tribulations, We will travel every nation, With my plastic Jesus I'll go far. I don't care if it rains or freezes As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus Glued to the dashboard of my car, You can buy Him phosphorescent Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant, Take Him with you when you're travelling far {Refrain} I don't care if it's dark or scary Long as I have magnetic Mary Ridin' on the dashboard of my car I feel I'm protected amply I've got the whole damn Holy Family Riding on the dashboard of my car {Refrain} You can buy a Sweet Madonna Dressed in rhinestones sitting on a Pedestal of abalone shell Goin' ninety, I'm not wary 'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary Guaranteeing I won't go to Hell {Refrain} I don't care if it bumps or jostles Long as I got the Twelve Apostles Bolted to the dashboard of my car Don't I have a pious mess Such a crowd of holiness Strung across the dashboard of my car {Refrain} No, I don't care if it rains or freezes Long as I have my plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car But I think he'll have to go His magnet ruins my radio And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar {Refrain} Riding through the thoroughfare With his nose up in the air A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind Trouble coming, he don't see He just keeps his eyes on me And any other thing that lies behind Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Though the sun shines on his back Makes him peel, chip, and crack A little patching keeps him up to par When pedestrians try to cross I let them know who's boss I never blow my horn or give them warning I ride all over town Trying to run them down And it's seldom that they live to see the morning Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car His halo fits just right And I use it as a sight And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far When I'm in a traffic jam He don't care if I say Damn I can let all sorts of curses roll Plastic Jesus doesn't hear For he has a plastic ear The man who invented plastic saved my soul Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Once his robe was snowy white Now it isn't quite so bright Stained by the smoke of my cigar God made Christ a Holy Jew God made Him a Christian too Paradoxes populate my car Joseph beams with a feigned elan From the shaggy dash of my furlined van Famous cuckold in the master plan Naughty Mary, smug and smiling Jesus dainty and beguiling Knee-deep in the piling of my van His message clear by night or day My phosphorescent plastic Gay Simpering from the dashboard of my van When I'm goin' fornicatin I got my ceramic Satan Sinnin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home The women know I'm on the level Thanks to the wild-eyed stoneware devil Ridin' on the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home Sneerin' from the dashboard of my Winnebago Motor Home Leering from the dashboard of my van If I weave around at night And the police think I'm tight They'll never find my bottle, though they ask Plastic Jesus shelters me For His head comes off, you see He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus Riding on the dashboard of my car Ride with me and have a dram Of the blood of the Lamb Plastic Jesus is a holy bar |
| Met a gent once who was a Superior Court judge. He told me it was pretty much standard for convicts, just before sentencing, to tell the judge that they had found Jesus. The judge said there were two things about that he didn't understand: 1. Why didn't they find Jesus before they held up the 7-11 or beat up their girlfriend or whatever it was they were convicted of? 2. What made them think that their conversion to Christianity would evince leniency from him, Judge Silverberg? |
You know what I do? ... When I see an old lady struggling with getting her groceries into her car, I go over and help her put them away. But then, I find satan and I knock the last bag out of her hands.  Next time I get into trouble, I am going to follow Vick's example (and everyone else famous) and find jesus ASAP, so that I can use him as a scapegoat.  Personal Responsibility... It's rare these days. |
