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AR15.COM
7/29/2007 7:33:42 AM EDT
The ones in red cracked me up!

Questions Too Funny To Answer!
By Marilyn vos Savant
Published: July 29, 2007 linky

Email Marilyn a Question
I love questions, but some are so special that I don’t even try to answer them! These are some of my recent favorites from readers all over the country:

Didn’t Louis XIII have any furniture? Everybody’s heard about his son’s furniture, but what about him?
—from a reader in Philadelphia, Pa.

Does a 10-gallon hat really hold that much? They don’t look big enough.
—Oak Park, Ill.

Suppose we could get all living beings on Earth to face one direction and then begin running. Would this influence the speed of the Earth’s rotation?
—Waterloo, N.Y.

I notice you have the same first name as Marilyn Monroe. Are you two related?
—Portland, Ore.

Why can’t Michael Jackson carry his own umbrella?
—Penndel, Pa.

Where did all the stars go? In the ‘50s, the sky was loaded with them.
—St. Petersburg, Fla.

If fish could sneeze, and a whole school of fish sneezed all at once, how big of a wave would it create?
—Wichita, Kan.

Do you think daylight-saving time could be contributing to global warming? The longer we have sunlight, the more it heats the atmosphere.
—San Antonio, Tex.

Do flies ever get sick?
—Riverside, Calif.

I see falling stars nearly every night. They seem to come out of nowhere. Have stars ever fallen out of any known constellations?
—Batesville, Ark.

When a jack-in-the-box plays “Pop Goes the Weasel,” why does a clown always pop out instead?
—Miamisburg, Ohio


Can a ventriloquist converse with his dentist while his teeth are being worked on?
—Brooklyn, Mich.

When Columbus first crossed the pristine beaches of the New World, did he get that black tarry stuff on his feet? Or is that a development of civilization?
—Madisonville, Tenn.

After I began experiencing menopausal hot flashes, I wondered: Could we harness all this free heat generated by millions of women for a practical use?
—Stuart, Fla.

Who gets to peel all those popcorn shrimp?
—Kansas City, Kan.

Why do birds sometimes pick a single vehicle to make a mess on? Do they have a warped sense of humor, or are they not capable of this kind of thought?
—Williamsburg, Va.

Are there bathrooms in heaven?
—Baltimore, Md.

Instead of moving our clocks one hour forward every spring, then one hour backward every fall, why couldn’t we just move them one-half hour forward this spring and be done with it?
—Roanoke, Va.


I just observed a flock of geese flying in a “V” formation. Is that the only letter they know?
—Holbrook, N.Y.

When I dream, why don’t I need my glasses to see?
—Peabody, Mass.