[b]cont'd[/b]
Your stolen hotel bic pen. Drive it into an attacker's eye, ear, throat, or into the area just under the jaw bone. That's a particular interesting place to drive it, because when he opens his mouth to scream, you can read
"Hyatt" sticking there .
Your hand and fingers. Drive your fingers into his eyes and try to feel your fingernails scrape the back of his eye sockets. Scoop the eyeballs out. It will confuse the hell out of him when he finds himself looking at his shoes
as they dangle there on the ocular nerves.
Your teeth. Remember Hannabal Lecter. Eat a nose, a cheek, or a finger. And keep eating. Attack with all viciousness. A piranha is a small fish, but it's greatly feared. A hijacker is not expecting you to eat him and it
might make him forget why he got on your airplane to begin with. It will, at least, impress his buddies .
Now here's my wish-list of things the FAA could do to help, especially in this time of war .
Arm the Captain The battle is not going to require any long shots and a small revolver would be a good choice. It would hold off the attackers long enough for you to disable your aircraft. If the attackers claimed the red
package they were holding was a bomb, I'd shoot out the door glass and hope the door would be ripped out and the hijacker and his package would be sucked out. And hey, if I got sucked out with him, I'd try to fly myself to the hijacker look in his face and laugh at him all the way to the ground .
Invite the local Police to jumpseat Police are always looking for something free. Donut shops use to be a favorite target for robbers - until they started giving donuts to the Police. Robbers don't rob donut shops anymore. I would suggest each Police Department send the FAA a list of the best shots on the department and those guys and their guns would be welcome on my airplane. Fill every vacant seat with armed Police - give them a donut - and tell them to shoot anyone who gives your Flight Attendant any shit .
Stop this silly no-knife rule. Make it public. Tell the public they're welcome to bring their pocket knives onboard. Then everyone will bring them. When you make your intercom call for help, you'll have a dozen or more knife wielding helpers trying to make sure their new Gerber tastes fanatics blood. There are even a few of them who'd want to keep ears as
souvenirs .
Law enforcement agencies are all aware there are copy-cat criminals and fanatics. We have a number of loony fanatical hate-groups here in the USA: ALF, PETA, KKK, Army of God, Anti-abortionists, and the list goes on. It doesn't matter the size of your airplane. Right now, as I write this, there is an anti-abortionist escapee here in the Memphis area. He's seen what happened at the World Trade Center. A small commuter plane would do a great job on an abortion clinic, or on an animal research facility, or on a local synagogue, mosque, etc., etc., etc............ .
None of us are immune. Take some time and consider your actions if this event should ever happen to you .
My prayer is none of you ever have to face this kind of decision .
Best of luck to you, and may God Bless .
John Burnett
[b]Kiwi[/b]