Posted: 5/24/2007 8:00:00 AM EDT
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ASSORTED WISDOM (Stolen from the blog, Wicked Thoughts) 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back 3 - Half the people you know are below average. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8 - If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. 9 - All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand. 11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. 12 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up 13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. 18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. 19 - I intend to live forever -- so far, so good. 20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." 24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. 27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 28 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. |