Posted: 5/16/2007 7:14:03 PM EDT
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Little Johnny meets Jesse Jackson.... Jesse Jackson, while visiting a primary school class, found himself in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks Rev. Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy?" So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stood up and offered : "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy" " No", says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand : "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says : "If a plane carrying the Rev. Jackson were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson , "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either." |
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Little Johnny's first grade teacher is out for the week, so they assign a substitute. "Hello boys and girls," she says by way of introduction. "I'll be teaching you this week, and my name is Miss Prussy. To make my name a little easier to remember, just remember that it's like "pussycat", but with an "R" in it." The next morning, she walks in and greets the class. "Hello, everyone! Does anyone remember my name from yesterday?" Little Johnny stands up and blurts out, "Yes -- you're Miss Crunt!" |
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One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants. The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?" Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there." "Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the teacher. A little while later, Johnny came back to classroom and sat back down. Then the teacher came to the back of the room again, and he had his dick haging out of his pants. The teacher said, "Johnny, what's that doing hanging out of your pants?!" Then Johnny said, "My mommy said if I can stick it out until noon, she'll come and pick me up." |
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Little Johnny comes to class on Monday morning. A book report is due and most of the kids have not completed their reports. Ms. Jones, the teacher, asks for someone to volunteer by raising their hand and read their report. (Nobody moves a muscle.) She calls on Suzy, the best student in the class, to read her report… Suzy is embarrassed and says she is not finished yet. Ms. Jones then calls on Billy… he says he is not finished yet either. Ms. Jones really wasn’t prepared for this today…. it was a bad time of month for her, her boyfriend broke up with her over the weekend and she had a flat on the way to work. Frustrated, she starts ranting at the kids, saying “What is wrong with you kids?” "Are you idiots or something???" Then in a sarcastic tone she asks “OK, who here is an idiot?” And “Raise your hand if you are an idiot!” (Nobody moves a muscle.) This aggravates Ms Jones even more, and she starts screaming at the top of her voice: “Who here is an idiot???” and “If you are an idiot, stand up!” (Nobody moves a muscle) Ms. Jones stands glaring at the kids with her arms crossed. After an eternity, little Johnny eases out of his chair in the back of he room and stands up. This pushes Ms. Jones over the edge… she starts in on him… “You think I will go easy on you???" "Do you think you are the only idiot in the room???" Little Johnny replies: “No M’am, I just didn’t want you to stand all by yourself”. |
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ok, little johnny is in class and the teacher asks the students to use a word of their choice in a sentance. little suzy stands up and says "beautiful" "I love the beautiful leaves when they turn colors in the fall" very good says the teacher. little johnny raises his hand but the teacher knows it will be something vulgar so she passes over him and calls on billy. Billy says "complicated", "algebra has complicated problems to solve" very nice says the teacher. after a few more students have gone, little johnny is just about jumping out of his seat wanting to be called upon. alas the teacher can't ignore him any longer and reluctantly calls on little johnny. little johnny says "urinate" the teacher thinks " how bad can urinate be in a sentance? ok, johnny go ahead. she says. "urinate" "but if you had bigger tits you'de be a 10" 
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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good Shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom." |
| Little Johnny was late to school. Teacher asked "What's your excuse today, Johnny?'. Little Johnny says " Gee, I was walking to school this morning and this dog was sitting in the middle of the street lickin' his balls when this truck comes by and runs his ass over". The teacher says "Johnny, don't talk like that. Instead of ass, say rectum". Johnny says " Wrecked em! It fuckin' killed em". |