Posted: 4/15/2007 11:16:01 AM EDT
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You sir, have been cheated on. The fact the the 3rd party happens to be a woman is irrelevant. The threesome is nothing more than a temporary benefit. I concur with swingset: your relationship will eventually fail. It sounds like you're already having trust issues. |
Divorce isn't about truth, it's about the lies she can get away with to get more money out of you wallet. And to whom ever said that you had been cheated on is spot on. You better get a reality check ASAP or flush now. |
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Here's what my logic has been: Yes, she cheated on me. I honestly take the blame for that one because of my perverted fantasies. I didn't care at the time, but now I do regret letting this happen. I personally have had trust issues in the back of my mind especially after reading some of these cheating threads. Within the past 3 years things have slowed way down for the both of us almost like we retired from the party scene, and are now living in a nursing home. Our biggest concern anymore is whats for dinner. Its not pie anymore. I haven't seen anymore notions that she even wants to talk to another person at all anymore besides myself. It's really strange to look back on things and then see how much has changed as you get older. I'm the one at fault for letting her do what she did, but should this be a concern for the future? |
I vote yes. You have set a precedent for future extra-marital affairs with NO repercussions. ETA: unless you are ok with going down on your wife and not knowing whether or not another man's nut is about to be on your tongue. 
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My guess is guilt about affairs you don't know about. Guilt does funny things to people. Usually hyper-vigilance about a particular subject is indicative of a guilt manifestation from acts she is guilty of. Look at it like this. She knows she fucked up. She know you would be pissed if you found out and you might leave her. She is feeling much guilt for potentially fucking up her "good" relationship and makes sure you are under control and "happy". |
| Very interesting. So aside from what I already know is there anyway to get her to confess anything else she may be guilty of. I have never had alot of these trust issues except for that one time, and I honestly believe that it was my fault for planting the seed. Nothing else has ever happened that I know about, and like I said we were, and still are together 95% of the time. |
My advise is worth exactly what you paid for it, however I have BTDT and got the T shirt... |
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Play out this scenario. Wife and girlfriend and you have a threesome. It was fun for your wife and you and girlfriend. Months later girlfriend meets some guy who finds out she does threesomes and wants one. Girlfriend says to your wife "I did it for you, now you need to do it for me". Still think threesomes are OK? |
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She's going to leave you for a woman. She has already cheated on you with another woman the first time. What would have happened if it was a guy and her in bed, underwear strewn across the floor and she said "we talked about it, but didn't do anything  It would be ok right, since it was ok when it was another chick.
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Is this other woman still spending nights at your place? When you're working? If so, you wife may be bisexual, and having an affair. That's infidelity. You're wife's high concern about others flirting may be because she know, at some level, the pain infidelity can bring. |
There is a good amount of truth here. The question is, can you live without knowing the truth... |
spot on! |
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as stated above: I bet she's reacting to guilt. we all know tons of women who will have a baby just to force their boyfriend to marry them, husband to stay with them, etc. think about it. oh, and you can stop saying "just this one time" now. no one else is falling for it, why are you? |
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I'm a little confused here... Your wife had a fling with a chic, then on a separate occasion you had a threesome with your wife and a different girl. Both instances you were alright with. The tone in your first post is practically bragging about it, and now you're all of a sudden concerned about infidelity in the future because your wife has changed over the last few years? Are you the exact same person you were 8 years ago? Am I missing something here? 
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I guess I am a little confused too, the 3some incidents happened years ago or recently? Why is the incidents coming up now? People do stupid things when they are young, esp when alceehol is involved. I think most people change when they get older. I have stories I am not stupid enough to post here but I went through a real wild stage, it was lifetimes ago and I am not scarred for life over it. Has your wife brought something up? Just console yourself that you have some memories and stories to tell (or maybe not tell  ) and let it go at that. After 8 yrs it's all in the past. The thing with the secret marriage and dissapearing act, that's just crazy. |
